# 006. Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day

## 01. Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day - Part 1 ( Full Text )

### 001. Chapter 10 : BBQ

“They’re coming! Welcome to the fascinating place for buddies!!”

Under the shadows of the trees, the dark and thick smoke induced from the BBQ rose in spirals, covering the area.

Hisakawa was holding a circular fan, and his head was wrapped with a towel. Anjo and Tsurumi had already come. It was an ardous mystery of why we could gather so easily. Do they really have no friends at all? I couldn’t help unnecessarily worrying for them.

“Heheh, I’ve prepared the grill! A man lent it to me at my workplace!”

“Food? I only brought some German sausages…”

“I brought candles.”

“Heh?”

“Candles.”

Tsurumi brought a shopping bag in front. It was a heavy bag, and as she had said, it was filled with fragant candles.

“Aren’t we calling upon Menma? These props used in spiritual stories should be essential.”

“Ah. Oh…Then, where’s the food for BBQ?”

“I don’t really eat in the night. Don’t care for me.”

She was overly having her own way in doing things. Nevertheless, this was Tsurumi, she was like this before, but it didn’t seem this serious back then?

“Hey. Tsuruko-san only cares for herself. Oh but willful woman are of my liking!”

“What an idiot.”

“Ah. Because I thought everyone would bring food, and I was afraid I would buy repeated things, so…”

Seemed a bit embarrassed, Anjo opened the plastic bag she was holding on. Inside the bag was a cheap set of fireworks.

“Uh. What do you want to do with this?”

“Playing with fireworks? We aren’t children anymore.”

“What?!”

“Calm down, calm down, calm down! Everyone, settle down. We can stuff ourselves full with this!”

Having that said, Hisakwa opened the lid next to the grill. Inside was some bubbling, slimy liquid.

“This is called Kiru. It’s a sweet congee made of milk and rice!”

With her eyes gleaming, Menma looked at the liquid, speaking in astonishment, “Wa! It looks like vomit!”

“Don’t say such things that will spoil our appetite.”

I carelessly continued what Menma had said. With a “uh?”, Anjo looked at me surprisedly. And I quickly evaded her eyes in panic.

“All in all, this couldn’t be counted as a barbecue.”

“Should I make this into a teppanyaki ?”

“I’m good with just German sausages.”

Consequently, the ‘Menma Finding Meeting’ started at last.

Anjo was cutting the sausages.

Tsurumi was randomly placing candles between trees. And Hisakawa was regulating the fire of the oven.

We didn’t even speak, except for the ‘how are you doing’ shouts by Hisakawa from time to time. Nevertheless, out of my expectation, there was some kind of noiseness.

That was because of Menma.

Just then, Menma was going from here to there between people, asking ‘the sausages had to be cut to little crabs!’, or ‘Poppo, the fire is huge! It’s a big poppo, big poppo !!”

This noisiness covered the sense of disharmony among us who hadn’t worked together for ages.

It was a bit forced, lonely noisiness.

For the only one to hear this noisiness was I. Save I, no one could hear Menma.

“Hey, Yadomi.”

“Hah!”

When Tsurumi suddenly invited me to a conversation, my stomach twitched. Though from appearance, Anjo and Hisakwa had changed, for some reason, I thought Tsurumi was the person with the biggest change.

“You said you saw Menma…that Menma had come back. Are you speaking the truth?”

“Um? If you don’t believe it, why are you still coming?”

“Yeah? Because I want to find you for the answer.”

Tsurumi said peacefully. She didn’t look at me while she spoke, so what hid behind her eyes, including those feelings, I didn’t have that faintest idea…

“”What do you want to find me for…”

Rustle!

“!?”

There was a lot of noise at the woods behind. Everyone looked at the source of the sound, and they saw some white light shining out of the crevices between the trees.

I could almost hear who was gulping. At this moment, my mind became blank: is this…

“Menma?”

But Menma is at my side? When I murmured in my subconscious…

“Yo.”

Walking out from there, Matsuyuki lightly waved his hand.

“Eh…What, so it was Yukiatsu!!”

The tense atmosphere softened at an instant. Tsurumi seemed to have closed her eyes slightly.

“I brought some steak and also a few varieties of vegetables. There are also spice and olive oil…”

“Oh yeah! You’re surely Yukiatsu! You’re completely different from those useless women!”

“What are you saying?!”

Listening to Hisakawa and Anjo’s quarrel, I heaved a sigh. The other Menma…I could really believe in such a thing—how dumb.

Yes. No one, save Hisakawa, would believe in Menma’s existence…

“Ah. But you really freaked me out! I thought Menma would really run out…”

“If you’re talking about Menma, I saw her just a while ago.”

Matsuyuki said something astonishing with a light-hearted tone. His tone was so natural that one couldn’t even notice what he was saying.

“Menma?!”

But Hisakawa caught his words that were drifting away.

If you’re talking about Menma, I saw her just a while ago.

“What?”

“Heh? Menma is here?”

I couldn’t help turning around to look at Menma, who was looking at me too. Yes. Menma was here. The thing was…

“You’re lying!”

“Really? Where’s her? Where’s Menma?”

“There. At the lawn.”

“Waah! So there’s another Menma…let’s go have a look, Jintan!!”

Menma had already dashed away. “Ah…” at the moment of my hesitation, Hisakawa raced behind her frantically.

“Wuaghh! Menma, wait for me! I’ll give you some German sausages!”

“Ah, Wait!”

“Hey.”

There was an icy voice behind my back, freezing my steps that were about to leave. The corner of Matsuyuki’s mouth showed a soft smile.

“Seems that it isn’t only you who can see Menma.”

“What?!”

What was his smile supposed to mean?

Matsuyuki…did you…did you really see Menma…?

“Hey. Jintan! Let’s quickly find her!”

“Ah. Okay!”

Being hurried by Hisakawa, I also ran away. Since some time I was unaware of, the sweat covering on my skin had splitted apart like a film: one layer that belonged to others, and one mine. Every kind of sophisticated feeling was sticked on my body like glue, making me maximally displeased.

### 002. Chapter 11 : Labyrinth in the Dark Woods

“Menma. Where are you!!”

As he called for Menma, Tetsudo thought, it would be great if Jinta could sing with him…but this wish, sadly, cannot be granted.

Jinta and Naruko were gone already.

Sigh, this is great already, Tetsudo thought. To have Jinta still willing to mention Menma was already the greatest of all.

Back then Jinta was everyone’s leader.

Jinta was also the one who brought Tetsudo, with a thin and small body, and dumb, into Super Peace Busters. Jinta was very smart, and he excelled in sports, like a glittering hero. He would also speak to Tetsudo with a smile as brilliant as sunflowers in the summer.

“Your nickname...because you’re called Tetsudo…let’s call you Poppo!”

Poppo. This nickname to Tetsudo, who was often neglected in the class, was undoubtedly a new name that signified a fresh start.

He knew about Jinta’s unattendance in high school.

But he thought this unimportant. There are many more things out there in the world, and Jinta could see them.

Then, when they met again after five years, Jinta completely assented his idea.

He said Menma’s name once again.

This was more important than anything to Tetsudo. It didn’t matter if Menma truly existed or was just a hallucination.

Something that had always been clinging to ‘Menma’ in Jinta’s heart was being brought out. And as such, the Super Peace Busters gathered together again.

Jinta was indeed still everyone’s captain. From Tetsudo’s perspective, he was the strongest and eternal hero.

He just wanted to cry out loud—to cry out loud in his heart the name of Menma.

“Menma. Menma!”

As Tetsudo cried, Menma also followed him and cried. This name, Menma, reverberated in the dark woods. The light coming from Tetsudo’s flashlight reflected on Menma’s chest, coagulating into a shadow.

Menma could, from Tetsudo’s calling her own name, feel the happiness and joy of being one of the Super Peace Busters, albeit she shouldn’t exist here. She was also afraid for herself now wasn’t one of the Super Peace Busters.

Happy, yet afraid—it wasn’t an even split: the happiness was the major part. After all, it was a joyful event to be with everyone here.

“Hey. Menma-san!!”

Tetsudo could call upon her name. This was indeed some source of her happiness.

“Menma!!”

Meiko also cried, cryiny out without attention something sunk deep in her heart, and spewing it out.

“Haah…Haah.”

As Naruko ran, she thought wanderingly.

(Why would I follow them when I am wearing high-heel shoes…)

Every time she stepped on the uneven road, her high-heel shoes would sprain her ankle— at least let me change into platform shoes .

Not only her high-heel shoes but also her clothes and nails had been armed. A band with poor elasticity bound her ankle, giving her the feeling of being strapped tightly. She now could let her become more confident, stand before people, and face their eyes. She now could get along with her early-maturing friends without being timid…

Nevertheless, does she really need to arm herself in front of the Super Peace Busters? She didn’t know.

Besides, she gradually forgot the reason why she was running. Naruko didn’t believe in Jinta’s words. In fact, everyone didn’t. It was just Atsumu trying to tease Jinta, for he didn’t like him from the very start. And Chiriko’s thoughts were hard to understand no matter when. Back then she was already an early-maturing child who would look at things from a side imperturbably. And Tetsudo maybe…truly believed in him.

(But…even if this was the case, isn’t this awful?)

The first one to propose was perhaps Jinta.

But if it wasn’t Tetsudo who cohered to him, Atsumu who fanned the flames, and Chiriko who neglected it…the one being manipulated would actually be Jinta.

Right, Jinta was the real victim, Naruko thought in some part of her heart.

Although she threw a tantrum at Jinta at the workplace for his saying Menma’s name, her anger wasn’t simply because Jinta would say a deceased person’s name so esaily, but also some subtle thoughts she had.

Jinta could see Menma.

If this was the truth—of course, the truth looking at it from some perspective—then every one in Little Peace Busters who had been playing around with Jinta’s feelings was unforgivable. This certainly included herself. She knew she shouldn’t have joined in such a despiteful act.

But she would always let the people around her to affect her.

Jinta’s back was fluttering in her eyes, and she want to cease his back. If she let him off, he would get hurt…why would he even bear such serious pain when he was already riddled with scars?

“Hey!”

Her shouting voice was louder than she expected. The face Jinta had when he turned his head, at that moment, always seemed to have a slight open in his lips…just like those days. Naruko’s heart thumped greatly. She uttered quickly as she was afraid of the shame that her heartbeat would be heard.

“D-Don’t you think that what we’re doing are too dumb?”

(No…this wasn’t it)

“You said you saw Menma. That was just Matsuyuki’s joke…if you…if you stop mentioning Menma, then everyone can…”

(This wasn’t what I wanted to say!)

The things she wanted to say in her heart and the things she spoke couldn’t be in synch with her feelings. Perhaps it was just a slight deviation in her tone, but what that meant was completely different.

Jinta said in an obviously unhappy tone.

“Then why are you coming along?”

“That’s because…”

Jinta stopped saying anything and left.

Undoubtedly, she didn’t want to anger him. When Naruko stepped on to catch him, but for her unappropriate armour, her clothes scratched with something buldgy on the floor with a subtle angle.

“Ah?!”

She couldn’t help screaming. She was about to fall, but right at the next instant…

“Anjo?!”

Jinta who had ran back in a few steps fiercely caught hold of Naruko’s hands, catching her from the back.

Naruko’s ears reddened…

“T-Thanks! Sor…”

“Stop kidding.”

Naruko’s words were interrupted with a low voice. It was a male voice that had undergone the adolescent change of voice.

(Yadomi’s hands…are trembling?)

“Are you an idiot?”

At this moment did Naruko noticed that the ground she was stepping on was beside a dark and deep valley.

This was a scene she hadn’t seen but had imagined for a few many times.

It was the place where Meiko’s sandals floated.

“Yadomi…”

“If you really…not only Menma but you would also…”

The man’s words gave her hears a hot sensation. The trembling hands that were grasping to her wrists…his tensed fingers…

“You’ve grown.”

“Huh?”

Still unconscious, Naruko’s body had lost the strength that had been holding onto her.

Merely this could puff out some sweetness in her heart and body…Maruko said along her light breathing patterns.

“Hey. Did you really, really see Menma?”

“Uh…”

“Actually, you really like Menma, right?”

“What?!” Jinta came back to his senses, and violently let go of Naruko’s wrists, but Naruko still continued, “because you really like her, so you would see things that actually didn’t exist…”

“You, you….”

Ascribed to Jinta’s waver, a hot, damp feeling shot from the bottom of her eyes.

She didn’t believe it, but…

“Um...if you can see Menma, then take good care of her. Although I don’t know why, I ask for your help…”

“Anjo…”

His words completely matched her feelings. It was not only for Meiko but also Jinta…she also hoped she could treat her gently.

Some warmth of Jinta’s palm still remained on Naruko’s wrist, sticking to her skin like a scar. She thought herself as useless for becoming so heated up just because of some contact with him.

Without even blinking, Chiriko looked at Atsumu roasting the meat he brought. The steak needs to be turned over, otherwise it would be burnt, Chiriko thought. Atsumu who looked steay was surely preoccupied.

However, she didn’t remind him. She wanted to let him experience the failure of burning it.

“Ah.”

The colour of the smoke changed. Atsumu who frantically turned the meat gave out a small cry.

“Indeed. You rarely cook, yet you brought these things to act cool.”

Atsumu groaned.

“I think it’s bad for you to speak in a way as if you have seen through people.”

“Where’s it bad?”

“You won’t be popular among boys.”

“Thanks for your care.”

Among the Super Peace Busters, only Atsumu and Chiriko still had a friendly relation. Although they said everyone had good feelings and never left each other, but in this group, there are disparities in how strong the feelings are. And at that time, the weakest feelings perhaps belonged to Atsumu and Chiriko.

What was Atsumu thinking? Chiriko was thinking. If she could see through him…at some level she knew how Atsumu thought, but when she wanted to have a deeper look, the focus would be lost, and everything would beome blurry.

As their ages grew and as the distance of a friend grew, she gradually couldn’t see what a person Atsumu is. Every now and then at this moment, Chiriko would increase the prescription of her glasses.

If she could see through him…

“Stop messing around.”

“Huh?”

Chiriko couldn’t reply to Atsumu’s soft words.

That, you see, was because she couldn’t look through him again.

Atsumu lifted his head.

Along with the burnt meat and the roasted smoke, the flames of the candles swayed in the gloomy greyness, shining upon Tetsudo and the others who came back dismayed of failing to find Menma.

Jinta and Naruko was a bit of a distance apart…

“What. Menma’s not here! Yukiatsu!”

“…”

Atsumu stared straightly at Jinta.

Beside him was Meiko, who had been making him flighty and impetuous. Of course, Atsumu wasn’t aware of Meiko’s presence.

“Hey. Yukiatsu. Is the meat roasted?”

Meiko called Atsumu by his nickname.

The honey-sweet voice he longed was near him, yet Atsumu wasn’t aware of this. He just plainly stared at Jinta.

Jinta didn’t go to school. His hair had grown, but his height wasn’t much different. Still, he had a cool feeling.

Perhaps it was the truth, or perhaps it was just an effect of past memory that Jinta appeared like this in Atsumu’s eyes, however the reason…

(He was repugnant.)

Atsumu glared at Jinta. Noticing Atsumu’s eyes, Jinta also glared back at him, but he didn’t stay for so long and soon averted his eyes.

(I won…)

I had to make out the winner and the loser like a kid, but why?

Why do I have no such feeling of winning—why was this?

“Hey. The precious meat are burnt!”

“The second round is coming. Wait for a moment.”

As I looked at Matsuyuki Matsuyuki sprinkled the salt and pepper on the meat, I threw into my mouth those crab-sized German sausages thoughtlessly.

It had been some time already and the cold German sausages taste oily.

How repugnant…everything, including this damp night, was repugnant.

Matsuyuki was roasting some other meat expresionlessly.

He said he saw Menma…with such calmness.

Undoubtedly, he must have lied to us. What was he planning—how useless. If he were to play an act, at least play to the end…

“Speaking of which, you’ve gone too far, Yukiatsu! You act so calm and refuse to come with us…”

“Uh?”

Matsuyuki stopped his hand that was turning the meat, and said lightly and peacefully, “When Menma appeared in front of me, she asked me to tell us to stop messing around.”

“Uh…?”

Matsuyuki was staring at me, with that smile that only belonged to the corner of his mouth—he was trying me again with those disgusting eyes.

“Eh? Did Menma say this?”

Standing beside me, Menma cocked her head in astonishment.

So this was the case…what was he planning—that bastard.

He joined this BBQ just to scoff at me? And bought so expensive meat just for this?

“Taking her wish as an excuse to capriciously fool around is perhaps just giving trouble to Menma.”

Matsuyuki looked at me, seemingly wanting to continue.

“Stop, Matsuyuki!”

Everyone had noticed Matusyuki’s intention, and Anjo looked even more unstable than Matsuyuki or I.

“Menma wouldn’t want this to happen, right? Five years have already past, yet we’re still reluctant to leave.”

“Oi, Yukiatsu, you…!”

“Mmm..”

“I am already introspecting myself. Although I carelessly joined Yadomi in this, Menma would definitely feel unhappy for this.”

“…”

“Yadomi. You’re such a poor thing. Menma’s not here, and you don’t even go to school. How deplorable…”

“Jintan!”

Menma stared at me with her round eyes.

I had already become a sandbag. I don’t care what you say.

“But, when you do such senseless things, the real one who’s poor isn’t you but Menma…”

I couldn’t understand Matsuyuki’s feelings. Did he hate me because I said that to Menma that day?

“That’s wrong!!”

I looked at Menma.

Menma shook her head potently—not to me but everyone.

“That’s wrong! Who’s poor…Although Menma don’t understand, and don’t know why I would be here…there are many, many scary things out there and many places I’m not sure of, but…!”

When I came to my senses, Menma had already been crying.

Her face was cried to a mess, and her fists tightly clenched.

“When everyone could gather together…when everyone could think of Menma’s things, this was undoubtedly the reason of my happiness!”

“Ah!”

“Hey. Yadomi. You should forget about Menma already. Stop letting her stuck in your mind…”

“No! That’s nonesense…that’s nonesense!”

Her voice couldn’t reach Matsuyuki’s ears, yet she still continued to rebuke him.

“Even if Menma died…Menma still hopes everyone could be good friends! So…”

As if casting off her tears, Menma vibrantly lifted her head.

“So, stop quarreling for Menma!!”

“Hey. You.”

“Uh…Yadomi?”

Hey. You—I carelessly let it slip off my mouth.

Stop quareling…stop qaurreling for Menma. Do you have to worry for us to this date?

Your will was drivelled by others, your denying unheard, and your words unable to be sent.

Aren’t you the one who was hurt the most?

“Heh…It seems like you have something to say, Yadomi?”

Matsuyuki wore a provocative smile.

I had to say something.

“Ah…ah…”

What I wanted to say were beyond numbers.

However, the words seemed to be stuck firmly on the depths of my throat. No matter what I say, I would be reckoned as an idiot.

I don’t want this to happen.

This wasn’t because I lost my qualification as a leader, for I didn’t care about that thing long ago.

This was because Menma was here. Perhaps she was only my hallucination, but she was, in fact, here, and her eyes were welled with tears, her shoulders trembling. I didn’t want her to scoff at me.

No matter what I say, Matsuyuki would want to destroy me elatedly, however, his pain, or should I say, my pain, would hurt Menma even more. So…

“Hey. Yadomi. What’s the matter? You don’t have anything to say now?”

“That’s enough! Yukiatsu!!”

At the moment Hisakawa wanted to grab Matsuyuki by the arm…

“…”

Menma suddenly ran as if she had made her mind.

“Uh…?”

She ran to the bag of fireworks Anjo had put on the floor, and stretched her hand inside…

“Believe in me!” As she cried, she tore off the wrapper.

“Uh?!”

Everyone wasn’t aware of it at the start.

But when I started to scream, they followed the direction of my eyes and lost their ability to speak like I.

“What?!”

“Ehhhh?!”

Having found their voices, they made an extremely normal voie of people who met summer ghost stories first-handedly.

In front of my eyes, Menma opened the fireworks and took out a piece. I could see her, but they…

“What’s that? Why is the firework rod moving by itself?”

“Hey, Yadomi! Stop joking, what mechanism is this?”

Even Matsuyuki had a tensed face, his voice going crazy.

“Stop playing around…Stop it, Menma!!”

Actually I noticed this from the start. Menma could touch anything. Could hallucinations touch things? No, it didn’t matter whether it was a hallucination now.

If that was the case, then the evidence of Menma’s existence are limitless.

But I didn’t want that to happen.

Menma had been our pal. Even now, she was our pal. She had the same soft smile she had at that time. She would always say ‘yo’ or ‘bobobo’ like a kid.

It was the spirit that was right for the summer…I didn’t want to let the Super Peace Busters to look at her like that.

“Menma!!”

But Menma didn’t stop. She didn’t care whether they would be scared of her, or mistook her. She lightly put the rod in her hand near the candles Tsurumi had prepared for the spirit stories.

Seee…

Following the striking sound as fast as bubbles in soft drinks, the leading-line of the rod was ignited.

