text stringlengths 0 1.15k |
|---|
[02:56:01.78 -> 02:56:02.86] Unknown: It's controlled everything. |
[02:56:03.12 -> 02:56:12.02] Unknown: Alexa, Google Voice, Siri, everywhere you turn, there's some version of some new virtual voice assistant coming soon to a gadget near you. |
[02:56:12.14 -> 02:56:14.26] Unknown: And some of it, it makes a ton of sense. |
[02:56:14.40 -> 02:56:17.74] Unknown: I mean, Amazon's Echo, Google Home, they've been such big hits. |
[02:56:17.86 -> 02:56:22.64] Unknown: Of course, we're seeing it come to every shape and size of smart home speaker and screen. |
[02:56:22.64 -> 02:56:28.62] Unknown: Now it's showing up in new TVs, earbuds, cars make sense because it's hands-free. |
[02:56:28.68 -> 02:56:32.68] Unknown: And robots? Because, well, I mean, it's natural to talk to them, right? |
[02:56:32.96 -> 02:56:36.30] Unknown: But are we really ready to talk to our toilet? |
[02:56:36.70 -> 02:56:38.42] Unknown: Alexa, flush my toilet. |
[02:56:38.92 -> 02:56:46.22] Unknown: In this race for the crown jewel of smart home control, Kohler's latest high-end NuMe toilet might just take the throne. |
[02:56:46.42 -> 02:56:51.68] Unknown: You can ask it to heat up the seat, lift the lid, play your favorite tunes, and of course, flush. |
[02:56:51.68 -> 02:56:53.40] Unknown: Plush. Okay, get it all out. |
[02:56:53.54 -> 02:56:55.96] Unknown: Potty humor, but of all jokes, go ahead. |
[02:56:56.02 -> 02:56:57.00] Unknown: You know you want to. |
[02:56:57.16 -> 02:57:00.10] Unknown: Then, just think about how great it's finally going to be |
[02:57:00.10 -> 02:57:03.06] Unknown: to end that age-old argument between men and women everywhere |
[02:57:03.06 -> 02:57:05.74] Unknown: to please put the toilet seat down. |
[02:57:06.02 -> 02:57:07.56] Unknown: Like that. See that? Isn't that magical? |
[02:57:08.02 -> 02:57:10.02] Unknown: Amazing. Watch. One more time. |
[02:57:10.28 -> 02:57:13.08] Unknown: One more time. It goes up, right? |
[02:57:13.44 -> 02:57:16.23] Unknown: And then it goes down. Comprende? |
[02:57:16.47 -> 02:57:18.59] Unknown: And hands-free, I mean seriously, |
[02:57:18.81 -> 02:57:21.35] Unknown: talk about a germaphobe's dream come true. |
[02:57:21.93 -> 02:57:26.51] Unknown: So as much as I really want to mock it, I would buy it in a heartbeat if I won the lottery. |
[02:57:26.67 -> 02:57:28.31] Unknown: I mean, it's going to be about $6,500. |
[02:57:29.15 -> 02:57:31.73] Unknown: Yeah, that's the level of reporting we get from CES. |
[02:57:33.84 -> 02:57:38.34] Unknown: I'm not really a big fan of all these connected devices, you know, the connected home. |
[02:57:39.68 -> 02:57:41.06] Unknown: It's very dumb. |
[02:57:41.52 -> 02:57:42.36] Unknown: Very dumb. |
[02:57:43.73 -> 02:57:44.73] Unknown: I'll give you an example. |
[02:57:44.85 -> 02:57:46.57] Unknown: I'll give you an example of the lights. |
[02:57:46.61 -> 02:57:50.59] Unknown: So I have the Philips Hue lights, which I like, you know, with the app. |
[02:57:50.59 -> 02:57:55.67] Unknown: you can kind of set scenes in the house and that's nice and then you can connect your amazon |
[02:57:55.67 -> 02:58:03.95] Unknown: talking tube to it but here's the incredible smart ai and machine learning sometimes it thinks when |
[02:58:03.95 -> 02:58:11.78] Unknown: i say you know what's her face turn the lights on she thinks i'm saying turn them off and then |
[02:58:11.78 -> 02:58:19.00] Unknown: she says okay and nothing happens because it's so smart with all the ai that she doesn't even |
[02:58:19.00 -> 02:58:24.18] Unknown: even know how to check to see if they're on or not i mean this is it's it's not a smart system |
[02:58:24.18 -> 02:58:30.18] Unknown: and it gets you know you lose your internet and then you can't turn your lights on it's it's it's |
[02:58:30.18 -> 02:58:36.70] Unknown: dumb it's dumb here's another thing that kind of bothers me i've seen these ads where the guy's got |
[02:58:36.70 -> 02:58:42.18] Unknown: one of these devices and he says turn my lights on the lights come on do you think anybody goes |
[02:58:42.18 -> 02:58:46.54] Unknown: and buys one of these things and just puts it in the house and says turn my lights on without |
[02:58:46.54 -> 02:58:49.90] Unknown: without setting up the house with these smart lights, |
[02:58:50.08 -> 02:58:52.60] Unknown: and just says, turn my lights on, expect them to go on? |
[02:58:52.76 -> 02:58:53.08] Unknown: Oh, no. |
[02:58:53.38 -> 02:58:54.18] Unknown: I do. |