“!!”

In front of everyone, Menma swung her rod through the air.

The light’s trace pierced through the darkness.

It brought back the memories of that summer.

Everyone added their pocket money together and bought some fireworks. For children were restricted from playing fire, they would want to do it more when they are restricted, as they would become excited when doing bad things. Therefore, everyone waited for the sky to darken.

It was the same on that day: the rod was ignited with a ‘seee’ sound like the bubbling of soft drinks. Looking at the fiery rod, everyone cried out in joy.

“Wuagh! Excellent, Jintan! It’s round! Round!”

We were indeed children. Looking merely at the fascinating fire rod wasn’t fun. We swung the fire rod around and drew endless light traces in the dark. I swiftly twisted my wrist and drew a few circles in mid-air, and when Menma saw me doing this…

“Guess what this is!”

She swung her fire rod and drew a strange figure.

“What’s that, eight?”

“Ah, is that infinity?”

Tsurumi was right. Menma nodded her head in happiness.

“That’s right. It’s the symbol for infinity!”

“Eheh. What’s infinity?”

“Don’t you know, Popo? Infinity is the meaning for on and on till forever.”

Menma nodded again to Matsuyuki’s explanation.

“That’s it! This is us—the Super Peace Busters!”

And then, she suddenly wore a smiling face.

“It means that we are best friends for on and on till forever!!”

“…Menma.”

A flower was drawn by the traces of the fire rod in the darkness.

This flower was made by the repeated swinging of Menma’s fire rod, repeatingly telling us the meaning of ‘best friends’.

“Ah…”

Everyone who was originally scared…looked at it and started to remember the things at that time; their faces also relieved.

It wasn’t the face of seeing summer ghost stories first-handedly.

It wasn’t simply astonishment and puzzlement.

“It’s really…Menma.”

Just when Anjo murmured in her subconscious…

“…Who’s kidding!!”

When Matsuyuki roared, Menma’s actions stopped.

“Yukiatsu…?”

“Who’s kidding? What is this? I don’t believe it! I will never believe it!”

Matsuyuki’s roaring sounds reverberated in the dark woods.

His fretful and restless footsteps left gradually. No one stopped him: everyone only listened quietly to his leaving footstep sounds.

Matsuyuki’s voice disappeared. The buzzing sounds of summer insects dominated nearby places again, but everyone was still silent.

This silence represented everyone believed in Menma. This silence declared this truth with the loudest voice.

The fire rod in Menma’s hand had burnt to the end while we weren’t noticing.

“Jintan.”

Menma smiled to me. It was the same unsightly, acidulous smile she had on that day.

“Sorry.”

She apologised to me for a reason I didn’t know.

### 003. Chapter 12 : The Common Trauma

Zip zip…

In the secret base, the insects flew around the lamp, making flapping sounds—this was the only sound in this quite room.

Tetsudo, Chiriko, and Naruko didn’t make a sound. Atsumu had left. Jinta and Meiko had also left.

Jinta left with Meiko?

For they witnessed the drawing of the fire rod, this unprecedented experience, they believed in Meiko’s existence.

However, as time passed, they began to be uncertain. They was skeptical of whether what they saw was authentic.

“Menma…Is she really out there?” Naruko commenced with a slightly trembling voice Chiriko replied, “do you know what mass hallucinations are?”

“Mass hallucinations?”

“It is because we have the same trauma that we saw the same thing.”

The same trauma—Chiriko’s words comforted Naruko.

Until now, she was enduring the pain all by herself. Although it was maybe not exactly the case, the part where everyone could not communicate, was made in synch by the trauma.

“Perhaps…yeah. Perhaps.”

Having repeated two ‘perhaps’, Naruko calmed down.

This was because if she really believed it, that would mean…

“Are you idiots?”

Naruko and Chiriko raised their heads abruptly.

“Why don’t you believe this? There is no way she couldn’t be Menma.”

“But, but…”

“Isn’t this our chance?”

“Eh…”

Tetsudo showed a serious expression that hadn’t ever appeared in the memories of the two girls.

“If Menma’s here, then we can apologise to her for everything. Isn’t this great?”

This thought matched miraculously with the thought Jinta had yesterday —though Tetsudo didn’t know this.

“Yes. Apologise…yeah…”

Naruko was touched by Tetsudo’s words. If she could apogloise, then the inevitable feelings she had carried with her so long could…

“Why should we apologise?”

Chiriko asked calmly.

“Do you even have to…”

“Is it your fault that Menma’s dead?”

“!!”

Naruko was speechless. She couldn’t refute her.

“Stop this, Tsuruko!!”

“…”

“It isn’t anyone’s fault. It isn’t Anaru’s fault either. You’re acting so strange! At that time, I…also did my best…that…hey, hey!”

Chiriko left before letting him finish. Tetsudo looked at Naruko in panic.

“Hey, Anaru…”

“Stop calling me Anaru.”

Having heard this response, his heart a bit more assured…but at the next moment, Tetsudo’s heart began to chew on Chiriko’s words again.

(Why should we apologise?)

There were many things he wanted to apologise. To name one, it was of her death.

But, why should we apologise…like what Chiriko had said, there weren’t specific things to apologise.

(What am I doing?)

Chiriko pondered aimlessly while strolling on the neck of the bridge

Who was hurt? And who hurt him?

(This time, I hurt Anjo.)

No, it wasn’t me. The thing that really hurt her must be…

Chiriko believed that Meiko’s death was Naruko’s fault—such kind of Naruko’s thought.

This was because this thought was the same thought she had repeated in her heart for numerous times.

(Everyone had to be hurt.)

She wasn’t an exception.

Atsumu stood in a dark room.

It was a room without any decoration, a room that gave account to the fact that Atsumu didn’t have any hobbies. There weren’t any games, magazines or anything that youngsters would like. Even things pertaining to adults’ interest were absent, for example: western music CDs, mountains of plain-text books.

But this room was filled with Atsumu’s suffocating persistance. Atsumu stood in the room, without speaking a word or moving an inch…

Bam!

Suddenly, as if reaching his endurance limit, Atsumu kicked away a chair.

He bent his body, clenched his fists, and throw blows at the wall again and again. The pure pain made him more irascible. He wanted even more sharp pain, pain that would let him forget the pain on his chest.

“Who’s kidding…who’s kidding!!”

He couldn’t soothen his anger.

Atsumu’s mind was filled with Jinta’s flauting attitude.

(Who do you think you are…don’t be kidding. That’s just some mechanism. That’s just some trick anyone is capable of. Who do you think you are? You’re nobody. You’re nobody. You’re nobody. You’re nobody!)

Every time he thought of htim, his blood would seem to boil.

(You don’t qualify to mention Menma!)

Even if Menma really existed, why is he the only one who could see her?

What stupid thing was this? Even if it wasn’t a spirit but just a hallucination of a homeless dog with its mind went wrong, he couldn’t permit such things to happen.

That’s right: only he couldn’t be forgiven. He couldn’t be forgiven for anything that has to do with Menma. As Atsumu was pushed to the edge by his thoughts, he couldn’t make a line between what he should do and what he shouldn’t.

For he couldn’t make a line, he opened the door.

Then, he called upon ‘Menma’.

“Come out, Menma…”

It was different from what Jinta had seen, but perhaps it was the same summer spirit that Tetsudo had seen.

“Menma…”

Lightly and gently, he embraced her in his arms. He softly caressed her thin, hard hair. He wanted to speak the words of love, but there wasn’t enough time. Yes, time was running out.

“They’re too miserable to be fooled by that trick. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t forgive them. Menma, I even accepted their nonesense as true. This is the evidence I had almost forgotten you…”

I would never let you become lonely again.

Atsumu made up his mind: I would keep your lonlieness company.

### 004. Chapter 13 : The Summer Recluse

I burnt a mosquito-repellent incense. A strand of smoke gradually floated, and flew around the damp living room.

“Mmmah. That’s so fragrant. Menma thinks that the smell of mosquito-repellent incense is the best smell in the world!”

Menma was aberrantly excited when I returned home. It was blatant she was just pretending to be joyous, so my look tensed under the action of my subconscious.

Perhaps, Menma was very wary of my look. I have no means to reproach her for this, yet she sang out the happy things happened today.

“Ah…ah. Menma wants to look at Menma. Too bad!”

“…”

“Will Menma Luigi wear the same green dress? Ah, but Menma doesn’t have a bit of red.”

Everyone believed in the presence of Menma.

As I had imagined, everyone changed their faces and didn’t talk after that. They left without leaving a word about Menma. It seemed like they at least believed what I said, like Hisakawa.

“Will Menma Luigi get taller than Menma Mario?”

Even she freaked me out at first. There was no way around.

I could see Menma and talk with her. That was the reason I could accept her presence. But even if I said Menma was there, perhaps to they, who couldn’t see spirits, will imagine Menma as a zombie who was incessantly throwing off flesh bits.

She drew ‘infinity’ in the air. At that time, the Menma they knew wasn’t their best friend, Menma they had in their memories.

It was a spirit.

“If Menma Luigi is a quiet beauty, then will Jintan think Menma Luigi is better?”

If they would take her as a spirit—to take her as something with obvious bias—I rather let them reckon Menma as just as my hallucination.

Yes, I hated the fact that she was crowned by another name.

I hated her being crowned by any name other than Menma.

“Hey, Jintan?”

“Ah…eh? What?”

“You’re not listening to what I’m saying! Hmph. I’m telling you…Menma Mario...”

“…Menma, let me ask you.”

“Ah! You’re asking me questions again! You didn’t even reply to what I said!”

“Why…should I apologise?”

“!”

Fu. Menma lowered her head.

She thought about it with her head lowered for a while, then slowly, bit by bit, she replied in a soft voice as if unwrapping a messy bundle.

“Menma is better of being secluded.”

“Eh…”

Being secluded?

“When I returned home, mother gave Menma…she put curry on Menma’s shrine.”

“Ah…”

Menma’s face became wan.

Menma had returned home. This wasn’t any thing inconceviable. But why was she saying this with such a tone and such a lamentable face?

“Mum said Menma is a bit stupid, so she might return home. Mum acting like this will surely make father, Satori, and everyone sad.”

Menma said while she clenched the palms put on her kneecap, trying her best to cease the tears rushing into her eyes.

Why did I ask such a cruel question? I wanted to switch our topic immediately, but I knew I must listen to Menma when I saw her trying to weave some words while trembling.

“So, Menma thinks that perhaps it’s better to let everyone feel that Menma is already dead and have returned to heaven.”

“…”

“This is because no one could see Menma. So, Menma thinks that it’s better to be secluded.”

Ahah…I sighed.

She was always like this. She said words of fools, did acts of idiots, yet her behaviour was always embedded with the care to her surroundings.

She observed how everyone felt and looked, even when she would become the clown.

“As a result, I did that carelessly. I told everyone I was here. I even ignited the fire rod. If I don’t let them see it when they shouldn’t…everything would certiainly…”

Tears affluently rushed out from Menma’s eyes out of her control.

But, Menma, aren’t you very strange now? That is because…

“You couldn’t be a recluse.”

“Jintan…”

“This is because I can still see you. I’ve already believed in your presence; I can’t believe more.”

“Ah!”

Menma looked at me as if seeing something peculiar, such as a spirit, staring at me blankly.

“I’m very happy,” Menma murmured in a quiet, surprised voice.

“I’m turning the lights off.”

“Okay. Goodnight!”

Menma slept on the bed, and thus I had to sleep on the sofa. I chose another pose to sleep today—my waist aches.

The only light in the dark room was the moonlight spilled through the curtains. The moonlight gently and hazily fell on Menma’s white shoulders.

Was the moonlight that bright?

My recent life was basically playing games until I fall asleep…twenty-four seven. The lights in the house were always turned on. I didn’t even turn them off even in days when they are not needed.

The flashy fluorescent light always glittered at the dark me, but now…

The natural and gentle brightness covered Menma…

“Jintan.”

“Eh…?”

Lying on her side, Menma spoke to me with her back facing me.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What is it? Ahah. Do you have to ask Menma Mario?”

“School. Are you not going to school because of Menma?”

“…”

So soft was the sound that it was about to disappear. What was that?

“Are you very mindful of what Matsuyuki said?”

Matsuyuki did say that I didn’t go to school because of Menma’s absence, but I didn’t have the stamina to bother about every word he said after being said so many bad things by him.

“Yeah. But… but this isn’t because of you.”

I didn’t know what the reason was.

Menma was gone. Mum was gone. I failed my exams. There were so many reasons for refusing to go to school, but…

“…This is because I hate to be bothered. That’s all.”

“Yes. Oh…”

Menma turned around, the blanket curling around her leg. She looked at me with her eyes flashing with a mischevious beam.

“Ah. Perhaps, this is Menma wish? It’s to hope Jintan could go to school!” She said with a playful tone.

“I’m telling you. You’re exploiting your wish just to weave reasons.”

“Hehe…”

Menma had a bright smile that was obviously pretended.

I spoke as if I wanted to get away with another possibility of mentioning the things that happened in school…

“Well then. Goodnight for real!”

“Yeah. Goodnight.”

After a while, Menma’s breathing patterns became regular and long.

A lot of things had changed while Menma wasn’t here.

My age, height was different from then.

The friendship of the Super Peace Busters was also different. But it would be great if only a bit…no, it would be great if we could be as close as back then.

“Eheh. Jinta-kun. What’s the matter?”

The living room was filled with the morning air. During this time, I rarely would wake up before dad goes to work…and I was even wearing my high school uniform. Dad glared at me while I walked downstairs.

“No. Nothing. Nothing special.”

“No. Nothing.”

Dad repeated what I had said like a parrot mimicing the words of someone. Although he pretended as if nothing had happened, he looked fidgeting apparently.

“H-Have you eaten your breakfast?”

“Yeah. No.”

“Is that so? But, eat somehitng. Oh, there’s some sour milk.”

“Okay…”

I directly walked to the sink and spread a thick paste of toothpaste on my toothbrush. After all, I just wanted to use some stimuli to get away with things that had happened in the past.

I could see dad was preparing for his work through the mirror. He was indeed restless, spying at me occasionaly, and then averting his eyes away when he met his eyes with mine on the mirror.

“Pat.”

I spat the peppermint-flavoured saliva out of my mouth.

I was going to school, yet dad seemed not so happy about it.

Having seen dad’s response, I was even sure I had given him much trouble. At that time, when I said I didn’t want to go to school, he must have been very puzzled…

“Wuaghh!”

Suddenly, Menma was kneeling down beside my feet.

“Eh. Jinta-kun?”

“Ah…No. Nothing.”

“This again? You alien from planet No-nothing!”

Exploiting the fact that dad couldn’t hear her voice, Menma spoke to me loudly as usual. I could only reply softly, “You woke up so early…”

“Menma was joking.”

“Heh?”

Joking—Menma stared at me and said sternly this unappropriate word.

“Menma was joking yesterday about having a wish for Jintan to go to school.”

“Eh…”

“It’s fine if you don’t. Don’t push yourself so hard.”

As if about to cry, yet trying to provoke me…Sigh. I’m fed up with her already.

“Idiot.”

I lightly poked Menma’s forehead from an angle dad couldn’t see.

“Ah!”

“I just think it’s about time I get to school. It’s the same as I not going to school: there isn’t any specific reason.”

“Jintan…”

I definitely would fulfill Menma’s wish.

Of course, I don’t reckon that Menma’s wish was for me to go to school. After all, this had nothing to do with ‘everyone’.

But, if I don’t do anything, I’ll get restless and impatient.

I wanted to be more like myself back then. That’s it.

The elongated, nasty, disturbing buzzing sounds of cicadas mixed with the disturbing, iditoic laughing sounds of some blokes. In this ensemble, the voices of those blokes were even advantagous.

The road to school was so short. I gasped in surprise. Of course, this wasn’t that surprising. After all, the times I had gone to school aside from the few times for examination were just few and far between.

I really didn’t want to go. The more I thought, the faster I got there.

My neck was burnt under the sun so tensely it hurt. Ahah. My sweat is trickling.

Every face of the students passing by seemed familiar to me, yet I felt I had never seen them before. Recognizing people by their faces wasn’t that useful. Right. Wasn’t it better if I didn’t recognize them while I entered the school? Let me just take these noises as a pointless chunk of sound.

I stopped unconsciously while I tried to recognize everyone’s face.

“…Hot. It’s hot. It’s so hot…”

I repeated this same thing again and again.

I was bound to be thought as a weird guy, someone talking to himself over there. However, it couldn’t be helped. If I don’t say anything, the information invading my ears would be too much I could handle.

“Oh look. Isn’t he Yadomi?”

“!!”

Striking out from that chunk of sound was some middle-aged woman with her throat buldged with fat.

I couldn’t help but to turn around, happening to see two women, which I seemed to know yet I seemed didn’t.

“You’re coming to school. Bravo! Bravo!”

Perhaps it was of for I faced directly at them, their vague faces became clear. I could recognize of them was someone that studied at my adajcent class when I was still in middle school.

They should be Anjo’s friends by now. But, they didn’t seem to this black before? Why the heck would they blacken themselves? It was the colour of roasted pork.

“Uh? You don’t look quite right?”

“…”

I glared at her in a bad mood. Stop speaking to me, I tried to imply to her.

The roasted pork seemed to back off a bit, but…

“Rest assured. Rest assured. No one would care if you just didn’t come for a semester, or should I say, no would would care about Yadomi.”

“Ahahaha!”

An even louder voice came in.

What the heck are they doing? This roasted pork and that nobody—what are they scheming? Do they want to make fun of me? Or are they…

“Morning…?!”

“Ah. You’ve come. Naruko.”

“Yadomi!”

Oh my, Anjo came at the worst moment. She looked at me; my breathing went stuck.

I couldn’t imagine this would happen after all that time we had been toegether yesterday. I also remembered I even grabbed her by the wrist.

But, when I saw her in front of this unfamiliar school…

“But, so to speak, isn’t the power of love too magnificent? That’s all because you ran an errand to his house!”

“What?!”

“It’s so hot! It’s a blazingly hot love!!”

The pork chop girl and that nobody ranted all day long. Flustered, Anjo said, “stop it! Who would want this kind of a person to…ah!”

Flashing her eyes, Anjo looked at the ‘this kind of a person’, I. I, this kind of a person, must have been had his lips trembling crazily…I’m helpless.

But, I don’t plan to be helpless forever.

“Hot. That’s what it was…”

“Eh?”

I quickly spun my mind around. I was spinning my mind to find the right words to destroy them.

“It was all for this heat that made me dizzy. I wouldn’t even have a smallest eager to come to this place almost…like a dumb zoo!”

I screwed it up.

“Ahaha! You bit your tongue!”

“This guy even bit his tongue when he’s trying to act cool!”

My face reddened, and my ears heated up.

“Ah…Yadomi!!”

I ran away. Why would I always run away from things?

It was so hot. My ears were blazing hot. The laughing sounds chased me.

But, there were no sounds from Anjo among those laughing sounds, though it was pointless to have noticed this.

Whatever that may mean,I had no companions here.

“…sigh.”

I leant on the long bench in the park, the rough wood surface hanging my shirt. A dense canopy of green stretched across and over my head.

I used to play in this park, although there weren’t much amusement facilities, making it a boring park for children. It was a place where old men would play croquet.

It was a rod that looked like a wooden rod but much thicker. All of us wanted to touch it and play with it.

As a result, the old men told us this was a sport only for old people. Stamping her feat and yearning, Menma said, “I hope to quickly become an old woman!”

“Menma…I didn't go to school.”

I murmured to myself reluctantly.

When I was small, if someone doesn’t come to school, I would think it would be all right if those normal ones would still come. However, the truth wasn’t that simple. During my half-year of deferring my studies, my body became used to being alone, being unable to handle the eyes of others…

“It’s fine if you don’t. Don’t push yourself so hard.”

“…”

Damn it.

I felt as if Menma had seen through all my thoughts and feelings. Perhaps she had also foreseen half of the fact that I didn’t go to school at last and ran here.

I couldn’t transform back to myself at that time…Menma knew it already.

“…”

I would never admit such a thing.

I could also foresee Menma’s behaviour. If I return home now, she would definitely come out to greet me with a smile printed on her face.

Even if I didn’t go to school, Menma wouldn’t have a word about it. She was that kind of a person who would just plainly accept it.

“…I couldn’t return home.”

My sweat had trickled below my nose. It was September already, yet summer’s end seemed so far a date that was unpredictable…I licked away the sweat that was rolled to my mouth’s corner, sensing a salty flavour.

The cool shade under the trees saved me. I lifted my head—the secret base was covered in the atmosphere of the last bits of summer.

It was so hot outside, yet the sunlight that fell upon the ledge of the secret base kept to strangely have the flavour of September. I always felt that this was a bit of a loss.

I had come here.

The things that happened in the Super Peace Busters reunion are mostly bad ones, but on the good side, it helped me to find a place to go aside from home.

“…Huh?”

I pushed the door, and it opened directly.

Wasn’t it locked? Hisakawa, you’re too careless. Don’t you live here all along? If something were stolen…Ah, there are nothing to be stolen here.

“Hey. Hisakawa?”

Having been flashed by the strong light of September, I looked inside the room again, and all I could see was a piece of darkness. It had been enough talking. Let me get in before doing anything else…

“…Wuagh!!”

There was something curled up by a blanket near the door. Curled inside was Hisakwa.

“…Yo, Jintan.”

It was a dejected, slow voice that didn’t seem what Hisakwa sounded before. His eyes were all red.

“Is…Menma here? Here.”

“N-No. She didn't come today. What happened to you?”

“Oh.”

The weather was so hot, yet Hisakawa still had to wrap himself with the blanket while crawling up. His pants had become loosened.

“What a thrilling night.”

“Ah? Yes…”

“I…believe in Menma’s presence,” Hisakwa said while scratching his buttocks; his eyes seemed a bit shallow.

“But, getting to the root of it, that’s because we trust you, Jintan. If you believe there’s Menma, we’ll also believe there’s Menma. That’s how it works.”

That was how it worked?

“But…how do I put it…um…”

Hisakawa repeated to scratch his buttocks, maybe he couldn’t think of any other action to do. At last, he did another action.

“Hmph! Fufu!”

He pulled the tissue roll on the edge of the table, wiped his snot, and deliberately added a sound effect with his mouth.

Then, he looked at me with a feeling that seemed to be refreshed.

“Indeed. Jintan is special to Menma.”

“!”

My face felt like burning.

Special—what a sweet remark. Besides, it wasn’t my own egotistical thinking but a name someone else gave. I was special to Menma.

“W-What are you talking about? There’s no such a thing,” I refuted in an indescribably loud voice.

“But, if it wasn’t the case, why do only you could see her?”

“I don’t know about this too…”

“Don’t be so modest! You’re special!”

“Wuaghh!”

Abruptly, I discovered Tsurumi was standing behind me.

“Tsurumi! Let me tell you. Yesterday night, you…!”

“Yesterday night?”

“No. Nothing…”

Tsurumi didn’t answer but handed a paper bag to Hisakawa. It was that kind of colourful, checkered, trendy paper bag you can only find in department stores of large cities.

“I’ve brought this: a mug. When we’re having the BBQ, I was shocked to find out that there are so few eating utensils here.”

“Eh? Can I…eh? What is this? Isn’t this a coffee brewing machine?”

“It’s just one we’ve used. My mum bought a new one back from the charity fund…so this is the old one.”

“Wuagh! Thanks! That’s so great. Are you one of the nobles, Tsurumi?!”

Hisakawa’s eyebrow returned to its original position. Or should I say, it ran to a place even lower than the regular position. Talk about finding people to help by first offering them with some benefits. He was such an easy guy to understand.

“Today Matsuyuki didn’t come to school. It seems like he’s going to have a long battle, so I think beverages are necessary.”

Tsurumi lightly squinted her eyes. What did she mean by a long battle?

“Ohehehehe! Let’s have some happy coffee time, shall we?”

Before I got the chance to ask what Tsurumi meant, Hisakawa had already been happily fiddling with the coffee brewing machine.

Tsurumi sat comfortably on the old sofa as if this was her place; she then moved her eye up to meet mine.

“Is Menma responsible to look after your house today?”

“You also believed it?!”

“I don’t know. However, I’m counted as skeptical.”

At this moment, Hisakawa joined our conversation with a picky tone while battling with the coffee brewing machine. It seemed like he had been listening to what we had been saying at the least.

“What. Didn’t you say it was a mass hallucination?”

“I don’t mind.”

“Heh?”

“I’ll also get hurt.”

Tsurumi murmured a reply completely irrelevant to Hisakawa’s question.

### 005. Chapter 14 : Call My Name

“…”

In this heat, Atsumu, who forgot to turn on the air-conditioner, stared straightly at his phone.

Chiriko had sent him a mail: ‘we will hold a party to greet Menma today. Everyone in Super Peace Busters will join, though you look like feeling unwell. If you’re willing, join us.”

“If I’m willing…what does she mean?”

What is willing? He couldn’t find any reason to make himself willing.

Atsumu felt irascible, as if he was betrayed by Chiriko.

Everyone in Super Peace Busters?

Atsumu’s anger had become Menma’s anger. She silently trembled; her short and disarrayed breathing seemed to be at the side of his ear.

Atsumu had already lost his ability to make the right choice. There was no other way to do it even if he had this problem. He thought in the depths of his heart.

(If there is really a Menma whom only he could see…)

How would Menma think if she knew the thoughts I was having? The problem was that Atsumu couldn’t stop already. These thoughts couldn’t hold him from doing this.

“Menma. Let them see. Let them have a look at you.”

Atsumu forcefully pushed the door.

“Ah…”

Meiko practiced her voice in front of the ratating electronic fan.

Before Jinta went to school, he opened the window of his room and even moved the electronic fan upstairs. He didn’t know that the hot weather was only a mental cognition to Meiko and not a physical experience. Though he didn’t know, he didn’t deliberately go to check.

Meiko’s accepted Jinta’s soft gentleness was to press on the electronic fan.

“Ah…Ah…”

But it was very boring. This bored feeling was also embedded with the worriness for Jinta, making the time harder to bear.

As such, Meiko walked downstairs.

The shrine was placed in the living room.

Although she was aware of its presence, she was still a bit afraid to approach it. The name Jinta’s father called towards the shrin and the phot placed on top of it was the gentle face Meiko knew, but there was always some hesitation in her heart that stopped her from checking it out.

Nevertheless, Meiko was sitting on the cushion in front of the shrine without any hesitation.

“Auntie…”

Meiko clasped her hands in front of Jinta’s mother. The miraculous scene of a spirit undergoing a memorial ceremony to a deceased person was happening right here.

“Auntie is a lot more beautiful than the one in the photo. Menma’s photo is the same: Menma doesn’t quite like the photo, but it’s a rare one that Menma doesn’t make a V gesture. Menma likes to make a V gesture when shooting photos. The photos that don’t have her making a V gesture and few and far between.”

Then, she lightly rang the bell. The crisp sound reverberated in the damp room, bringing into it a beautiful, refreshing sound.

“Although Menma had died, she’s still very lively…”

Trickle, trickle… Something trickled from Menma’s eyes.

“Ah. Ahle? What’s the matter? Eh?”

Tears drop affluently. Even having rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, the tears don’t seem to cease.

“What about me? How strange…Auntie, please don’t laugh at me.”

Jinta’s mother was gently smiling in the photo, though she couldn’t really make the sound of smiling. And in place of this sound was the ringing sound of the doorbell that was about to broken.

“…eh?”

Tap, tap, tap. Meiko climbed up the stairs and came into Jinta’s room.

She opened the windows there, stretched her body forward, and looked outside.

“Anjo?!”

In front of the door stood Anjo who was about to be going school.

Overjoyed, Meiko wanted to wave her hands to Naruko.

(An-Anaru…would she be scared of Menma’s spirit?)

Meiko remembered the look on Naruko yesterday. It was a very shocked look with her eyes widened in astonishment. Meiko remembered that she hadn’t seen this look on her when she was still alive.

(She would certainly be afraid.)

Everyone in Super Peace Busters had become afraid of her.

(Bother.)

Naruko’s face was obviously tensed.

She pressed on the doorbell and didn’t leave even though there was no one to open the door.

She reckoned Jinta would be in his home, for obviously there was eviodence of someone in the house: the windows of that room were open.

It was the room at the corner on the second floor. If there weren’t any change, that must be Jinta’s room. The curtains hanging on the windows fluttered lightly like feathers.

(Is Menma also in that room?)

Wind blew at it. Whoosh, it passed the room.

Induced by the wind, the curtains bulged.

Then, the curtains fell down, but at that instant it fell down, it created a mysterious concave shape. It was as if there was someone who cannot be seen standing there.

“!!”

Naruko wavered. But quickly, the rumble in her heart pacified.

The curtains that had changed colour over time showed a captivating white under the sunlight. It was an extremely gentle, graceful white fluttering, like the white dress ‘she’ wore on that day…

Naruko understood at the spot.

She understood who was standing there.

“Menma. Are you there?”

Meiko heard Naruko’s murmur.

Although they were words that couldn’t be heard if solely accounting on the volume, Naruko’s mouth shape and her expression made Meiko understood.

“Ah!”

Naruko’s words implied that Meiko really was there.

“Anaru. Menma…!”

Tears trickled down Menma’s face again.

“Call it again. Call Menma again. Anaru…!!”

Meiko rushed out of the room and ran down the stairs as quick as she could. Meiko’s heart was galloping: Naruko is willing to accept her, and just like that time, she called her name.

There was no room to think of sophisticated things.

In high spirits, Meiko opened the door…

### 006. Chapter 15 : The Wild Beast of Summer

The interior of the secret base was gradually dyed red by the setting sun.

Hisakawa’s snoring sound dominated the void around him, unlike Menma. His snoring sounds were like a tyrant.

It was an inexplicable scene.

There was I, who couldn’t go back home, Tsurumi, who didn’t leave for any reason, and Hisakawa, who basically didn’t sleep last night and was now sleeping like dead meat plainly in front of his guests.

But, time wasn’t that hard to endure when I was with them.

Tsurumi was now reading a novel. I was playing Hisakawa’s boring games, and with a blink of an eye, few hours had already passed.

It was like the old days.

When we were small, a day’s time pass like flying, so short it was scary. However, when I idled away time at home, time felt like really slow, so slow I felt impotent in enduring through it.

Nevertheless, when Menma came, the stuck time seemed to move again…

At this moment, Tsurumi raised her head.

“He has come.”

“Eh…”

Scuffing walking sounds were heard. Then, the door was open.

“Good evening.”

The one entering in was Anjo; Tsurumi’s face suddenly grieved. Before I could think over what her expression meant…

“…Kuh!”

I must have showed the most dumb and shocked expression.

“Menma?!”

“Jintan. It’s been ages I’ve seen you…yeah, maybe not that long. This time it’s only about half a day!”

Holding Anjo’s hand, Menma looked around.

Hisakawa, who was still curled up in the blanket like the daytime, also lifted his head hazily.

“Oh…mmm? Jintan? Did you say Menma just now?”

“Menma…she’s there?!”

Oh crap.

I couldn’t help but shout, for Anjo and Menma’s sudden arrival was completely out of my expectation.

Indeed, Hisakawa and Tsurumi’s face tensed, but Anjo didn’t; she said, “She’s really here.”

She showed some puzzlment…a miraculous expression with even some embarrassment within. Then with this expression, she looked at her right hand that Menma was holding.

“Is it here? It feels a bit heavy.”

“Heheh. You’re right!!”

How should I take this situation? There was no way I could make it up in my mind.

“You guys! Why would you come along together?”

“Umm…we just came across each other in a coincidence.”

“You came across each other? Didn’t you say you couldn’t see Menma?

“Yeah…though I couldn’t see her…”

Menm now ran to me with joyful stepping sounds.

“Anjo came to Jintan’s house!”

“Eh!”

“Then she just stood at the door! She came to find Jintan and Menma!”

Anjo? Had she been still worried of the episode this morning?

When I lifted my head in surprise, I found out that everyone stared at me with a look of surprise that was different from mine.

“Hey. What did Menma say?”

“Ah…it’s…”

“Waaa. Menma has this at home too!”

Menma didn’t understand any part of the atmosphere around here and made a fuss over the coffee brewer Tsurumi had brought.

“…she said she has this coffee brewer at her home too.”

“Haaaaa?!”

They were stupefied by what I had said.

Three of them all opened their mouths slightly, showing the same expression. This wasn’t that weird. After all, we left without making a deep remark about it last night. This should be the first, formal interaction they had, though the topic was about a coffee brewer.

“When you’ve finished boiling coffee with this thing, it will make a poppy sound. Poppy!”

“She said it will make a poppy sound when the cofee is boiled.”

“Poppy…”

It was an abnormally jittery line I had said, making me almost embarrassed while I said it. Anjo lightly said, “it really feels like something Menma would say.”

“Eh…”

As if this line was an opportunity, Hisakawa stood up abruptly.

“Right. Let’s let Menma have some of this!”

“Hisakawa!”

He poured some coffee into the mug and raised it to mid-air.

“Hey. Jintan. Is Menma here? Here? Or is she there? Please drink!”

“Hisakawa, you!”

“…let Menma have some?”

Menma blankly looked at the mug moving back and forth in front of her, as if incredulous.

Then, Tsurumi commenced, “Menma doesn’t like to drink bitter stuff.”

“Tsurumi?!”

“Yes. This is the same as that time Let’s give Menma some more milk then,” Anjo continued what Tsurumi had said.

“Anaru!”

No one…there was no one here that denied Menma’s presence.

Yes, at this place…

“Name.”

Menma had her name.

I was unwilling to let them take Menma as a spirit or whatnot.

But, I had too many groundless fears.

She was neither a spirit, nor a hallucination, nor the wild beast of summer. Menma was Menma. At this place, Menma truly had her own name.

Though they couldn’t see her, they still…

“Ah!”

Menma’s eyes flashed with tears.

“Everyone…I love everyone!!”

Shouting, Menma embraced Hisakawa’s waist.

“Mmm? Ah, ahah…what’s the matter?”

I couldn’t help laughing.

“Menma is now embracing you.”

“Eh? Men-Menma!!”

“Ahaha!”

“It’s been ages since we have had this joyful time. Hey, Menma…are you holdong my stomach? You will make me want to pee, hey!”

Hisakawa turned around in circles happily, Menma following him spinning while laughing.

“Poppo, go to pee! Menma wants to go too!”

“Menma said she wants to go to pee with you.”

“Ohoh. Menma, you can’t peek! This stimulation is too big for kids!”

“Eheheh…”

As they talked, Hisakawa and Menma had left the secret base through the door.

“Peeing together…this lacks the needed nervousness…”

Anjo murmured in surprise. I also felt hugely impotent, lying flat on the spot.

“Yadomi?”

What a happy look.

“It’s great,” I murmured consciouslessly.

Tsurumi looked at me with the corner of her eyes, “I’ve also said I didn’t truly believe it.”

“Ah! Yes.”

“But…”

Tsurumi stared frontwards.

As if foreseeing something to come, she just stared plainly frontwards…

“If I don’t believe in it, I couldn’t advance.”

“Eh…?”

At this moment…Boom!

“Wuaghhh!!!!”

“Yaaaaaaa!!”

The door was violently pushed open; Hisakawa and Menma rushed in in a speed that caused them to almost fall down.

“Hisakawa. Your flyers open.”

“Oh! Sorry…no! I saw it. I saw it!!”

“Heh? Saw what…?”

“Menma!!”

“Haaaaaaa?!”

I was dashing in the summer night.

In this dying heat, there was only the songs of early autumn sang in chorus by those insects.

Ahah. Why was I always running? I had run in these woods yesterday night already.

When I was small, I would always run in these woods.

“Haah…Haah!”

I messed up my breathing pattern—seems like my body conditions had deterioated greatly.

Hisakawa had been long running before me. Tsurumi and Anjo ran in different directions from me. And when I was mindful of where Menma was, she was gone already.

I didn’t believe that there was another Menma.

I thought it might be possible when Hisakawa said he had seen Menma previously, for Menma was my hallucination, and it was normal for others to see similar hallucinations.

However, I couldn’t believe it now. This was because Menma, though a cry baby and her thinking drifts off a bit, she would always care for the feelings of others. Every part of her constituted to Menma’s complete facet.

If she were to be taken as a spirit, I would rather let her be my hallucination forever—this thought vanished from me unknowingly. Menma was Menma. Menma could only be Menma.

But, he told me there was another Menma. A strange sense of foreboding started to thrash in my heart.

If there really was another Menma.

This Menma weren’t with anybody; she was alone.

Then, I would want to find her.

I want to confirm this; I want to call her name; even if I couldn’t see her, I wanted to understand her.

Menma couldn’t experience the feeling as a secluse. If this feeling were to be experienced by another Menma, this would be too arduous for her…

“Wuaaaaaa!!”

Hearing Hisakawa’s shouts, I lifted my head abruptly.

The trees and the buzzing sounds of insects messed up my sense of distance. At this time did I find out that not only Hisakawa but also Tusurmi, Anjo, and Menma was closer than I had thought.

“I found her. She’s Menma!”

“Eh?!”

I looked at the direction Hisakawa was pointing to.

“!!”

At the farthest tip of my view, there was a white shadow flying through the crevices between trees. The dress that was lifted by the night wind belonged to…

“…Menma?!”

### 007. Chapter 16 : Punishment

Hearing Hisakawa’s sound, ‘Menma’ slightly squinted its eyes.

It thought it wouldn’t be discovered, or at least it wouldn’t be caught up. Being so familiar to these woods, it thought no one in the Super Peace Busters could catch it.

It was just a way to let them smell the last fragrance of ‘Menma’.

Hisakawa and others had searched in a new direction.

‘Menma’ wasn’t discovered. It got out from the darkness so uneasily, yet it was covered in the thick night colour again.

Darkness could only give birth to a new darkness. ‘Menma’ couldn’t find this out.

“…”

Hid under the shadow of the trees, ‘Menma’ spied the dashing Jinta with his bare feet sunken deep into the bushes, but Jinta didn’t spot itself.

Yes. Jinta couldn’t see it. Never could he see ‘Menma’.

Enjoying Jinta’s ugly running pose, a funny feeling came over ‘Menma’, and thus ‘Menma’ raised the corner of his lips.

But, Chiriko then suddenly cried out.

“Eh, eh!!”

Everyone looked at Chiriko, including ‘Menma’.

Bearing all those eyes, Chiriko raised her head determinedly

“With such a huge figure, no matter how clean you shave your thigh hair, it still doesn’t work…Matsuyuki Atsumu!!”

“Eh!”

Hearing Chiriko’s words, ‘Menma’ was terribly shattered.

The waver in its heart wast put forth into an action—escape. Its legs started running by itself, making scuffing sounds. Its abrupt actions caused its slippers to cling to some bushes, making notable sounds.

“Ah…there it is!!”

“?!”

Following Naruko’s voice, ‘Menma’ flew away from there.

Run away! Run away, ‘Menma’! If it goes on like this, you will be trapped in darkness again. Everyone would forget you.

I couldn’t let you people forget, but definitely I wouldn’t let you catch me.

Run away. Stop focusing on your feet. Run away. How could I not focus on my feet when running in the woods at night?

It was almost placing my life at stake—Menma ran with an incredibly risky speed. And for this reason, when the tree roots that were sticking out tripped its feet, pulling ‘Menma’ down on the bed of the woods—there it fell.

Scuff, scuff, scuff, scuff!!”

“Hey, hey! It fell over?!”

With Tetsudo as the lead, the Super Peace Busters had arrived.

The light from the flashlight shone on the place where the person wearing the white dress fell down. The beam searched in the darkness for a while, and then, they found it out.

Everyone’s breathing was obstructed.

Appearing before their very eyes was a figure wearing a white dress—the true figure of the other Menma.

“Yukiatsu.”

Chiriko mumbled.

After such a long time—a really long time—Chiriko called his nickname.

He was in such a difficult condition.

His thick and solid arms grotesquely stretched out from the lace borders. There was a sky blue ribbon hung on the chest. It wasn’t a decoration of the dress itself but an extension he added to imitate Menma. The ribbon was hung very tight and was glimmering.

Then, the silver hair reflected under the moonlight showed the original hair colour when Atsumu tilted his head a bit.

It was a wig.

Jina looked lifelessly at Atsumu, and then he came back to his senses abruptly.

“Menma…”

Meiko was about to get down to the steep slope where Atsumu was. Jinta chased behind her in a hurry.

“Wait…Menma?!”

Scuff. Jinta was frozen as he looked below the slope.

Atsumu, who had been motionless with his head lowered, raised his head. A flashing light shone through his eyes.

“Ah…are you all right?” Jinta asked Atsumu with a feeble voice.

“All right…?”

Atsumu showed a sinister smile. With close examination, Jinta could see that his face was whiter than usual, his lips pale pink, as if he had did some makeup.

“Do you think I look all right?”

“Ah…”

“Come. Look clearer!”

Atsumu grasped Jinta’s lapel of his jacket, and then pushed him down, riding on him.

“Mmm..?!”

“Hey. Stop it already. Yukiatsu!”

When Tetsudo wanted to get down there, Chiriko put her hand on his shoulders.

“Please, Hisakawa. Just look.”

“Heh? B-But…”

“This is a chance. If we miss this, I’m sure we won’t have it again…”

They were within Chiriko’s view—everyon’e view.

Atsumu, who pretended to be Meiko, was now pressing on Jinta.

“Hey. Do I look like Meiko?”

“Mmm…”

“Didn’t you see Meiko? Do I look like Meiko…do I?!”

“Yukiatsu…Mmm?!”

Atsumu pulled Jinta by the lapel and stuck his face into it. They were so close they could almost feel each other’s breathing.

“It’s my fault.”

“!!”