[02:58:54.42 -> 02:58:57.64] Unknown: You got to turn on the app, and then you got to go press the button on the hub. |
[02:58:58.04 -> 02:59:02.02] Unknown: I think there are people out there that buy this thing thinking they can put it in their kitchen |
[02:59:02.02 -> 02:59:06.44] Unknown: and ask them to turn the lights on and off and change channels on the TV. |
[02:59:06.60 -> 02:59:07.04] Unknown: Yeah, magic. |
[02:59:07.14 -> 02:59:08.14] Unknown: And flush your toilet. |
[02:59:08.97 -> 02:59:09.95] Unknown: Yeah, flush my toilet. |
[02:59:10.11 -> 02:59:11.05] Unknown: One thing about the toilet. |
[02:59:11.05 -> 02:59:11.29] Unknown: It's not flushing. |
[02:59:11.35 -> 02:59:12.89] Unknown: I don't want this thing's defective. |
[02:59:12.91 -> 02:59:13.97] Unknown: It's not flushing my toilet. |
[02:59:13.97 -> 02:59:19.65] Unknown: So that was a very gender-biased joke that they put in there about the toilet seat. |
[02:59:19.75 -> 02:59:21.53] Unknown: And I have something to say about that. |
[02:59:21.85 -> 02:59:25.57] Unknown: Having grown up with women, my sisters, my mom, women around me the whole time. |
[02:59:25.91 -> 02:59:26.39] Unknown: Yeah. |
[02:59:26.61 -> 02:59:27.91] Unknown: And lots of gay guys. |
[02:59:28.09 -> 02:59:29.63] Unknown: So they also sit down to pee. |
[02:59:29.71 -> 02:59:30.39] Unknown: A lot of them. |
[02:59:30.88 -> 02:59:31.66] Unknown: Not kidding. |
[02:59:32.90 -> 02:59:40.20] Unknown: The toilet, everyone, so instead of toilet seat up or down, there's a lid on the toilet. |
[02:59:40.34 -> 02:59:42.04] Unknown: And the lid is there for a reason. |
[02:59:42.12 -> 02:59:42.60] Unknown: One. |
[02:59:42.60 -> 02:59:46.54] Unknown: One, so when you walk in the bathroom, you don't look down the gaping shithole. |
[02:59:46.68 -> 02:59:48.54] Unknown: I mean, that's literally a shithole. |
[02:59:48.76 -> 02:59:50.04] Unknown: You close the lid. |
[02:59:50.16 -> 02:59:50.64] Unknown: It's nice. |
[02:59:50.82 -> 02:59:52.08] Unknown: You know, it's much nicer. |
[02:59:52.10 -> 02:59:53.70] Unknown: And you could just sit on it. |
[02:59:53.70 -> 02:59:56.10] Unknown: It's inviting, you know, just if you're hanging out there. |
[02:59:56.30 -> 02:59:57.48] Unknown: Yeah, you could sit on the lid. |
[02:59:57.58 -> 02:59:59.40] Unknown: And men and women, both. |
[03:00:00.11 -> 03:00:01.67] Unknown: Close the lid. |
[03:00:01.87 -> 03:00:04.49] Unknown: Both, and then the argument, there's no age-old argument. |
[03:00:04.73 -> 03:00:07.75] Unknown: And women do not have any standing to win this argument. |
[03:00:08.01 -> 03:00:09.41] Unknown: Everybody closes the lid. |
[03:00:09.49 -> 03:00:12.17] Unknown: Also, you close the lid before you flush. |
[03:00:12.41 -> 03:00:13.43] Unknown: Gee, I wonder why. |
[03:00:14.89 -> 03:00:17.39] Unknown: Do people, do they, I mean, I don't understand. |
[03:00:17.51 -> 03:00:22.71] Unknown: Like, oh, I'll flush it with the lid off so all the feces and shithole stuff comes up |
[03:00:22.71 -> 03:00:24.81] Unknown: and just spreads throughout your whole bathroom. |
[03:00:24.89 -> 03:00:25.45] Unknown: It's disgusting. |
[03:00:25.45 -> 03:00:31.91] Unknown: disgusting so you and this is an argument that a lot of our producers have with their partners |
[03:00:31.91 -> 03:00:38.50] Unknown: and spouses i think you made your point but i have to extend your point and this is a one of |
[03:00:38.50 -> 03:00:43.32] Unknown: the no agenda tips we've had numerous tips today including how to read the new york times on the |
[03:00:43.32 -> 03:00:52.86] Unknown: private browser um when you're on an airplane never flush that thing without the lid closed |
[03:00:52.86 -> 03:00:56.65] Unknown: Oh, no kidding. |
[03:00:56.67 -> 03:01:02.69] Unknown: Because it's an explosive flush mechanism that will splash all over the place if you're not careful. |
[03:01:04.28 -> 03:01:04.76] Unknown: Yeah. |
[03:01:06.31 -> 03:01:06.79] Unknown: Yes. |
[03:01:07.23 -> 03:01:10.05] Unknown: But also never flush it when you're sitting on it, guys. |
[03:01:11.40 -> 03:01:13.34] Unknown: You could have a very unfortunate accident. |
[03:01:13.40 -> 03:01:14.82] Unknown: The suction is tremendous. |
[03:01:15.48 -> 03:01:17.00] Unknown: And it could suck you out. |
[03:01:17.94 -> 03:01:21.82] Unknown: You wind up one of those blue balls of ice on someone's roof. |
[03:01:24.78 -> 03:01:25.48] Unknown: All right. |
[03:01:25.50 -> 03:01:25.78] Unknown: All right. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.