“On that day, Menma would die was all my fault.”

“W-What are you saying? It wasn’t your fault! It looked more like mine…Mmm?!”

“It’s my fault! I said it’s my fault!!”

Atsumu violently shook Jinta.

Right, Jinta could feel something trickling down his face—they were tears.

“Eh…?”

“If I didn’t say something like to Menma, Menma wouldn’t die…it’s I who caused Menma’s death!!”

Showers of tears affluently streamed from Atsumu’s eyes.

“If Menma really appear, she should appear before me…if she had to be a curse as a resentful spirit, she should also appear before me!!”

If Menma really appeared…

Jinta rolled his eyes and looked at Menma. Menma was staring at them seriously with straightforward eyes.

“But Menma didn’t appear! She didn't appear before me!!”

Yet, Meiko was now standing beside Atsumu.

“So, Menma isn’t here…isn’t in this world now!!”

She was just beside him. He wanted to hold her last face, the face that belonged to a person he couldn’t embrace anymore; and hence he prayed to become one body with her. Yet, she was just beside him, though Atsumu was totally unaware of this fact.

Even if he cry out loudly…even if his heart hurts so badly…

“Yukiatsu…Men-Menma?”

Atsumu’s eyebrows jumped to Jinta’s reaction.

“…eh?”

Meiko approached Atsumu and softly wiped his tears for him.

“What?!”

Atsumu was aware now. Something warm and soft softly touched his cheeks.

“Menma…is touching you.”

“Ah…ah.”

Atsumu’s whole body was trembling.

“No…this isn’t it…this isn’t it…”

He could feel it.

Before his mind could make it up, his body did. He made up the memoriable warmth of Meiko.

He was confused. He wanted to deny it, yet he wanted to accept it.

The person he longed for so long, Meiko...

Meiko looked at Jinta and said something in his ear. Jinta accepted Meko’s feelings and nodded his head solemnly.

“Menma wants me to tell something to you.”

“Eh…”

“Thanks for the hair clip. She also said, sorry…”

“!!”

Atsumu’s body shivered greatly. Then, he jumped off of Jinta’s body as if escaping.

“Yukiatsu!!”

He dashed up the slope.

“Hey, hey! Yukiatsu!”

His heart was quaking. Atsumu neglected Tetsudo and Naruko and passed through Chiriko without even turning his head around.

“…”

Chiriko heaved a long sigh. Chiriko, who usually feared cold, was now covered with a shirt immersed in sweat.

Atsumu’s memory of that day was a memory he could never forget.

On that day, Meiko rushed out of the sercret base, chasing Jinta. And Atsumu was chasing behind Meiko.

“Wait, Menma!”

“I can’t wait! If I don’t run faster, Jintan would get away.”

“You don’t need to care for that guy!”

Hearing Atsumu’s shouts, Meiko stopped running unconsciously.

“Menma isn’t any ugly girl…”

Atsumu stretched his hand into his short pants and took out a hair clip. A small pink flower was imprinted on it.

“For you.”

“Eh…”

“I think this hair clip is very suitable for you, Menma.”

He had bought it a month ago, but he couldn’t find a chance to give her. Nevertheless, it was the time now.

Atsumu’s face turned red, and he didn’t dare to look at Meiko’s face. Then, he cried,”it’s for my favourite Menma!”

It was the first confession experienced to either Atsumu or Meiko.

“Ah…Sor-Sorry!”

However, Meiko ran away in panic.

“Eh…”

“Um…Jinta is about to run away! Um, sorry…let’s talk about this next time!”

Bang and pop. Meiko had run afar.

Atsumu could only see her off.

“Rats!” He cried, throwing the hair clip in his hand into the bushes.

The same hair clip was worn by the ‘Menma’ Atsumu was holding in his hands.

It wasn’t ‘Menma’ anymore but just the scraps of Atsumu’s persistence. It was just a Meiko shell with a wig and a hair clip.

Atsumu leaned on the fence of the bridge, gazing steadily at the wig. The dress was put at his feet’s side. He was wearing a ridiculous costume composed of a sleevless garment and a short pants with a jacket covering him.

It looked as if Atsumu could easily discard the appearance as ‘Menma’, but in his heart…if he could really discard it like taking off clothes, perhaps he would have been saved early on.

“You look devastated.”

He lifted is head.

Chiriko was standing there. She must have chased him here.

“Are you satisfied now?”

“…”

“You knew everything from the very start…

“Don’t you wish I knew it?”

Chiriko knew where Atsumu bought the dress.

This is because she bought it with him after school. Not only was the dress but also the hair clip was bought. She was just shocked that he even had a wig.

Chiriko didn’t ask what Atsumu bought them for. Atsumu didn’t have the intention to explain to her.

Both of them remained silent. They had their own ‘Meiko trauma’. It was their new connection, unlike the one they had when they were small.

The connection should be like this originally.

But Chiriko…

“Why did you betray me?”

“…”

“What do you want to do?

(What do I want to do?)

Even Chiriko was unclear of what she felt.

Nevertheless, Chiriko wanted to save Atsumu. She wanted to pull him out from the ‘Menma’ darkness.

She had known this wouldn’t work. This would only pour salt on Atsumu’s wound, but Chiriko had prepared for this.

(I would suffer the pain with you.)

“Give it to me.”

“Ah…”

Chiriko picked up the dress beside Atsumu’s feet.

Scuff…

She covered the wide dress on herself.

Then, she snatched the wig from Chiriko’s hand and wore it on herself. Quickly, she had silver hair. Chiriko became the same as ‘Meiko’.

“Menma!”

Atsumu looked at the Menma in front of him, weeping.

Then, as if he had lost his strength, he fell down and embraced the same thing as ‘Menma’, Chiriko at her waist.

Chiriko stroked Atsumu’s hair lightly. It was a light brown, soft hair with a fragrance of summer grass.

“Menma…please don’t leave me again. Please don’t leave me…”

Atsumu repeated brushing against Chiriko’s waist. Chiriko gently smiled and solemnly nodded her head.

“I know…I would stay with you forever, Yukiatsu.”

To stay with you forever…

Chiriko was also hurt.

It wasn’t something that actually happened but just an imagination. With the dress in her hands, all she could do to it was to stare at it silently.

(Never could I become like Menma.)

Atsumu slowly stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“Where could I go apart from going back?”

“Where’s the dress? Give it back to me.”

“…”

Chiriko handed him the dress. Atsumu snatched it violently, turned away, and left.”

Seeing him off, Chiriko wondered what she could do to bring an end to this endless night. Chiriko didn’t know what to do.

It really hurt—Chiriko was hurt.

But, she couldn’t cry, for Atsumu upon her eyes was hurt more seriously than her.

Atsumu’s ‘Menma’ had vanished.

But it was only what it seemed. ‘Menma’ was still here: here, over there…there was sign of her existence everywhere.

No one could escape from ‘Menma’. Everyone was caught by ‘Menma’s’ face.

The river flowed slowly under the illumination of the moonlight. The trickling, cold waterflowing sound was telling them that they could never be forgiven.

### 008. Chapter 17 : Menma and I

Having said goodbye to Hisakawa and Anjo, Menma and I walked back home.

Menma, who likes to speak so much, was now silent. Therefore, I also kept silent while I walked.

My chest that had been held onto by Matsuyuki still seemed to emit faint heat.

I wanted to say something to Menma, but I couldn’t find my words; I didn’t know what I should say.

Perhaps, Menma was now having the same feeling as I. She wanted to say something, but…

Matsuyuki’s face would always pop up in the head.

Then, all the words would be swept away by the turbulent emotions on the chest before they could reach the throat.

Spontaneously, the street lamps flashed brightly and dimly in the dark town. The street lamps were very far from each other. Menma’s body was shone after all that darkness but was then submerged in darkness again after a while.

Morning, come quicker.

I prayed to the night that had come just a moment ago.

Morning, come quicker…and shine upon Menma’s smile.

### 009. Chapter 18: Third Memory

The white flower, like the jellyfish towel, was about to vanish.

I had to make a wish before it would vanish. As if making wishes to shooting stars, I had to make wishes to things about to vanish.

What wish should I make?

It couldn’t hold on anymore; it was about to vanish. Please don’t go, the white flower. I hadn’t made up my mind yet. Right, I hope…

I hope we could meet again.

## References

- ↑ Wikipedia: Darumasan ga Koronda

- ↑ A game where the one who plays the ghost appoints a specific color. Other players who can get to a place with that color before being caught by the ghost win.

- ↑ A pokémon

- ↑ Wikipedia: Ramen

- ↑ Anaru sounds the same as anus—Japanese, that is.

- ↑ A funny comedian

- ↑ One of this artist’s trademark greetings

- ↑ When Menma is added with an honorific, it is the abbreviation for sorry Menma

- ↑

- ↑ accepted by injection via a medical syringe with a needle...a really sharp needle

- ↑ bath salts named after Japanese places

- ↑

- ↑ go watch pokemon

- ↑ basically pokemon

- ↑ go and play pokemon already

- ↑ pokemon

- ↑ yo is a trademark line

- ↑ Delta has the same sound in Japanese as ‘appeared’

- ↑

- ↑ poppo is just another name for the fire, not Hisakawa

- ↑ Luigi is the Mario's brother in Super Mario Bros.

- ↑ Japanese people use ‘aunt’ as a polite referral to someone else’s mother. Auntie is used here to express their close relationship, and it is also a more childish way of saying it

### 010. Chapter 1: First Memory

What are we doing for fun tomorrow?

At that place, there are endless ways of finding pleasure. Dig in the soft dirt under the trees, and you will find a lot of rhino beetle larvae. You can skip flat stones at the dry river bed. You can play sumo in the pine tree leaves. Daruma-san ga koronda is good too.

The color ghost might be lacking when compared, as the colors in the mountains are nothing but green, light brown, and grey. Where can we find other colors?

Oh, there is that color—white. It’s the color of the dress she is always wearing.

But that white is like the jellyfish made of towels when you take a bath: fraughting the air for an instant, then slowly changing to indigo as water invades inside.

Even if it was white, it would still vanish.

Tomorrow, to replace the white that suddenly vanished, I decided to wear a white T-shirt—within that haziness.

### 011. Chapter 2: The Beast of Summer

It was so hot at the end of summer that it felt suffocating. My messy bangs had grown too long, hitting against my eyelids. I had gone two days without showering, and the sweat and oil in my hair irritated me so much that I had to put it up with a rubber band.

Delving into your mind’s world and battling with the present seven deadly sins and the unknown eighth… I had used one hundred and fifty-six hours on this nonsense that seemed to come from a video game for second year students in junior high.

They had understandably deformed the female genitalia. ‘Lust’ opened and closed repeatedly with a ‘kupaa, kupaa’ sound. I killed every single one of them relentlessly, recklessly killing the summer of my first year in high school.

The cicada sang, "kupaa, kupaa." It was very hot.

What a lewd design. The thing ‘kupaaing’ on the monitor squirted weird liquid out of its centre. Trying to mentally dismiss the fact that I hadn't taken a bath, I pounded every single one of these disgusting, filthy beings with a machine gun.

"Jintan, are they Jynx ?"

"No.”

"But its lips are so fat. Isn't it like Jynx's ‘hatoko’?"

... 'Jintan.'

This honey-sweet voice clung even closer to my skin than my sweat and oil.

"Do you know what 'hatoko' means, Jintan? It's your grandpa's little sister's child's child, you know? So that in Menma’s case is Kii-kun!"

"..."

Most likely I had been too hungry.

To have a gap induced from boredom and hunger is unacceptable, for it will allow unnecessary feelings to squeeze themselves into it against one's will.

At these times, one has to be decisive and swiftly fill this gap.

"... Let me eat some Shio ramen then."

"Wah, Shio ramen. Menma wants to eat it too!"

I went into the kitchen next to the living room and lit up the matchsticks inside. The connecting points on the gas stove seemed to have a poor contact. I ignited it by throwing some ashes into the place where the gasoline had flown, and a loud boom was heard.

I like Shio ramen. Having waited for the water to boil, I meticulously threw an egg inside so it wouldn't be stirred.

“Ah, I want the eggs stirred! I want egg flakes!”

Right. I wouldn’t stir it. When I eat it, I would lightly poke the lunar-shaped egg to let the half-boiled egg yolk ooze out, crowning the noodles. This way of eating seemed much more mature than eating egg flakes…

“Boo! The egg is getting boiled! Stir it, quick!”

“…”

I would never admit believing in unreal things, for example: UFO, UMA, MRR, or spirits.

“Si...”

I had to regulate my breathing patterns with my nose, because at some point that I was unaware of, my breathing had become strained.

If I had to deny it, I should have to neglect it from the very start. If I were to be a bit wary of it, only just a little bit, it would be the evidence that I had already accepted it as reality.

“Ah. Look! It’s expanding already! Quickly stir it… Stir—it—quick!”

Three minutes. Give me three minutes and this will be done.

Nevertheless, those three minutes that seemed to flee so fast when I played games seemed so long now.

Noodles. Please, I beg you to become cooked as quickly as possible—thus I started to pray impatiently. At this moment, the malfunctioning, tone-deaf doorbell speaker rang its out-of-tone ringtone.

“Aren’t you going to open the door, Jintan?”

“…”

I would never open the door during my dad’s working hours, no matter how many times the bell had rung. This was what I usually did.

However, the things that human beings can neglect simultaneously are finite. Perhaps this ringtone was a godsend to help me.

(Let me get an escape by this chance.)

As I gave thanks for this coincidence, I turned off the stove. Now I couldn’t cook the egg into a beautiful lunar shape, and the noodles would also get mucky. Nevertheless, I had no other resort. I then walked to the door.

“Now is the time. Stir!!”

The eggs in the pot seemed to be swished and swooshed. I felt a stream of cold sweat sliding down my back.

“Coming… Mmm!?”

When I opened the creaking door, in front of me stood the visualization of the ‘Lust’, a woman as if having its sexual organ slapped on her face.

“... Hi.”

Having lightly tanned skin, wearing tight aqua-blue suspenders, and being overly exposed—the way she deliberately showed off her immature sexiness- feeling overly carnal, she made me uncomfortable.

Splat.

“Hey. Things are going quite well for you.”

“Ah, ahah…”

What an unlucky day.

Misfortunes never come alone. Rats. How I wish to whack them away: to use the machine gun in the game to shoot everything away, including this real thing and that unreal thing, penetrating them with bullets.

Hey. Wait?

What would happen when this thing sees that?

“… Um. The class teacher told me to give you this, your holiday homework.”

The girl in front of me awkwardly stretched a pile of printouts to my face.

“Hah? Holiday homework… It’s already the end of August now. The holidays will be over after two days!”

I spoke back in reflex to this girl I hadn’t spoken to for a long time—three years of no social interaction to be exact. To my blurted doubts, she said, “It’s fine. After all, you’re always in the holiday mood. Besides, unlike you, Yadomi, I’m very busy.”

She said it with a commanding tone completely opposite to her frivolous appearance. From that tone, it was impossible for one to tell the fleeting of years, as if she had completely seen through me.

She was making me impatient.

“Then you can just dump it on me. After all, I wouldn't go to that stupid school!”

When I blurted this out, her aqua-blue suspenders seemed to have become heavier. Her lips twisted, yet she didn’t make a sound.

“Mmm…?”

Was she trying to say something? Having noticed, I involuntarily started to concentrate on something…

Then my mind became completely blank, for I had unwillingly shown my mistakes. The girl intentionally aimed at my defensive mistake and quickly lashed a fierce comment at me.

“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“What!?”

"You should be ashamed of yourself."

My blood rose and my ears became hot. What do you know?

I wanted to argue. I wanted to hurt her with extremely sharp, impulsive words!

“Eh, who’s there?

“!...”

A sound came from the back, cooling my heating head.

I didn’t look back, trying to see the reaction of this girl—Anaru Anjo. She furrowed her eyebrows as if surprised, but that was only a reaction towards me.

So, Anjo couldn’t see her?

“What’s the matter, Yadomi? You look upset.”

The problematic matter behind me screamed ‘Ahah!’ in joy when it heard Anjo’s voice.

“This voice! I know it! It’s Anaru!!”

Her naïve voice spoke the forbidden word.

“You… Don’t call her Anaru!!”

I interrupted her in reflex. Even if she was the visualization of ‘Lust’, saying this to her so bluntly was a bit too much.

“… Ah.”

Anjo’s face slowly turned into a color much more vibrant than brown.

“Ah, Ah, An… Don’t call me Anaru!”

She said the same thing as I did. But of course, she said it to me.

I see.

From Anjo’s perspective, I was the one who said ‘anus’. And she decided to completely ignore that bothersome thing touching her tanned skin and crying repeatedly, ‘Anaru, Anaru!’. No, she wasn’t ignoring it. She was…

So, this is truly…

“Waaaaghh!?”

Bam. I passed out.

I wasn’t like this back then.

In that summer, I didn’t have a problem with this heat and this painful sunlight that tanned my skin. During that summer, when we were in grade 5 at primary school, we were always seen together.

There was an abandoned, coal-burning, small house on the mountain at the back of our school. We moved a lot of useless ‘treasures’ there and called it our secret base. We played there for the rest of our summer. All my memories of summer were born there.

We were the ‘Super Peace Busters’.

‘Busters’ was a word we just knew and we just remembered, which seemed to mean strong people. We had to safeguard peace and punish evil. With this sublime wish, we gave ourselves this name.

Of course, the first one to propose it was I, the captain.

No one denied my idea. No one cared. For at that time, I was the best at everything, be it running, calculation examinations, or even calligraphy—I had even gotten a silver award.

“Heh. Busters! Though I don’t understand, it feels really cool!”

Yukiatsu was number two. Although his grade in music was better than me, he couldn’t catch up to me in all other criteria.

“The word ‘super’ feels really strong…”

Tsuruko was a girl who did things at her own pace. She was pretty good at drawing, though, she always drew princesses or fairies. If only she could draw something else, then it would be a nice décor to hang on the wall of our secret base.

“If we use this name, we will have to really safeguard peace seriously. Can everyone do it?”

Anaru was abnormally serious and did things according to the rules. For example, she would go sweep the secret base when no one told her to. She would even get angry when I wiped my nose with the collar of my jacket. She was exactly like the lady next door.

“Mmmahh! It’s super cool! Jintan!”

Poppo, though small and timid, would take off his pants sometimes, which was very fun; hence, I liked to bring him around to play.

“Then it’s decided. Is it, Jintan!”

Then there was Menma.

Menma’s honey-sweet voice had always given me energy. She always cried, and when she did, her eyes looked like glass pearls filled with water from the ocean.

Her grandfather seemed to be a foreigner, and she seemed to be a quarter mixed. Her soft milky hair looked like sunlight could penetrate it. If you smelled closely, you might even smell faintly an unknown fragrance of flower from her…

Every time I heard Menma’s voice, I would rush to her, showing off the coolest side of myself.

Yes. As the captain, I had to run in front of everyone else. I could never trip and have an ugly side.

If I were to trip, I would rather fly away.

This was such an immature way of thinking, but I indeed had this feeling back then.

But the one to fly away wasn’t me.

Buzz…

The flapping sounds of B29 came from afar.

‘Super Peace Busters’ decided to investigate wars for the summer’s free investigation. With this vague investigation topic, we asked an old man nearby who had a problem walking.

“Ahah. I was just around as tall as you guys at that time. I escaped into the air-raid shelter, holding my little brother at my arms. My brother held my thighs tightly. It was a very warm scene…”

I looked at my own warm thigh.

“!...”

A thin leg was pressing my thigh tightly.

She took my arms as a pillow, and slept near my shoulders. She had promisingly long eyelashes on her sleeping face. I lightly smelled the air—a faint fragrance of flowers.

“I… must have gone nuts.”

Buzz, the electric fan kept swinging its head, denying with its might anything in front of it. Although I had never noticed it before, it actually was quite gentle.

At the moment, I was in a seriously acute situation.

This fragrance of flower and this sleeping face were once registered in my mind, yet I don’t remember them, because…

“Mmm…”

From the chest part of the dress, I could see the white bulging part that had the power and beauty to make every color lose their brightness. I looked at her tipsily. Everything I knew about her shouldn’t have been mixed with the feelings I had towards her now.

There was also that leg that bluntly pressed on my lower abdomen. It was like a fleshy, slick, bright carp. Her kneecaps bent into an acute angle. Even her skirt was curled up. Under that, though I could not see from this perspective, I thought it would be like…

“…”

If I don’t get away with the heaviness and the wriggle on my lower abdomen, things will get dismal.

I could never allow my sexual impulse in my puberty to rush out in this abnormal situation. Lightly and meticulously, I took away my wrists.

“Mmm…”

My heart thumped. I stiffened, not daring to move an inch. The wrecker blinked her eyes, bringing her long eyelashes into motion.

“Ah… Morning, Jintan.”

A soft smile then bloomed at me. This soft smiling face… Ahah.

It was the same as in my memory, making me dizzy.

“That’s great. You just fell over. I thought you would be dead.”

“…”

I thought… you would be dead…

“Wu… Wuaghhh!!”

I cried, jumped up violently, and ran away.

“Ji-Jintan!?”

Crack crack crack… Boom!

I rushed into the washroom, closed the door, and locked it, but this was not enough to make me assured, so I held it tightly with my hand.

“What’s the matter? Jintan!”

Bong, bong, bong. The door quaked.

A few months back then, when I entered high school for not even a week, I escaped outside and ran back home.

Everything was peaceful as long as I hid at home; however, I couldn’t believe that even in this state there would be an intruder.

The place that could accommodate me had become narrower and narrower. My helplessness has grown to—If I were invaded even here, then I had no place to escape. This was my last defense: I had to protect it.

“Poo pooing? Hey, are you poo pooing?”

Can’t you even allow me to think seriously?

I would never admit unreal things. I don’t believe in anything pertaining to spirits, but if she really is real…

If she really is Honma Meiko…

Then why had she grown a bit from back then. Why… why?

“W-Why do you have to come to my place?!”

“Heh?”

My voice was trembling. I realised even my kneecaps were trembling. What a shame. Nevertheless, this was an emergency situation. I was not the one to be blamed.

“Are you a spirit?!”

“Yeah, should be?”

“Not should be, but be! Why until now… besides, you’ve grown, why do you have to come to my place?!”

“Mmm… Even if you ask me I won’t know.”

“…”

She said she didn’t know.

This was an accentuation of speech that an anime character used in a hit anime. From this relieving tone, the trembling of my legs stopped without my noticing.

“But, let me guess. Menma probably wants to make a wish come true!”

“Wish… right. What wish?”

“Umm. I don’t know!”

How calm you sound. The tone of your voice sounded exactly like you wanted to gain pleasure from the situation I was stuck in.

“Ah. Jintan, come out!”

Although I was still afraid, my mind seemed to have become more stupid.

The situation I was in was too strange. If she were a spirit, she would have the look of a spirit and scare the hell out of me. Otherwise, this actually was…

“… It can’t come true.”

Menma cocked her head, making a little ‘eh?’ doubtful sound.

I rebuked her loudly, “If you don’t even know what’s your wish, how can you make it come true?! What do you want? You!”

“Ahah! Your saliva is spurting out! Bother! Look at my defensive wall! Eh~ Wait for a moment…”

Menma put her hands under her chin, posing a face of contemplation.

“Yeah… a wish. A wish that could only come true when everyone is back together!”

“Everyone…?”

“Right! Everyone is everyone! Super Peace Busters!”

Ah… There seemed to be something squiggling at the depths of my throat. This was a memorable, painful sound.

Super Peace Busters.

“Let’s first go get Anaru’s help! We didn’t make a good greeting just then…”

I quickly interrupted her to stop her from saying anymore.

“As you can see, she’s not the Anaru you know anymore.”

“Heheh? Isn’t Anaru, Anaru?”

She looked to have grown older, yet she was still a child inside—completely the same. She didn’t even hear what I had been saying.

“I was saying! She isn’t the Anaru back then. Even if you find that bimbo, she wouldn’t help!”

“B-bimbo?”

“That means a dumb woman! To put it short, she’s not our friend…”

“No!”

I freaked out looking at Menma. Her eyes with pale colors were welling with tears, like glass pearls filled with water from the ocean…

“No… I hate Jintan who would say bad things about Anaru!”

“… Menma.”

“Hey. Let’s go find Anaru again, okay? Let’s go seek her for her help, Jintan!”

That spirit forced me to find the past pals.

She forced me with dropping tears. This situation was too amusing. However, her tears were in sync with something for no apparent reason.

Right. Maybe this girl wasn’t a spirit.

It was my psychological pressure, my trauma… my sense of guilt. It was a visualization of all that heat that lashed on me in the summer.

When I put it this way, the reason why Anju couldn’t see Menma was convincing.

This was because the Menma who stood in front of me now was only my own hallucination.

It was the hallucination I created of that summer to reproach myself at this summer.

“…”

Fu. I heaved a long sigh.

I puffed away all the surprise, wavering, and perhaps some of my edited over-sweet scenes from my stomach, puffing them out all in one breath.

“I understand. I’ll leave it to Anaru to help your wish come true."

“Jintan!”

With still some tears in her eyes, Menma bloomed a soft, delightful smile.

That’s right, I only have to ask for her help.

Then Menma and also ‘the I back then’ could accept it.

It wasn’t only Anaru that had changed, every other thing also did.

The heat outside was even of a higher level than that in my home.

The dusk of late summer—how ashamed it was for these words with such beautiful pronunciation. The asphalt road had been heated soft. The back of my shoe stuck on the floor, unable to get a step out of the house. So, I didn’t leave a step.

It definitely wasn’t because I was scared.

“Jintan, aren’t you going to greet your neighbours?”

Menma, walking in front of me, noticed the whispers of the ladies nearby who were looking at me.

Let me think. At this map—in front of my house’s door—these people as enemies were ones that could be easily fought. I didn’t need to be sneaking around. I only needed to look ruthlessly back at them, and they would quickly avert their eyes in apology.

There was no need to be afraid. These guys had absolutely no menace to my life. That’s right, I don’t need to abstain from their sight. But this might be a bit bad for dad, as he had never reproached me who had been squandering life. But if I was attacked, I could only defend.

I had completely used all my energy to fight off these small fries.

“Eh? Jintan. Shouldn’t we head this side for Anaru’s home?”

I was choosing which way to go. I wanted to choose a road that most students in my same school wouldn’t walk on. However, no matter which way I went, the roadside scene seemed to be the same. Everything was mountains, mountains, and more mountains, for this was the basin. Be it the supermarket or the park, the background was always mountains.

So there were many mountains. Could I ask for a mountain to vibrantly self-destruct or collapse? There’s no way of escaping at this rate.

It was only me who locked myself in a place. I rejected all the feelings of the outside world and hid in a corner, for I hated this city.

“Anaru’s home. I hadn’t gone there for a long time. Very long time poo poo?”

Menma, the mixture of my trauma and psychological pressure, the hallucination created by myself back then to reproach ‘the present I’, was in a good mood.

“Anaru dragged Jintan into the house when Jintan suddenly fell down on the floor with a splat. After that, she even covered Jintan with a blanket!”

Is this for real…

“Then, she also turned off the stove, took the mucky noodles, and stored them in the fridge!”

That was way too much…

“Oh and, when she dragged Jintan into the room, she said, ‘it stinks!’”

If I had known earlier, I would have taken a bath.

“Anaru is really gentle! Ah, but Anaru she…”

“Stop.”

I still interrupted her reflexively despite the fact that obviously no one could see her or hear her.

“She… Um. Could you stop calling her Anaru? Call her Anjo or Naruko.”

“Eheh? Why?”

When I was small, I gave her this nickname without much deeper thought. I called her Anaru by taking out ‘An’ from Anjo and ‘Naru’ from Naruko and combining them together, for I thought back then that everything was the coolest when making abbreviations. For example, referring Super Mario as ‘Sumari’, Final Fantasy ‘Fifa’.

Children are such deadly and lively creatures. If I had known what it meant, I would have given her a much more meaningful name than Anaru… however.

“Ah! Dandelions!”

“…”

She didn’t hear a word I was saying.

‘The Traumatic Pressure Reproaching Menma’ was picking dandelions leisurely. This scene was overly natural—the flowers that bloom at this time are Common Dandelions—mum taught me this fact when I was small. I could still remember it vaguely.

“Here, BCG!”

Liquid oozed from the scar on the pinched flower. Menma put the scar side on my hand, the white liquid spread on my hand, printing the section of the side of the scar of the flower.

“This is…”

“Jintan seems to be feeling unwell, so I’m giving Jintan medicine!”

The reason why I’m feeling unwell is because of you—though I wanted to tell this to her, I swallowed my words as soon as I saw her natural smile, a smile so normal it was almost perfect.

“Ah, there are also some here! There are also dandelions here. Dandelions, dandelions, dandelions?” Menma sang arbitrarily while picking the dandelions. She would pinch the flowers with her thumb, and ‘prack!’, tearing the flower part off, taking the dandelion life away naively.

Indeed.

Menma was a hallucination I created to reproach myself.

She didn’t say she hated me, nor did she use any power. She only used a bit to whack me, to tell me, to show me, that she wasn’t here anymore.

“Jintan. Look!”

Ahah. Why would I so calmly accept this abnormal situation? Had my brain malfunctioned or stopped operating due to this summer heat?

Perhaps tired of the dandelion massacre, Menma turned to crawling onto the wooden face on the roadside, jumping along the fence.

My head still felt heavy... I stared blankly at Menma’s bare white foot. It wasn’t a foot of a small girl but a woman.

Speaking of which, she wasn’t wearing any shoes. Why would she appear like that when even her legs had grown? Perhaps it was because of the lack of experience in my trauma that ‘the I back then’ couldn’t imagine the styles of shoes that young women would wear.

“Ah…?!”

Menma suddenly screamed. My heart thumped. My mind became completely blank.

Menma was swaying on the fence, unable to keep her balance. She then slipped on the ten-centimeter-wide square safe zone of that fence.

“Mmm..?!”

That day, at that moment, I came to my senses.

I didn’t see the accident.

However, this scene repeatedly appeared in my mind, no matter how I wanted to forget it. It was like I was the one that had experienced it—even the smell of mosses and the touch of the soil were in my memories.

That day, I went home alone. Normally, I would still be together with everyone playing, but I got angry and ran away. When I think of it, that day I ate miso ramen instead of shio ramen. And from that day on I hadn’t eaten it anymore. But actually, I like miso ramen more than shio ramen.

My dad’s car was parked at the door. He potently swung the door open. I felt a sense of aberrance. He opened the door in a flurry. Incoherent sounds of footsteps and the expanding aberrance added together.

“Jintan! Menma, she…”

I couldn’t hear what he was saying.

No. I didn’t want to hear. Yet, even when I had tried to terminate my ability to think, a scene flashed upon my eyes, a screen that forcibly filled my vision.

‘Menma, she…’

There was a trough slightly below the secret base.

‘slipped’

Connected to the trough was a slope which led to a place with rotten pine cones, a vast, deep place with swift currents…

‘and fell down.’

“Wuuarrghhh!!”

I dashed to her.

I wanted to catch Menma; I wanted to catch Menma who was now falling from the wooden fence; I wanted to change the ending that day. However, my hands couldn’t reach her.

“… Jintan?”

Menma looked at me, as if she was freaked out. Perhaps she jumped down according to her falling direction.

Besides, she was just my own hallucination. She wouldn’t really die. Nevertheless, what was I agitating for? Feeling relieved, I felt a rush of bitterness and despise.

“What are you doing?! You…!!”

It was at this moment when I couldn’t help myself from roaring-

“… What are you doing?”

-that a male voice completely different from mine was heard from my back.

It was an unfamiliar and low voice, but that voice seemed a bit familiar nevertheless. My heart thumped greatly, going out of control.

The man standing right there had the uniform of the high school I wanted to enter.

He was the number 2 of Super Peace Busters, Matsuyuki who lost to me a little bit in everything. Standing beside him was Chiriko who did things at her own pace…

When was I caught by them?

Were you so strong back then?

Or was it I who tripped and fell?

“What are you doing? Are you all right?”

“Ah! Ahah… No.”

There wasn’t anything, and I wasn’t sure what was happening. I knew deeply that I used the Japanese wrongly. I averted my eyes and put on my hat.

I had to get out of here, quick.

“Wuaghh! It’s Yukiatsu and Tsuruko!”

Menma screamed in joy, running towards them, not paying any heed to my feelings—was it a part of reproaching me?

“Hey. Let’s get out of here, Menma!”

Words slipped out of my mouth due to my irascibleness.

Matsukyuki’s face froze instantly.

“Hah? Are you saying ‘Menma’?”

Matsuyuki’s lips trembled lightly. Chiriko, feeling unpleasant, gazed at Matsuyuki and me repeatedly.

What came lashing out at me was blatant anger.

“You. Are you still talking about that until now?”

“Stop, Matsuyuki!”

Chiriko glared at Matsuyuki with her eyes slant, but Matsuyuki didn’t care and continued, “I heard that you didn’t go to school, Yadomi.”

“!!”

It was very hot under the nylon hat. It’s about to boil.

Why would you know… No. Why would the captain be despised by number two?

Noticing the subtle atmosphere around us, Menma, who had been shouting in joy just now, calmed down and looked at me worryingly.

“Having entered the worst school here and become a shut-in and at last would only call Honma Meiko’s name. Have you gone nuts?”

“Matsuyuki, stop saying it… Ah!”

You don’t have to tell me! I turned away and left.

“Jintan!?”

Menma’s voice came from behind. “I hate Yukiatsu who would say bad things about Jintan!!”

I didn’t run. I just accelerated my walking pace.

I didn’t want to be reckoned as escaping, nor did I want them to see me getting away difficultly. Having turned the street corner, I finally escaped from their sight. At that instant, my sweat came popping up.

No, I had already let them see myself getting away difficultly. The inside of the nylon hat was filled with sweat and felt extremely itchy. Not only my head, but my whole body was itchy, for I hadn’t taken any baths, even my blood vessels also…

“Jintan. Wait for me!”

Menma’s voice sounded from behind, but I didn’t turn back. I just stopped and stood still.

Menma’s bare foot had not a bit of a bruise. I understood now. I understood now what you wanted to do.

The young me was reproaching the present me.

The thing that hurt me, that completely fought me down, that let my heart be filled with past regrets… you wanted to see this kind of me, don’t you?

However, Menma, after all this had happened...

“After all this had happened, you should understand now. Everyone has changed… No.”

I staggered, then continued in a low voice, “and the one who changed the most is me.”

“Eh…?”

“It’s about it. Let me go.”

“!!”

I turned around and faced Menma. For the back light of the setting sun, I couldn't clearly see Menma’s face. Nevertheless, I could see that her foot was small and had no bruises.

I wanted to smile, but my face muscles only formed a strange arc. But, I couldn’t not laugh, for if I did, the past me would be unsatisfied.

Would the past me laugh his head off when he saw me having such a difficulty in laughing? It didn’t matter anymore. Go ahead and laugh. But…

“Let go of me… You may not understand, but I also had a tough life… after that…”

“Jintan…?”

“Yes. Really tough… So, I don’t want to…”

I didn’t know what to say about something I didn’t want to happen again, so I kept silent and turned around and ran away. Even if she saw my forlorn back while running away, it didn’t matter anymore.

Not only because she was a hallucination I had created, for even if she really were Menma, it didn’t matter for her to see me like this.

Back then I endeavoured to show her my greatest and coolest side.

Menma didn’t come to chase me.

I entered my dark room, turned on the lights… Pat. All the hidden things in the dark were shown.

The blanket was still left there; the electronic fan kept swinging as usual. I stepped on the on/off button with my foot and turned it off with my toe.

The mucky ramen was left in the fridge. It wasn’t an edible thing anymore, so I just left it there.

“…”

I heaved a sigh and lay down flat.

Entering the sight of my eyes were the prizes hanging on the wall of the room: calligraphy exhibition, endurance running, writing competition… this was the graveyard of my past glories.

Why—why had I become like this?

I flunked my examinations and entered an annoying high school… No, these things didn't really matter. These weren’t the real cause.

In the shrines lay my mother’s photo. Mum who lived long in the hospital died when I was primary six. It was the summer of the year right after Menma’s death. And thus the nearby ladies always gossip, “for he lost his mum in such a sensitive period”. They didn’t know a thing. This wasn’t the real cause either.

It was utterly impossible to find one thing to explain the real cause.

But there was one thing I was sure of.

During that summer, everything became different.

We had been the Super Peace Busters.

We protected the peace of everywhere. I was the captain, of course, for I was number one in everything.

Matsuyuki… Yukiatsu, Tsuruko, Anaru, Poppo, and also Menma all agreed to this. Everyone followed at my back, trotting—following behind me at all times.

Yes. That day was the same.

“Jintan… Do you like Menma?”

Everything started with a question Anaru asked.

“Hah?”

I was suffering from this unexpected blow.

This question was exactly strangely delicious bait. Everyone started to heckle with, “we want to know!” “Does Menma like Jintan too?” All kinds of thoughts popped up. I was filled with a mysterious pleasure, and blurted in anger, “You idiots!”, and thinking I would get away with it…

“Tell the truth. Super Peace Busters should not hide things from each other.”

Yukiatsu told me with a serious face.

“Tell, tell… tell, tell?”

Poppo also racked things up with his stupid voice, the voice that was in sync with the rhythmic heat and the songs of cicadas. With a red face, Menma said, “ehhhh! How would this...” and got embarrassed.

As a captain, I even got forced by them to confess.

I was a bit angry. If things went on like this, my respect as a leader would be all gone. To put an end to this messy situation, I blurted something out.

“Who would like such an ugly girl!”

The racked up chorus ended in an instant.

The cicadas was still singing… At the moment I cried it out loud, something in a corner of my heart told myself that things would turn totally bad.

I thought she would cry.

For Menma was such a crybaby, but…

“… Hehe.”

Menma smiled—soft and a bit troubled…

What was this kind of smile like?

The embarrassment hidden within the anger expanded quickly, and thus I escaped.

“Ah… don’t run away, Jintan!”

Menma chased me. Stop! Stop coming! If you come won’t we become even more suspected? So stop coming!

Menma fell down, but that didn’t stop me from running away. It was not something Menma raised, yet it pertained to Menma, hence my embarrassment and anger. That was what I thought back then.

Because Menma… she smiled.

I apparently tried to make her angry and hurt her.

Yes. I felt shameful of myself.

However, I could not put forth my feelings and speak them out. I only wanted to cry.

Dad would come back for a moment, and then go to the hospital to visit mum. Placed on the short table of a house, illuminated by the setting sun was a bag with miso ramen. Beaten eggs and chopped onions were put in a big bowl wrapped over with a preservative film. Using these to deal with my dinner, yet paying much attention to the details—it had the style of my dad.

I turned on the television, letting it sit there, and boiled the noodles, hearing “Yooh” from behind, and also “ayoo, thank you for waiting everybody” .

Idling around and looking at the egg sinking down into the pot, I made a decision.

Tomorrow, I would suddenly jump at Menma from behind and bind her neck with my arms. She certainly would fall down, and then at this time I would get a hold of her steadily to prevent her from falling down. Let me pull such a prank.

And then, I would cry out loud, “My dear Menma !”

I had even devised the tone of my cry and the details of binding her. This idea sounded nice, even I thought so myself.

It was even funnier than the jokes on the television.

However, after long practice, I didn’t have the chance to employ it. I couldn’t apologise.

Menma had already died.

The Super Peace Busters.

As its name implies, we busted the perfect peace and became poles apart from each other without knowing it.

Was it because of Menma’s death?

No, even if Menma hadn’t had an accident, we were a lot far from each other originally. Be it our hobbies, the colors we liked, or the jokes we liked—all of them were different.

It was only because we were too small that we didn’t notice this decisive disparity… and got together by luck. So, separation was inevitable.

“…”

What had I been saying about “it’s about it, let me go”?

Sure, I had been having a tough life. Five years had passed since Menma’s accident, but when I thought of Menma, the place near my stomach had a feeling of clutching together.

However, I didn’t reckon that I had atoned for my sins. For it was of my cause that Menma would… even if my trauma didn’t find me trouble—even if I was not reproached—I would still be clung with an impulse to destroy myself.

Yet, why would I see Menma?

Jintan.

At that time, she would always call me with such a honey-sweet voice. She was a crybaby, yet she smiled at that time.

On that day, I really wanted to apologize… to say sorry to her. Indeed.

I wanted to say I was sorry to Menma.

“!!”

A stream of current went through my spine. I couldn’t wait any longer. I rushed out the door with an impulse that couldn't be left waiting any longer.

At the instant I grasped my shoes, the door opened. Dad had gotten off work and returned.

“Ah. Eh. Jintan, where are you going?”

“Just for a round!”

I got past my dad and dashed outside.

Go… to the vicinities.

The roadside scene faded away with the sounds of my heavy breathing.

Compared to the dashing speed and the pleasure of fighting with wind that my mind created, the real me was worn out quite soon, my legs becoming soft, about to collapse. After that, I couldn’t stop myself from screaming out, “If I were to trip, I would rather fly away!”

I had always wished.

I had always wished for the day after that day—the day I could apologize to Menma.

### 012. Chapter 3 : The Night of Curry

Meiko walked on her bare feet.

At night, the asphalt road still had traces of the heat of the setting sun: it was a bit warm, a bit moist, and very serene and tranquil.

Walking on this road, I stepped on it with my foot and rubbed it against my foot. I felt a slight pain from under my foot, a vague pain as if punched on the cheeks when dreaming while sleeping.

(Where had Menma gone until now?)

Because of this vague pain, Meiko started to become numb to time. She couldn’t remember anything. The only thing she knew was that a long time had passed since then.

Meiko reminisced about the instant she vanished from the world.

(Did it hurt?)

At the instant she tried to remember it, a sharp, cold pain like a piece of glass slicing through her back shot right through her.

She wanted to fulfill a wish.

That wish could only be fulfilled when everyone in the Super Peace Busters was together.

Every time she thought of something about herself, pain would crawl over her whole body, but this didn’t. This was the only fact that wouldn’t hurt when she thought of it.

She wanted everyone to know how each other felt, just like back then.

However, because of her adamant thoughts…

(Jintan…was hurt because of me.)

Jinta’s leaving scene kept running through her mind.

Jinta said that he had had a tough life after that, and that everyone had changed.

Meiko wanted to deny this fact. She wanted the Super Peace Busters, including Jinta, to return to how they were before.

She knew, however, practically nothing of after she passed away. As such, she wasn't fit to make decisions for others…she was aware of this.

“Arghahahahaha!!”

A coarse laugh interrupted Meiko’s hesitation.

(Eh…?)

“Arghahaha! Naruko, you really did go there—to Yadomi’s house. You’re fabulous!”

“Eh. Yeah. It’s so troublesome!”

Naruko and her high school friends strolled in front of the station.

If they hadn't had a special destination, McDonald's would have been a great choice. Or, they could have spent a bit more and gone to a family restaurant to kill time. However, they chose to gather in front of the station and chat there. This was to flaunt their equipment to the pedestrians.

She was wearing a newly bought lace bra, and had had her fingernails coloured aqua-blue last night.

“Ahaha…!”

When did her laughing voice sound so loud? Naruko sometimes would even think this inconceivable.

Since the autumn of grade 2 in middle school, she would wear super-short skirts. By the summer of grade 3 she even started to wear high-heeled shoes.

Naruko was thinking about Jinta. She had seen him today, but it had been a long time. The last time dated back to the opening ceremony of the school.

(How does he think of me?)

After Meiko’s incident, the Super Peace Busters drifted apart. Gradually, Jinta’s attitude changed. To sum it up in one word, it was the word ‘sullen’.

There were quite a few children around here who had to face the examination of promotion to high school. They entered the same high school, yet every time they met in the corridor, Jinta would always turn away, pretending he didn’t see her.

Naruko wanted to catch Jinta’s attention.

Would he say anything to her after she had taken off her glasses?

No, he didn’t.

Would he say anything to her after she had worn super-short skirts?

No, he didn’t.

There was only once, during the third year of middle school, that she caught Jinta saying something when they met.

“…like some straw.”

At that time, Naruko bought hair dye and tried dying her hair for the first time, but she messed up the bleaching time and made her hair bleach too much colour.

Nevertheless, it was enough to excite her.

To see Jinta leaving and shouting like this was exciting and joyful.

‘What should I do now? Time’s up.”

Naruko’s friend’s voice pulled Naruko back to reality.

“Ah. Yeah.”

“There aren't any good ones here. Let’s just play around a bit and get out of here.”

Naruko and her friends agreed to go to sing KTV with boys from other schools later. KTV partying, chatting in front of the station, or buying a one-hundred-yen snack if starving…going to Tokyo for shopping via the express at the holidays to buy exclusive things there—this was the vanity they were submerged in.

They spent their time with a serious attitude after lessons were over in their rural school.

They left their beverage cans on the bench they had sat on and left.

This was their everyday life.

“…”

Naruko imitated their behaviour.

This was difficult for Naruko, who loved to clean things up. If she were to walk forward a few steps and throw it into the trash bin beside the vending machine…she really wanted to do this, but…

“Naruko?”

“Ah, sorry. Wait for me!”

She left the can alone. She didn’t have time to care for the different thoughts in her mind. She only had to focus on what was happening before her: there was no need to care for abandoned things.

Naruko began to wonder when she had turned into such a person.

At the same moment, Menma stared at the person Naruko had now become.

(Anaru littered…)

Menma was a bit shocked, not because she wanted to reproach her for littering, but because the person Naruko once was would never have done such an act.

She did everything according to the rules and loved to clean things up. When Meiko was eating a sweet cone, she would even pick up the scraps that had fallen beside her.

(Anaru looked like she didn’t really smile…)

Her pink chin painted with lipstick was a triangle, an expression of smiling. Even her eyes were bent…but that was not the smile Meiko knew.

Having confirmed that Naruko and her friends had left, Meiko picked up the can and threw it into the trash bin. The can knocked on the bottom of the bin and made a clear crackling sound.

The leaves of the persimmon tree she was familiar with rustled in the night wind.

Meiko had gone to the family that raised her.

She had a feeling that there wasn’t an urgent need to come back here. Meiko, who had a vague memory, didn’t have a strong sense of belonging to this place. This place occurred to her as a place she had been just yesterday. This feeling scared her for no reason.

(What should I do...)

Should she enter? She was scared to enter, but she didn’t know why.

Her thighs tensed, and her thumb curled and opened unconsciously. Suddenly, a rich, nostalgic scent flew into Meiko’s nose…

“Curry!”

Meiko blurted.

It was Meiko’s favourite curry. Mashing the sweet corn grains with a mixer into a mush, and then putting a lot of other things into it makes honey-sweet curry. Her brother Satoshi liked it a lot, and her dad would also eat it with Worcestershire sauce …

When she thought of this, her confused perception of time was eased, and she regained some sense of belonging.

At this moment, the doorknob Meiko was holding onto…

“Good evening…”

She pushed it a bit, creating a little gap for her to spy inside and have a look at the living room.

“!!”

Meiko’s shoulders shivered.

When Meiko once again saw Jinta, Naruko, Chiriko, and Atsumu, all she felt was pure happiness.

But when she saw her own family members in the living room…

Her dad had grown a lot of white hair. Satoshi had grown a lot in a short time, looking like a young man. And her mum…had wrinkles on the corners of her eyes.

Changes. Everyone would change. Jinta and the others changed. Nevertheless…

(Ah…ne? What the...)

Everything was different. It was not the Honma Home she had in her memory.

They didn’t talk: dad was reading the newspaper; Satoshi was playing the DS. On the table were dishes of curry surplus…Back then, mum would say in a lively voice, “The dishes have to be put to the sink!”.

But now, mum was placing a small bowl of curry into a shrine that was installed here after Meiko's death.

Then, she rang the bell and clasped her hands, maintaining an upright sitting position, her thin socks pressing softly against the skin of her feet.

“…”

Meiko stopped moving.

She didn't remember seeing this shrine before. Suddenly realising what that meant, she refrained from approaching it—she also refrained from approaching her beloved mum.

“Mum, can you stop giving the shrine a bowl of curry every time we have curry?”

(Satori…?)

Playing the DS, Satori complained, without even the slightest intention to lift his head and look at mum. “It looks very troublesome.”

“You shouldn’t say this.”

Mum wore a face Meiko had never seen.

“Because your sister is a bit muddle-headed.”

It was as if the smallest and lightest ripple induced by the wind crossed her face. She seemed to have held back her tears, yet she nevertheless seemed to be crying…

“So, your sister may not even be aware she has passed away.”

The words of Meiko’s mother gave Meiko the creeps, making her shiver.

Following her shivering, the cup beside her was swept to the floor, making a bang sound.

“Satori. What are you doing? Go pick it up.”

“Hey. It wasn’t me!”

Satori was falsely accused by her father again. However, Meiko wasn’t even feeling the urge to protect him. She just murmured absent-mindedly.

“I know it…”

She knew little about this present world, but this was home. This home wasn’t the Honma Home she once knew, and thus she was more alarmed of this unpalatable truth.

“Menma knows that she has already passed away.”

When she got outside, the warm night wind blew against her.

The fact of her passing away was perhaps painful…much more painful than having to accept the Japanese encephalitis vaccine .

Yet she wasn't a member who shared this memory. Her mother and other family members, on the other hand, were. They must have accepted this memory and this pain for her, bearing it for her ever since.

(Sorry…)

She uttered secretly in her heart.

### 013. Chapter 5 : Menma's Wish

I went back home and checked: Menma was not there.

Would she just vanish like this? If she really vanished, did this mean he had forgiven me, the present me?

No. It should be completely the opposite: he wanted to make me feel much more pain.

It was because I had always wanted to say ‘my dear Menma’ that I saw the hallucination of Menma.

‘The present I’ was cowardly and timid.

“Jinta, what bath salt do you want? Kusatsu or Abashiri? ”

My dad’s slovenly voice sounded from the bathroom. As usual, I told him anything was fine.

Dad didn’t have any means to reproach me for not going to school. He just acted normally and lived a leisurely life. However, it was certainly abnormal for him to permit his son, myself, to hide at home.

He even helped me to put in bath salts after he had finished bathing. This kind of care, or this kind of empathy, weighed too much on me.

Having bathed and unwinded, the first thing my dad did was not to drink beer, but to brew coffee.

Then, he also placed a cup in mum’s shrine. Crossing his legs, he sat in front of it and drank slowly with her.

“Touko, I’ll also do my best today—to do my best.”

It was a saying mum always repeated.

My mum’s body conditions weren’t good from the start. Ever since I got into senior classes of primary school, she had always been living in the hospital. I hated the view from the windows of the ward, as it was a scene that would only change colour according to the seasons. I would always find excuses to abstain from seeing her.

I didn’t want to see mum’s face changing even quicker than the view outside the window in that unchanging ward…the only thing was…

I would have never expected Menma would pass away even earlier than mum would.

That day, my father also told me not to tell mum about this. I also planned on doing so.

Yet rumours spread fast in this town, and got to the hospital swiftly. When my mum heard of this, she…

“Jinta, you have to do your best—to do your best.”

She didn’t ask me anything, and only repeated her usual motto, lightly holding me in her arms.

Her warm chest and rhythmic heart beat patterns assured me. When I was still a baby, mum would do this to me every time I cried. But at that time, mum’s chest was skinny and thin, her collarbone exposed, the rich smell of medicine running into my nose…my eyes started to become sour—the dam collapsed and tears overflowed, way beyond my control.

I wanted to see Menma—I really wanted to. I wanted to cry and sob at that skinny chest.

“What am I doing…” I couldn’t help but murmur. The chance came to me, the rare chance that I could apologise. Even if it was a hallucination, something I made up, still, wasn’t it a rare chance I could apologise?

I was lost in thought and didn’t enter the bathroom until dad had gone upstairs.

When I came back to my senses, the television had already been playing snowflakes. I didn’t turn it off, but stared at its screen, lost in abstraction.

“Jin-Ta-Kun! Come-out-and-play!”

I was woken up by this straightforward voice, filled with wondrous intonation.

As I lifted my head, a vague sense told me it was already morning. Dad seemed to have already gone to work. I stood up, shaking, my scapula making creaking sounds.

“Jin-Ta-Kun! Come-out-and-play!”

Although I wanted to neglect her, I couldn’t do so. This annoying sound that had the same tone and the same repeated greeting sound—ah, it was Hisakawa.

Reluctantly, I opened the door. Hisakawa had turned his scooter’s throttle wide open at the bright morning.

“I’ve come to meet you, Jintan!”

“Hah? To meet me…”

“Yesterday night, I heard the broadcast ‘Pray Like the Stars’ at my workplace. I felt that wishes are things to be fulfilled! So I’ve thought over it!”

“I told you. There is no way…”

“Ah. That’s okay! I’ve already called everyone!”

“Haah?” I was so surprised, even my voice shuddered. According to Hisakawa, he had already informed every member of the Super Peace Busters of the appearance of Menma, and everyone had agreed to meet.

“Everyone becomes so serious when they think of Menma. This is love!”

“…” It was too suspicious.

I wanted to drop out, but I dismissed this idea and went with the flow.

“I understand…let me change my clothes first. Wait for a moment.”

“Oh! I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes, my partner!”

While I changed my shirt, I thought to myself: Hisakawa must have filtered my trauma, my hallucinations with his ‘Poppo filtering machine’ and exaggerated it. Originally I had been alleged to be sick; now I was bound to be reckoned sick.

I remembered the eyes of Yukiatsu when he looked down on me—if I didn’t see them now, most likely I would incessantly remember those eyes he held.

I wore the most neat and tidy clothes I had and stretched my hand towards the nylon hat that was a few degrees lower than my eye view.

“Forget it.”

I didn’t want Yukiatsu to scoff at me again. No, I didn't want anyone to scoff at me. Even if I had changed completely, I still had some remains of self-esteem...

...although I knew that self-esteem would only aggravate this situation.

### 014. Chapter 6 : The French Fry Deity

(Friends, friends…they say it as if they are a religion.)

Sitting in McDonald's, beaten by a hit song being played inside, Chiriko stirred her strawberry milkshake with a straw.

The song praised friends, saying that no matter how time flies, friends would never change their trust on each other. In this situation, it was undoubtedly a song that got on her nerves.

Yet, Atsumu, sitting opposite of her, just drank hot coffee with a calm and indifferent face.

“Do you think he will really come?”

“I don’t know…”

Atsumu fiddled with his phone, looking at Tetsudo’s message.

They had diverged and weren’t the close friends they were, yet Tetsudo clung to his neck from the back and forced him to exchange email addresses with him as well as Chiriko, as Tetsudo was exhilarated by having a phone at last.

The text and the context of Tetsudo’s message were totally irrelevant.

It was about Jinta's ability to see Meiko.

Meiko wanted Jinta, herself, and everyone from the Super Peace Busters to fulfill her wish.

She also said she wanted Jinta to explain everything to everyone, so she decided to let everyone gather at McDonald's at afternoon.

“Is Yadomi even doing this for real?”

“I think so. When we saw him last time, didn’t he dash around, calling Menma, Menma?”

“That’s far from good. I feel that his personality, even his eyes, changed. But, to let us gather here…what is he scheming?”

“Let him do whatever he want. Let’s hear what’s he going to say. He changed so lot in just less than five years, don’t you think this is funny?”

“I don’t have such kind of interest.”

“I think it’s very funny.”

Chiriko peeped at her black-hearted friend drinking coffee, and lightly squinted her eyes.

“How anticipating.”

It was a playful tone, yet his eyes were dead serious. Only his mouth was smiling…how black-hearted. Right, from that day on, Chiriko had always been looking at Atsumu’s fake smiling face.

(If you couldn’t smile, it would be fine if you didn’t.)

The door of the entrance opened. The staff said, with a small nasal sound and the tone of anime characters, ‘Welcome’.

“…”

(Ahah…There was another face devoid of smile.)

“Oh. That’s…”

“Anjo?”

Naruko, who had entered the store, went to the table without even greeting them. When she went to pick something to eat, she felt her whole back to be extremely tense.

Having gotten her coke and fries, she grudgingly soothed her face and trudged to them.

“Hello.”

With that being said softly, she found a seat beside Chiriko and sat on it.

“I didn’t even recognise you at first. You’ve changed quite a lot.”

With a fake smile on his face, Atsumu looked all over Naruko bluntly.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean literally.”

Naruko averted her eyes and looked around the restaurant. Her eyes were obviously searching for ‘him’.

“When did he stop going to school?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Isn’t it normal to ask you? You guys study in the same high school.”

“…”

“Can’t you persuade him? After all, aren’t friends friends regardless of age?”

Looking at Atsumu smiling badly, Chiriko knew what he had been thinking—indeed, he had been very aware of the song the restaurant was playing.

At this time, Naruko thought while she drank her coke.

(What a displeasing guy.)

Five years were such a long and imaginable time. And having met these two people after five years, she felt they were the same as they looked—as displeasing as the uniform of their school they were wearing. Nevertheless, she didn’t have a strong feeling of discomfort to idle around with them.

Compared to those friends she would always chat with, she didn’t have to fake her look and actions when she was with them.

Why was this? Only this point discomforted her.

(Yadomi…Would he really come?)

Naruko received Tetsudo’s message while she was strolling around with her new friends.

When she saw the message, she wanted to cry.

(Actually…there isn’t a need for me to be here.)

She took a french fry and threw it in her mouth.

Among McDonald’s french fries, there would always be a few abnormally delicious ‘french fry deities’. The surface was crispy, yet the inside was so soft it would melt apart, as if having the taste of the fried french fries of expensive and high-ranking French restaurants, though she hadn’t eaten them.

Most of the other french fries were dry, which was good, but that sensation of having a chance to eat the ‘french fry deity’ was beyond words. Should one be unfortunate, perhaps there wouldn’t be a single one of them in a pack of fries.

The one Naruko randomly took was the ‘french fry deity’, but…

(…Mmm)

The Naruko today couldn’t bluntly enjoy its sensation. How rare it was for her to meet a ‘french fry deity’…

Silence swiftly engulfed the three who hadn’t seen each other for ages.

That day, their brains came back to their senses.

“Jintan…Do you like Menma?”

“Tell the truth. Super Peace Busters should not hide things from each other.”

“Who would like such an ugly girl!”

After so many times of trying to remember that piece of memory, some divergence had occurred. That divergence would change according to the views of different people.

Nevertheless, the soft smile Meiko had on her face after being said by Jinta to be an ‘ugly girl’ was almost the same in all three of their memories.

They hadn’t forgotten this scene all these five years.

Should they be careless, this scene would rush into their hearts.

When they thought of it, they would feel like suffocating, and some part of their body would feel cramped and folded into a ball.

So they tried not to touch that memory…but why…

Why did he have to deliberately pull out that memory and its henceforth pain?

“Ohyoohyoo. Ohyoo!”

Following the opening sound of the automatic door was a loud greeting. Everyone could tell who he was instantly—and also the person standing beside Tetsudo…

The three of them looked at him reluctantly. They raised their heads slowly out of hesitation.

This was some reason that differed among them.

I entered the store with my flip-flops. I could see that the Super Peace Busters were already waiting for me at a corner in the restaurant.

Yesterday I saw Atsumu, who I had never seen for a long time. He was sitting opposite to Anjo and Tsurumi. They didn't seem to have talked much.

“Ohyo ohyo. Ohyooo!” Tetsudo greeted them without paying any heed to the atmosphere. The people inside slightly lifted their heads.

“I still have work to do after this,” Anjo said, greatly displeased.

Completely the opposite, Matsuyuki looked to be in a very good mood.

He said with a smile, “I heard you’re looking for Menma? She appeared in front of you so uneasily, but she’s lost again?”

“Ah…” I couldn’t say a word back.

Tsurumi glared at Matsuyuki, tilting her eyes. Anjo was playing around with something that was decorating her nails…indeed, this scene utterly deviated from what Tetsudo said about everyone being serious for love.

“Oh, Anaru, you bought some fries?”

Anjo, with a bored face, vibrantly lifted her head for the first time.

“Don’t call me like that!”

“Why? Anaru is Anaru!”

Tetsudo’s speech was coherent to Menma’s opinion.

“We haven’t seen for such a long time. Give me some fries. I want the salty one!”

Neglecting Tetsudo’s idiotic speech, Matsuyuki slightly tilted his body to the table.

“Let’s get back to business…Yadomi, did Menma say she wanted to fulfil a wish?”

“Ah…”

“Stop speaking, Matsuyuki. You’re being too black-hearted.”

“Why should I? I’ll also be helping. I will also help fulfil Menma’s wish. If I did that, maybe Menma would go back to your side?”

Abruptly, I discovered.

Although Matsuyuki used a swift tone from head to toe, there were no smile in his eyes. It was just a dead stare, prying onto how I would react.

“No, no…I’ve said that already. That was just my hallucination…so…”

“So, I’ve said I wanted to help. Please don’t mind.”

Why should I not mind? This were the ravings of a shut-in. Why should you be so serious when speaking to me?

There wasn’t even time to conclude an answer.

“Oh yeah! Then let us first find out Menma’s wish!”

Tetsudo and Matsuyuki then started a meaningless and wavering discussion. “Menma wants to get yo’s signature…she didn’t get Bobobo’s special purse…she also wants to capture Dialga in Nokemon ...oh, this may be it. How nice it was to reminisce these things. I started to think I could get motivated.

Nevertheless, the only ones motivated were the boys. Anjo stopped playing with her nails and used her teeth to bit lightly on them instead. When she was small, she had this kind of habit—she wouldn’t care how much nail polish she would swallow when she was in a bad mood. Tsurumi only drooped her head, starting at the table.

And I…only slightly opening my mouth, I could only, quite defeated, watch Matsuyuki and Tetsudo slowly coming to a conclusion of ‘Menma’s wish’.

“So we’re going to let Nadomi play Nokemon!”

“Tsk!...” Suddenly being called, I lost my defence. And when they saw my blatant embarrassment…

“Is it too scary for you to get out of your home?”

Matsuyuki showed me a smile with an obvious malicious intent.

That cold, high, and erect nose…let me even forget my impatience and anger. I could only think in my heart what a handsome guy he was.

“Anjo, you work in a game shop, right? Could you sell us cheaply that Nokemon game…it should be the Diamond Version.”

“Why does it have to be me?”

“Tsurumi and I will be responsible for checking the internet transactions to see if Bobobo’s special purse is there. Tetsudo…you will be responsible for getting yo’s signature. Remember to be quick.”

“Eheh. Why is it me?”

“”You’re deciding things by yourself,” Tsurumi reproached. But Matsuyuki only said playfully, “it’s decided.”

Then his thin lips bent into a new moon.

“The Super Peace Busters are formed once again.”

And under Tetsudo’s strong request, we were forced to exchange our email addresses.

Save Tetsudo and I, the others' email addresses had all changed.

Then, I had to go and fetch the game.

“Bother. Why do I have to…Ahah, this isn’t it either.”

In the storage room of the Chuuko game store, I was staring at Anjo who was looking for the Nokemon game.

Eh, she was so big. She had really grown a lot.

She was wearing a super-short skirt, so if anything were done to her, it would be her own fault of wearing this outfit, I thought. However, when this woman spoke, anyone’s mood of masturbating would be gone…

Anjo, who retrieved the Nokemon game with much difficulty, carefully and attentively put the game card in the plastic bag, and handed it to me.

“Here. Four thousand and eight-hundred yen.”

“Four thousand…isn’t this the same as the market price?”

“This is a game from five years ago. It has appreciated for ages.”

Feeling helpless, I paid and grudgingly stretched out my hand to receive the plastic bag…but Anjo didn’t loosen her grip, glaring at me.

“What are you scheming, actually?”

“Hah?”

“Pulling a prank with a dead person. You suck.”

Bam, Anjo loosened the bag. The Nokemon game was abruptly thrown to my side, and Anjo turned away and left, striding away.

Pulling a prank with a dead person?

When my senses came back to me, I had already cried out at Anjo’s back.

“You say I’m pulling a prank with Menma? Don’t be ridiculous!”

Even I was freaked out by my own angry howl. Anjo stopped walking, and violently turned her body around as if she wanted to dash to me.

“The one being ridiculous is you, who can always carelessly say the name of a dead person…”

“Don’t say she’s a dead person!”

“It’s all because of me!” Anjo cried out loud this time. Her eyes welled with tears before I had noticed.

“It’s all because of those words I said…that she would!”

Anjo lifted the back of her hand to wipe her tears. Some black colour from the mascara on her thick and distinct eyelashes smeared out.

“So Menma would…become…a dead person.”

“…”

I was speechless.

It wasn’t your fault, but mine…I wanted to answer this originally. However, when Anjo and I had the same thought, this allowed Anjo’s feelings to rush into mine in these years, making me unable to act under this doubled heaviness.

Anjo was leaving, the low-quality high-heeled shoes making clacking sounds. While I listened in silence, I thought, perhaps…if Menma hadn’t come to my place, but rather had gone to Anjo’s, it would have also been appropriate and right.

There were only the dim flashes of the screen of the video game in the darkness.

There were croaking sounds of the frogs outside the window. In synch with these croaking sounds, I pressed on the buttons mechanically like a machine.

Go, Pikachu .

What the hell am I doing—playing Nokemon.

The adorable enemies had round, watery eyes. I attacked them repeatedly to weaken them as much as possible, and then I threw a Nokemon ball at them to catch them as my companion.

What feelings do they have?

Having had the hell punched out of them for no reason, and now being enticed to become friends by sweet words, and also having to be trapped in a dark, small place.

Stuffed in a backpack, brought everywhere, and forced to go outside and fight when suddenly someone said, ‘go!’…Would they really take these inhumane players as true companions or friends? I was uncertain.

Besides, what are friends actually?

At that time, everyone in the Super Peace Busters was certainly friends.

We cried out nicknames at each other, played till the sun dropped—we were certainly friends according to the conventions.

I was the captain, and everyone followed me everywhere.

Everyone would gladly accept any suggestion I made…but in fact, perhaps they hated this; they hated listening to my orders.

Menma.

Anjo too…she cried today because she thought of Menma. She really wanted to apologise to Menma.

However, Menma only appeared in front of me.

Perhaps I was the only one, at that time, to have the sense of belonging as a leader—maybe this was the reason.

On the game screen, Pikachu hit the enemy with Thunderbolt. The enemy twitched as it was electrified. What a super effect that was.

With some hesitation, I threw out a Nokemon ball and easily caught the enemy.

### 015. Chapter 7 : The Night of Meiko

This was the second night Meiko had come back.

Quietly, she looked at a distance in the dark without blinking. Those eyes were more sullen than the dark. In that illusory void lay every feeling she could think of for Meiko.

Meiko always acted against the fact that she had been forgotten.

She always held onto a place in her heart, with an out of tone voice—she would pay all her effort and strength in her prayers.

So, her wish was a lie.

Meiko complained—let the liar disappear. Let her reveal her true self under the sunlight.

However, she failed to even put this into words and speak them out.

She could only let others to decide what kind of girl she was. She couldn't enforce her own wishes on others.

For she was this kind of a girl…

So until now, she was still here, not yet disappeared, and continued to stare at a distance. And with the flow of time, her contours became even clearer.

And thus Meiko continued to grow.

Then, her hair fluttered in the night wind.

Frog croaks sounded from the darkness.

“Croak…”

She started to imitate the croaking of the frogs. Nevertheless, frogs don’t actually ‘croak’. Instead, they make a sound like some kind of instrument…a sound that only frogs could make.

From when did people think that frogs ‘croak’?

(It’s so tiring…)

She only wanted to say it, even though she wasn't clear whether she was really tired.

Menma had been strolling everywhere today, walking here and there. She seemed to be hungry, yet she wasn't clear of this fact.

Time flew past in such a slow pace.

In the morning, the sky would turn light blue, in the afternoon a blue mixed with white, then gradually mixed with red, in the night dark blue, and finally pitch black.

Menma saw this change of colours by gazing head high to the sky at different places.

There were a lot of things Menma knew in these places; however, there wasn't anything she was very clear. Every single thing changed here or there.

“I really want to meet everyone.”

Menma mumbled, trying to stop the tears that welled in her eyes from overflowing.

I couldn't face my family. I was so scared I could only look into the distance, not daring to get any closer. I must admit I wasn't in any case scared when I saw Jintan and the others.

I hope my family could forget me, but I hope everyone in the Super Peace Busters wouldn't.

This feeling I dwell on is the same—be it Menma or Meiko.

### 016. Chapter 8 : My Dear Menma

“Wu…Yeah. At last, I caught it!!”

The room was still as dark and quiet as ever, so quiet I could hear the ticking sounds of the clock…a day had already passed.

For twenty-three hours, from morning to night, I hadn't eaten anything.

I had finally caught Dialga . With all my strength, the intelligence of an adult, and the help of rare books and technology, I had finally caught it.

But of course I didn't feel bad for playing games all day long, for recently I got through every day the same way or the other. Speaking of this, Matsuyuki was witty about letting me to take up this job of playing Nokemon.

In short, I mailed Hisakawa a message about this. I have no need to report to Matsuyuki. He wasn't the captain anyway.

‘Dialga Capture: Success’

That was all I wrote and sent. Let me eat something…I think there was still some round bread in the fridge…I thought about it.

“Mmm?”

My phone rang: it was a message.

I hadn’t ever contacted with my dad over mailing, let alone friends. So for that moment I couldn't figure out who the sender was.

It was Hisakawa. I opened it and looked…

“Menma Found. Catching Failed.”

My mind went black for a moment: I couldn’t comprehend.

Inhaling deeply, I looked at the mail again. Then, I couldn't help but cry out in alarm.

“Menma…found?!”

No sooner had I finished speaking than my neck was hooked all of a sudden. My upper body shook, my breathing difficult.

“What? Did you call for Menma?!”

“!!”

It was a honey-sweet voice. I slowly called upon all the senses in my body to confirm the situation I was in.

Clinging on my neck was a white small wrist. My ears could feel a warm and milky breathing sensation…

“Ah…ah. Ah…”

I couldn't move.

Compared to feeling surprised, I felt gladder; compared to feeling glad, I felt…what was it? My nose was bloated. If I were to turn my head now I was sure I would cry.

Yesterday we met so sudden I couldn't fix in my mind on what had happened. But after some time now, I had time to think and clear things up…even if it all happened out the blue, I could accept it in some sense.

This is another chance that I met Menma…I-am-here-.

“Hey. Jintan?”

I could sense Menma’s glare me at my face. She hung her head on my shoulders, looking at me with her aqua-blue eyes. I could even feel the colour of her eyes.

There was something I had always wanted to do and that I had practiced for numerous times. That was right…First, I would have to start from here.

“Jin-tan? Are you hearing what I’m saying…Ah!”

I loosened off Menma’s hand, and sat uprightly, facing directly to her.

Then, I gradually straightened my right arm.

“Heh?” Astonished, Menma’s adorable expression reflected upon my retina, inducing the vigorous thumping of my heart. Nevertheless, I had to do this and I couldn't stop. I put my right hand on my forehead.

That was the pose ‘my dear Menma’ that I had repeated many times!

“M…my. M…my dear!!”

This was the best moment I could unveil the ‘my dear Menma’ after all these years!

“Yooh, ayoo, thank you for waiting everybody!”

“…eh?”

I froze. The ‘my dear Menma’ I wanted to say for years was interrupted just like that. Menma laughed out loud.

“That line yo, wasn't wrong yo—it was wrong, yo! You have to say it like this: say it with your hand curled like a cone and place it in front of your mouth!”

Menma started to repeatedly perform that yo line. I had always thought that my ‘my dear Menma’ could win that yo thing…

“Indeed…I couldn't win over it.”

“Eheh?”

My apology failed. However, Menma’s smiling face warmed my heart bit by bit.

“Ahahahah?!”

Menma suddenly spotted the Nokemon on the quilt.

“That’s Dialga! That’s brilliant! When did you start playing that, Jintan?!”

Menma was ranting out loud, her eyes flashing with beam.

I had captured the Dialga, yet Menma was still here.

It seemed I had messed up her wish. Nevertheless, it was a wish that I thought so myself, not what Menma had actually meant.

Menma glared at the Nokemon with concentration. “Here. This shoulder place that is bulged is so cool!” She said to herself on and on, overflowing with joy.

Perhaps it was only a hallucination. Nevertheless, the Menma in front of me was truly the Menma I knew. It was the Menma that would be threw off in ecstasy by a Dialga.

So, I made a promise quietly.

“I would certainly help you fulfill your wish.”

“Yeah? That’s too soft. What did you say? Can you say it again?”

“…No. Yo.”

### 017. Chapter 9 : She Appeared

Sleeping deeply on the bed, Menma breathed repeatedly with the same pattern. The cheap sofa had a hard texture, sticking my skin, driving me difficult to sleep in a place I wasn’t used to. I looked closely at Menma’s ear, letting my imaginations go wild: This visualisation was too refined and was of too high a quality for a hallucination—did I have a talent for a model designer?

Another thought than ran through my mind here and there was the fact that I was alone in a room with a girl. Since she was a hallucination, then it would be fine if I slightly touch her. This couldn’t be counted as a crime. No! You couldn’t be having bad thoughts toward Menma! As you are I, I couldn’t let you have such thoughts…what a meaningless thinking combat. Sleeping sweatily on a sofa made with artificial leather, hearing the buzzing sounds of summer insects as well as Menma’s breathing…this was all too real. As I pondered back and forth, I got through a blazingly, burning hot night.

“Jintan. Good morning!”

“Mmm…wa?!”

At last, I fell asleep unconsciously after all that effort, now I was woken up by that bluntly weight on my stomach—it was Menma.

“The weather is so fine! An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening, right?”

“Ah…”

The sunlight scattered behind Menma as she softly smiled. Her innocent glow lashed on my sleepy mind.

She was the hallucination I made, an illusion. Although I wanted to keep a distance from this ridiculous ‘real thing’, I seemed not too resistant in the depths of my heart.

Nevertheless, it was a lie to say I completely didn’t want to resist. But staying with Menma like this would kill away my fear.

Because she was really…adorable.

“…Wu.”

“Eh? Jintan. What’s going on? Your face looks terrible.”

“I am terrible!!”

Ding dong ding dong, ding dong.

At this moment, the doorbell, which malfunctioned because of poor contact, rang in an over-spirited rhythm.

“Eh, a guest?”

An over-spirited…seems like a person.

“Right!”

Abruptly remembering the email Hisakawa sent last night, I opened my phone and checked once again…the content of the email was…

“What…Eh?!”

Menma spied on my phone from aside.

“Wuagh!” I bended my body, trying to hide it in reflex, but it was too late. Menma’s eyes were beaming with radiance.

“That’s incredible! That’s incredible, Jintan!”

“Hah? Incredible? You…”

“You already have your own phone! That’s incredible! It’s like being an adult!”

So she was talking about that .

Menma seemed to have missed what the email was about. Probably, it was before she came back here…

“Let me ask you, Menma…”

“Yeah?”

“Have you went to Hisakawa’s place?”

No sooner had I finished speaking than Menma’s eyes became even brighter, even five times greater than the time she saw my phone.

“Hah? Hisakawa, you mean Poppo? Waghh…Menma haven’t seen Poppo yet!!”

“Mmm…” Perhaps I shouldn’t have said this.

“Ne, Jintan! I want to go to Poppo’s place. I really want to!”

I want to…I want to…I want to...as if chanting a spell, Menma violently shook my shoulders…

“All right.”

“Wuaghhh!”

Looking at the naïve and joyful Menma with my eyes slanted, I could feel that somewhere near my stomach became a bit turbulent. Such being the case, what could have possibly caused Menma's appearance?

Did Hisakawa also see this Menma illusion?

Nevertheless, it wasn’t strange, though it actually was a bit strange. Yet, Menma was here, though she surely was an illusion.

Accordingly, it is not totally inconceivable that others could also make such Menma illusions. Eh, of course this was impossible to understand for usual people.

However, however…

Ding dong ding dong, ding dong.

“Ah, it’s the guest again!”

I completely forgot that the doorbell was still ringing. Usually, I wouldn’t open the door even if there were a guest. But, now, perhaps because of some turbulence in my heart, I even dashed downstairs and opened the door in a hurry…

“Ahhahaha!”

I saw the back of a little kid dashing away.

No wonder it rang repeatedly.

“…”

My heart thumped.

There were irascible cicada’s buzzing sounds everywhere, the diminishing sounds of little kids, and the asphalt road which relfected the strong, bright sunlight…

“Wa. So it's bad kids.”

When I came back to my senses, Menma was already standing behind me.

The running kids somehow looked like us back then. Their backs, also…

Standing beside me was Menma, who had already grown up.

“Mmm? What’s the matter, Jintan?”

“No. Nothing.”

I had a feeling of my nose swelling up again.

I averted my eyes from Menma…

“…Then! My pee was drawing a strange sign, it should be the Δ sign! Then it really appeared!”

When I came to the secret base, Hisakawa excitedly began to explain things to me with his vigorous body language. From his look, I could tell he wasn’t lying, his actions were swift and light despite his heavy stance…

“Poppo?! Are you kidding me, is this Poppo?!”

Menma was even more excited than Hisakawa.

“Did you really see Menma?”

“Certainly! Maybe my trauma became more acute. This time I’ll also become cool!”

“Cool! Cool!”

Menma repeatedly recited the word ‘cool’ as if she really liked it, presenting this word to Hisakawa. But Hisakawa completely neglected Menma; or should I say, he wasn’t aware of her. Seemingly pleased, he then had a spur of the moment.

“Then, I had a surprising idea, do you want to know?”

“No. I don’t.”

“I want to know. I’m so eager to know!”

“Ah. It's my fault. Please. I’ll give you pocket money for you to spend.”

“Oh. Menma wants one-hundred-yan!”

To let this conversation between Menma, whom only I can see, and I to successfully continue, it looks like I’ll need much more practise.

“Spit it. What surprising idea do you have…”

“Oh! It’s that. That!”

Having that said, Hisakawa handed an ugly, doodled promotional leaflet to me.

“Heh…Let’s hold a big party for finding Menma before the summer break ends…?”

“Waaaa…Are we finding Menma?!”

‘Enjoy the cool air and BBQ while finding Menma’s wish. Let’s speak to our hearts’ content! ※ Bring your own food!’ was also written on it with ugly writings along with a very surprising illustration.

“Menma, enjoying the cool air, and BBQ…I don’t get how it matches your theme.”

“Don’t mind that! It’s only some minor details…it’ll definitely be very lively. Don’t you think it will be very fun?”

“Fun! Menma wants to find Menma!”

Menma seemd to be very happy, jumping here and there around Hisakawa.

“Even if you want to…everyone might not come…”

“They will! They came to Mcdonalds!”

Mmm…I was speechless, as they really did come.

Do those people have so much time to squander? Or should I say, do they really believe Menma’s thing?

Anjo seemed, however, incredulous…

“Look. Wasn’t I responsible for the ‘yo’ thing? However, I’ve been quite running out of money lately. If Menma’s true wish is to get yo’s signature…I want to see Menma and ask her whether she wants to change another wish!”

As Hisakawa spoke without stopping, Menma responded to him by saying, “Ayoo?! Wuaghh!”

It feels like I was being fooled around.

“I’m so anxious for the night, Jintan!”

On the way home, Menma looked elated. She incessantly kicked the small pebals on the road pointlessly.

“I didn’t say I would go.”

“Then, say you would go!”

“Hah?”

“Ah. Then, maybe this is the wish Menma wants to be fulfilled? Menma wants to have a look at Menma?”

“My, you’re so good at weaving reasons, blaming everything at your wish.”

Cocking her head and acting innocent, Menma said, “Mmm?” Hell, I’m getting furious.

How can such a person have such an adorable face?

I hated my own potentials of a model designer. Were I to make it more ugly, I wouldn’t have to be fooled around by her…

“Maybe I still will.”

“Yeah?”

“No. Nothing.”

“Ne, ne. Jintan’s always saying, ‘no, nothing.’ Is Jintan from a planet of naught?”

“…”

“Ah, right, BBQ, What should we bring? Menma likes German sausages. I want German sausages!”

As Menma, who can fool me around even without an adorable face, repeated her request, I gave in and said in a soft voice, forcing my last struggle.

“I think Japanese sausages are better.”

“Eeehh?!”

### 018. Chapter 1 - First Memory

## Chapter 1: First Memory

What are we doing for fun tomorrow?

At that place, there are endless ways of finding pleasure. Dig in the soft dirt under the trees, and you will find a lot of rhino beetle larvae. You can skip flat stones at the dry river bed. You can play sumo in the pine tree leaves. Daruma-san ga koronda is good too.

The color ghost might be lacking when compared, as the colors in the mountains are nothing but green, light brown, and grey. Where can we find other colors?

Oh, there is that color—white. It’s the color of the dress she is always wearing.

But that white is like the jellyfish made of towels when you take a bath: fraughting the air for an instant, then slowly changing to indigo as water invades inside.

Even if it was white, it would still vanish.

Tomorrow, to replace the white that suddenly vanished, I decided to wear a white T-shirt—within that haziness.

### Translation Notes

- ↑ Wikipedia: Darumasan ga Koronda

- ↑ A game where the one who plays the ghost appoints a specific color. Other players who can get to a place with that color before being caught by the ghost win.

### 019. Chapter 3 - The Night of Curry

## Chapter 3 : The Night of Curry

Meiko walked on her bare feet.

At night, the asphalt road still had traces of the heat of the setting sun: it was a bit warm, a bit moist, and very serene and tranquil.

Walking on this road, I stepped on it with my foot and rubbed it against my foot. I felt a slight pain from under my foot, a vague pain as if punched on the cheeks when dreaming while sleeping.

(Where had Menma gone until now?)

Because of this vague pain, Meiko started to become numb to time. She couldn’t remember anything. The only thing she knew was that a long time had passed since then.

Meiko reminisced about the instant she vanished from the world.

(Did it hurt?)

At the instant she tried to remember it, a sharp, cold pain like a piece of glass slicing through her back shot right through her.

She wanted to fulfill a wish.

That wish could only be fulfilled when everyone in the Super Peace Busters was together.

Every time she thought of something about herself, pain would crawl over her whole body, but this didn’t. This was the only fact that wouldn’t hurt when she thought of it.

She wanted everyone to know how each other felt, just like back then.

However, because of her adamant thoughts…

(Jintan…was hurt because of me.)

Jinta’s leaving scene kept running through her mind.

Jinta said that he had had a tough life after that, and that everyone had changed.

Meiko wanted to deny this fact. She wanted the Super Peace Busters, including Jinta, to return to how they were before.

She knew, however, practically nothing of after she passed away. As such, she wasn't fit to make decisions for others…she was aware of this.

“Arghahahahaha!!”

A coarse laugh interrupted Meiko’s hesitation.

(Eh…?)

“Arghahaha! Naruko, you really did go there—to Yadomi’s house. You’re fabulous!”

“Eh. Yeah. It’s so troublesome!”

Naruko and her high school friends strolled in front of the station.

If they hadn't had a special destination, McDonald's would have been a great choice. Or, they could have spent a bit more and gone to a family restaurant to kill time. However, they chose to gather in front of the station and chat there. This was to flaunt their equipment to the pedestrians.

She was wearing a newly bought lace bra, and had had her fingernails coloured aqua-blue last night.

“Ahaha…!”

When did her laughing voice sound so loud? Naruko sometimes would even think this inconceivable.

Since the autumn of grade 2 in middle school, she would wear super-short skirts. By the summer of grade 3 she even started to wear high-heeled shoes.

Naruko was thinking about Jinta. She had seen him today, but it had been a long time. The last time dated back to the opening ceremony of the school.

(How does he think of me?)

After Meiko’s incident, the Super Peace Busters drifted apart. Gradually, Jinta’s attitude changed. To sum it up in one word, it was the word ‘sullen’.

There were quite a few children around here who had to face the examination of promotion to high school. They entered the same high school, yet every time they met in the corridor, Jinta would always turn away, pretending he didn’t see her.

Naruko wanted to catch Jinta’s attention.

Would he say anything to her after she had taken off her glasses?

No, he didn’t.

Would he say anything to her after she had worn super-short skirts?

No, he didn’t.

There was only once, during the third year of middle school, that she caught Jinta saying something when they met.

“…like some straw.”

At that time, Naruko bought hair dye and tried dying her hair for the first time, but she messed up the bleaching time and made her hair bleach too much colour.

Nevertheless, it was enough to excite her.

To see Jinta leaving and shouting like this was exciting and joyful.

‘What should I do now? Time’s up.”

Naruko’s friend’s voice pulled Naruko back to reality.

“Ah. Yeah.”

“There aren't any good ones here. Let’s just play around a bit and get out of here.”

Naruko and her friends agreed to go to sing KTV with boys from other schools later. KTV partying, chatting in front of the station, or buying a one-hundred-yen snack if starving…going to Tokyo for shopping via the express at the holidays to buy exclusive things there—this was the vanity they were submerged in.

They spent their time with a serious attitude after lessons were over in their rural school.

They left their beverage cans on the bench they had sat on and left.

This was their everyday life.

“…”

Naruko imitated their behaviour.

This was difficult for Naruko, who loved to clean things up. If she were to walk forward a few steps and throw it into the trash bin beside the vending machine…she really wanted to do this, but…

“Naruko?”

“Ah, sorry. Wait for me!”

She left the can alone. She didn’t have time to care for the different thoughts in her mind. She only had to focus on what was happening before her: there was no need to care for abandoned things.

Naruko began to wonder when she had turned into such a person.

At the same moment, Menma stared at the person Naruko had now become.

(Anaru littered…)

Menma was a bit shocked, not because she wanted to reproach her for littering, but because the person Naruko once was would never have done such an act.

She did everything according to the rules and loved to clean things up. When Meiko was eating a sweet cone, she would even pick up the scraps that had fallen beside her.

(Anaru looked like she didn’t really smile…)

Her pink chin painted with lipstick was a triangle, an expression of smiling. Even her eyes were bent…but that was not the smile Meiko knew.

Having confirmed that Naruko and her friends had left, Meiko picked up the can and threw it into the trash bin. The can knocked on the bottom of the bin and made a clear crackling sound.

The leaves of the persimmon tree she was familiar with rustled in the night wind.

Meiko had gone to the family that raised her.

She had a feeling that there wasn’t an urgent need to come back here. Meiko, who had a vague memory, didn’t have a strong sense of belonging to this place. This place occurred to her as a place she had been just yesterday. This feeling scared her for no reason.

(What should I do...)

Should she enter? She was scared to enter, but she didn’t know why.

Her thighs tensed, and her thumb curled and opened unconsciously. Suddenly, a rich, nostalgic scent flew into Meiko’s nose…

“Curry!”

Meiko blurted.

It was Meiko’s favourite curry. Mashing the sweet corn grains with a mixer into a mush, and then putting a lot of other things into it makes honey-sweet curry. Her brother Satoshi liked it a lot, and her dad would also eat it with Worcestershire sauce …

When she thought of this, her confused perception of time was eased, and she regained some sense of belonging.

At this moment, the doorknob Meiko was holding onto…

“Good evening…”

She pushed it a bit, creating a little gap for her to spy inside and have a look at the living room.

“!!”

Meiko’s shoulders shivered.

When Meiko once again saw Jinta, Naruko, Chiriko, and Atsumu, all she felt was pure happiness.

But when she saw her own family members in the living room…

Her dad had grown a lot of white hair. Satoshi had grown a lot in a short time, looking like a young man. And her mum…had wrinkles on the corners of her eyes.

Changes. Everyone would change. Jinta and the others changed. Nevertheless…

(Ah…ne? What the...)

Everything was different. It was not the Honma Home she had in her memory.

They didn’t talk: dad was reading the newspaper; Satoshi was playing the DS. On the table were dishes of curry surplus…Back then, mum would say in a lively voice, “The dishes have to be put to the sink!”.

But now, mum was placing a small bowl of curry into a shrine that was installed here after Meiko's death.

Then, she rang the bell and clasped her hands, maintaining an upright sitting position, her thin socks pressing softly against the skin of her feet.

“…”

Meiko stopped moving.

She didn't remember seeing this shrine before. Suddenly realising what that meant, she refrained from approaching it—she also refrained from approaching her beloved mum.

“Mum, can you stop giving the shrine a bowl of curry every time we have curry?”

(Satori…?)

Playing the DS, Satori complained, without even the slightest intention to lift his head and look at mum. “It looks very troublesome.”

“You shouldn’t say this.”

Mum wore a face Meiko had never seen.

“Because your sister is a bit muddle-headed.”

It was as if the smallest and lightest ripple induced by the wind crossed her face. She seemed to have held back her tears, yet she nevertheless seemed to be crying…

“So, your sister may not even be aware she has passed away.”

The words of Meiko’s mother gave Meiko the creeps, making her shiver.

Following her shivering, the cup beside her was swept to the floor, making a bang sound.

“Satori. What are you doing? Go pick it up.”

“Hey. It wasn’t me!”

Satori was falsely accused by her father again. However, Meiko wasn’t even feeling the urge to protect him. She just murmured absent-mindedly.

“I know it…”

She knew little about this present world, but this was home. This home wasn’t the Honma Home she once knew, and thus she was more alarmed of this unpalatable truth.

“Menma knows that she has already passed away.”

When she got outside, the warm night wind blew against her.

The fact of her passing away was perhaps painful…much more painful than having to accept the Japanese encephalitis vaccine .

Yet she wasn't a member who shared this memory. Her mother and other family members, on the other hand, were. They must have accepted this memory and this pain for her, bearing it for her ever since.

(Sorry…)

She uttered secretly in her heart.

### Translation Notes

- ↑

- ↑ accepted by injection via a medical syringe with a needle...a really sharp needle

### 020. Chapter 5 - Menma's Wish

## Chapter 5 : Menma's Wish

I went back home and checked: Menma was not there.

Would she just vanish like this? If she really vanished, did this mean he had forgiven me, the present me?

No. It should be completely the opposite: he wanted to make me feel much more pain.

It was because I had always wanted to say ‘my dear Menma’ that I saw the hallucination of Menma.

‘The present I’ was cowardly and timid.

“Jinta, what bath salt do you want? Kusatsu or Abashiri? ”

My dad’s slovenly voice sounded from the bathroom. As usual, I told him anything was fine.

Dad didn’t have any means to reproach me for not going to school. He just acted normally and lived a leisurely life. However, it was certainly abnormal for him to permit his son, myself, to hide at home.

He even helped me to put in bath salts after he had finished bathing. This kind of care, or this kind of empathy, weighed too much on me.

Having bathed and unwinded, the first thing my dad did was not to drink beer, but to brew coffee.

Then, he also placed a cup in mum’s shrine. Crossing his legs, he sat in front of it and drank slowly with her.

“Touko, I’ll also do my best today—to do my best.”

It was a saying mum always repeated.

My mum’s body conditions weren’t good from the start. Ever since I got into senior classes of primary school, she had always been living in the hospital. I hated the view from the windows of the ward, as it was a scene that would only change colour according to the seasons. I would always find excuses to abstain from seeing her.

I didn’t want to see mum’s face changing even quicker than the view outside the window in that unchanging ward…the only thing was…

I would have never expected Menma would pass away even earlier than mum would.

That day, my father also told me not to tell mum about this. I also planned on doing so.

Yet rumours spread fast in this town, and got to the hospital swiftly. When my mum heard of this, she…

“Jinta, you have to do your best—to do your best.”

She didn’t ask me anything, and only repeated her usual motto, lightly holding me in her arms.

Her warm chest and rhythmic heart beat patterns assured me. When I was still a baby, mum would do this to me every time I cried. But at that time, mum’s chest was skinny and thin, her collarbone exposed, the rich smell of medicine running into my nose…my eyes started to become sour—the dam collapsed and tears overflowed, way beyond my control.

I wanted to see Menma—I really wanted to. I wanted to cry and sob at that skinny chest.

“What am I doing…” I couldn’t help but murmur. The chance came to me, the rare chance that I could apologise. Even if it was a hallucination, something I made up, still, wasn’t it a rare chance I could apologise?

I was lost in thought and didn’t enter the bathroom until dad had gone upstairs.

When I came back to my senses, the television had already been playing snowflakes. I didn’t turn it off, but stared at its screen, lost in abstraction.

“Jin-Ta-Kun! Come-out-and-play!”

I was woken up by this straightforward voice, filled with wondrous intonation.

As I lifted my head, a vague sense told me it was already morning. Dad seemed to have already gone to work. I stood up, shaking, my scapula making creaking sounds.

“Jin-Ta-Kun! Come-out-and-play!”

Although I wanted to neglect her, I couldn’t do so. This annoying sound that had the same tone and the same repeated greeting sound—ah, it was Hisakawa.

Reluctantly, I opened the door. Hisakawa had turned his scooter’s throttle wide open at the bright morning.

“I’ve come to meet you, Jintan!”

“Hah? To meet me…”

“Yesterday night, I heard the broadcast ‘Pray Like the Stars’ at my workplace. I felt that wishes are things to be fulfilled! So I’ve thought over it!”

“I told you. There is no way…”

“Ah. That’s okay! I’ve already called everyone!”

“Haah?” I was so surprised, even my voice shuddered. According to Hisakawa, he had already informed every member of the Super Peace Busters of the appearance of Menma, and everyone had agreed to meet.

“Everyone becomes so serious when they think of Menma. This is love!”

“…” It was too suspicious.

I wanted to drop out, but I dismissed this idea and went with the flow.

“I understand…let me change my clothes first. Wait for a moment.”

“Oh! I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes, my partner!”

While I changed my shirt, I thought to myself: Hisakawa must have filtered my trauma, my hallucinations with his ‘Poppo filtering machine’ and exaggerated it. Originally I had been alleged to be sick; now I was bound to be reckoned sick.

I remembered the eyes of Yukiatsu when he looked down on me—if I didn’t see them now, most likely I would incessantly remember those eyes he held.

I wore the most neat and tidy clothes I had and stretched my hand towards the nylon hat that was a few degrees lower than my eye view.

“Forget it.”

I didn’t want Yukiatsu to scoff at me again. No, I didn't want anyone to scoff at me. Even if I had changed completely, I still had some remains of self-esteem...

...although I knew that self-esteem would only aggravate this situation.

### Translation Notes

- ↑ bath salts named after Japanese places

### 021. Chapter 6 - The French Fry Deity

## Chapter 6 : The French Fry Deity

(Friends, friends…they say it as if they are a religion.)

Sitting in McDonald's, beaten by a hit song being played inside, Chiriko stirred her strawberry milkshake with a straw.

The song praised friends, saying that no matter how time flies, friends would never change their trust on each other. In this situation, it was undoubtedly a song that got on her nerves.

Yet, Atsumu, sitting opposite of her, just drank hot coffee with a calm and indifferent face.

“Do you think he will really come?”

“I don’t know…”

Atsumu fiddled with his phone, looking at Tetsudo’s message.

They had diverged and weren’t the close friends they were, yet Tetsudo clung to his neck from the back and forced him to exchange email addresses with him as well as Chiriko, as Tetsudo was exhilarated by having a phone at last.

The text and the context of Tetsudo’s message were totally irrelevant.

It was about Jinta's ability to see Meiko.

Meiko wanted Jinta, herself, and everyone from the Super Peace Busters to fulfill her wish.

She also said she wanted Jinta to explain everything to everyone, so she decided to let everyone gather at McDonald's at afternoon.

“Is Yadomi even doing this for real?”

“I think so. When we saw him last time, didn’t he dash around, calling Menma, Menma?”

“That’s far from good. I feel that his personality, even his eyes, changed. But, to let us gather here…what is he scheming?”

“Let him do whatever he want. Let’s hear what’s he going to say. He changed so lot in just less than five years, don’t you think this is funny?”

“I don’t have such kind of interest.”

“I think it’s very funny.”

Chiriko peeped at her black-hearted friend drinking coffee, and lightly squinted her eyes.

“How anticipating.”

It was a playful tone, yet his eyes were dead serious. Only his mouth was smiling…how black-hearted. Right, from that day on, Chiriko had always been looking at Atsumu’s fake smiling face.

(If you couldn’t smile, it would be fine if you didn’t.)

The door of the entrance opened. The staff said, with a small nasal sound and the tone of anime characters, ‘Welcome’.

“…”

(Ahah…There was another face devoid of smile.)

“Oh. That’s…”

“Anjo?”

Naruko, who had entered the store, went to the table without even greeting them. When she went to pick something to eat, she felt her whole back to be extremely tense.

Having gotten her coke and fries, she grudgingly soothed her face and trudged to them.

“Hello.”

With that being said softly, she found a seat beside Chiriko and sat on it.

“I didn’t even recognise you at first. You’ve changed quite a lot.”

With a fake smile on his face, Atsumu looked all over Naruko bluntly.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean literally.”

Naruko averted her eyes and looked around the restaurant. Her eyes were obviously searching for ‘him’.

“When did he stop going to school?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Isn’t it normal to ask you? You guys study in the same high school.”

“…”

“Can’t you persuade him? After all, aren’t friends friends regardless of age?”

Looking at Atsumu smiling badly, Chiriko knew what he had been thinking—indeed, he had been very aware of the song the restaurant was playing.

At this time, Naruko thought while she drank her coke.

(What a displeasing guy.)

Five years were such a long and imaginable time. And having met these two people after five years, she felt they were the same as they looked—as displeasing as the uniform of their school they were wearing. Nevertheless, she didn’t have a strong feeling of discomfort to idle around with them.

Compared to those friends she would always chat with, she didn’t have to fake her look and actions when she was with them.

Why was this? Only this point discomforted her.

(Yadomi…Would he really come?)

Naruko received Tetsudo’s message while she was strolling around with her new friends.

When she saw the message, she wanted to cry.

(Actually…there isn’t a need for me to be here.)

She took a french fry and threw it in her mouth.

Among McDonald’s french fries, there would always be a few abnormally delicious ‘french fry deities’. The surface was crispy, yet the inside was so soft it would melt apart, as if having the taste of the fried french fries of expensive and high-ranking French restaurants, though she hadn’t eaten them.

Most of the other french fries were dry, which was good, but that sensation of having a chance to eat the ‘french fry deity’ was beyond words. Should one be unfortunate, perhaps there wouldn’t be a single one of them in a pack of fries.

The one Naruko randomly took was the ‘french fry deity’, but…

(…Mmm)

The Naruko today couldn’t bluntly enjoy its sensation. How rare it was for her to meet a ‘french fry deity’…

Silence swiftly engulfed the three who hadn’t seen each other for ages.

That day, their brains came back to their senses.

“Jintan…Do you like Menma?”

“Tell the truth. Super Peace Busters should not hide things from each other.”

“Who would like such an ugly girl!”

After so many times of trying to remember that piece of memory, some divergence had occurred. That divergence would change according to the views of different people.

Nevertheless, the soft smile Meiko had on her face after being said by Jinta to be an ‘ugly girl’ was almost the same in all three of their memories.

They hadn’t forgotten this scene all these five years.

Should they be careless, this scene would rush into their hearts.

When they thought of it, they would feel like suffocating, and some part of their body would feel cramped and folded into a ball.

So they tried not to touch that memory…but why…

Why did he have to deliberately pull out that memory and its henceforth pain?

“Ohyoohyoo. Ohyoo!”

Following the opening sound of the automatic door was a loud greeting. Everyone could tell who he was instantly—and also the person standing beside Tetsudo…

The three of them looked at him reluctantly. They raised their heads slowly out of hesitation.

This was some reason that differed among them.

I entered the store with my flip-flops. I could see that the Super Peace Busters were already waiting for me at a corner in the restaurant.

Yesterday I saw Atsumu, who I had never seen for a long time. He was sitting opposite to Anjo and Tsurumi. They didn't seem to have talked much.

“Ohyo ohyo. Ohyooo!” Tetsudo greeted them without paying any heed to the atmosphere. The people inside slightly lifted their heads.

“I still have work to do after this,” Anjo said, greatly displeased.

Completely the opposite, Matsuyuki looked to be in a very good mood.

He said with a smile, “I heard you’re looking for Menma? She appeared in front of you so uneasily, but she’s lost again?”

“Ah…” I couldn’t say a word back.

Tsurumi glared at Matsuyuki, tilting her eyes. Anjo was playing around with something that was decorating her nails…indeed, this scene utterly deviated from what Tetsudo said about everyone being serious for love.

“Oh, Anaru, you bought some fries?”

Anjo, with a bored face, vibrantly lifted her head for the first time.

“Don’t call me like that!”

“Why? Anaru is Anaru!”

Tetsudo’s speech was coherent to Menma’s opinion.

“We haven’t seen for such a long time. Give me some fries. I want the salty one!”

Neglecting Tetsudo’s idiotic speech, Matsuyuki slightly tilted his body to the table.

“Let’s get back to business…Yadomi, did Menma say she wanted to fulfil a wish?”

“Ah…”

“Stop speaking, Matsuyuki. You’re being too black-hearted.”

“Why should I? I’ll also be helping. I will also help fulfil Menma’s wish. If I did that, maybe Menma would go back to your side?”

Abruptly, I discovered.

Although Matsuyuki used a swift tone from head to toe, there were no smile in his eyes. It was just a dead stare, prying onto how I would react.

“No, no…I’ve said that already. That was just my hallucination…so…”

“So, I’ve said I wanted to help. Please don’t mind.”

Why should I not mind? This were the ravings of a shut-in. Why should you be so serious when speaking to me?

There wasn’t even time to conclude an answer.

“Oh yeah! Then let us first find out Menma’s wish!”

Tetsudo and Matsuyuki then started a meaningless and wavering discussion. “Menma wants to get yo’s signature…she didn’t get Bobobo’s special purse…she also wants to capture Dialga in Nokemon ...oh, this may be it. How nice it was to reminisce these things. I started to think I could get motivated.

Nevertheless, the only ones motivated were the boys. Anjo stopped playing with her nails and used her teeth to bit lightly on them instead. When she was small, she had this kind of habit—she wouldn’t care how much nail polish she would swallow when she was in a bad mood. Tsurumi only drooped her head, starting at the table.

And I…only slightly opening my mouth, I could only, quite defeated, watch Matsuyuki and Tetsudo slowly coming to a conclusion of ‘Menma’s wish’.

“So we’re going to let Nadomi play Nokemon!”

“Tsk!...” Suddenly being called, I lost my defence. And when they saw my blatant embarrassment…

“Is it too scary for you to get out of your home?”

Matsuyuki showed me a smile with an obvious malicious intent.

That cold, high, and erect nose…let me even forget my impatience and anger. I could only think in my heart what a handsome guy he was.

“Anjo, you work in a game shop, right? Could you sell us cheaply that Nokemon game…it should be the Diamond Version.”

“Why does it have to be me?”

“Tsurumi and I will be responsible for checking the internet transactions to see if Bobobo’s special purse is there. Tetsudo…you will be responsible for getting yo’s signature. Remember to be quick.”

“Eheh. Why is it me?”

“”You’re deciding things by yourself,” Tsurumi reproached. But Matsuyuki only said playfully, “it’s decided.”

Then his thin lips bent into a new moon.

“The Super Peace Busters are formed once again.”

And under Tetsudo’s strong request, we were forced to exchange our email addresses.

Save Tetsudo and I, the others' email addresses had all changed.

Then, I had to go and fetch the game.

“Bother. Why do I have to…Ahah, this isn’t it either.”

In the storage room of the Chuuko game store, I was staring at Anjo who was looking for the Nokemon game.

Eh, she was so big. She had really grown a lot.

She was wearing a super-short skirt, so if anything were done to her, it would be her own fault of wearing this outfit, I thought. However, when this woman spoke, anyone’s mood of masturbating would be gone…

Anjo, who retrieved the Nokemon game with much difficulty, carefully and attentively put the game card in the plastic bag, and handed it to me.

“Here. Four thousand and eight-hundred yen.”

“Four thousand…isn’t this the same as the market price?”

“This is a game from five years ago. It has appreciated for ages.”

Feeling helpless, I paid and grudgingly stretched out my hand to receive the plastic bag…but Anjo didn’t loosen her grip, glaring at me.

“What are you scheming, actually?”

“Hah?”

“Pulling a prank with a dead person. You suck.”

Bam, Anjo loosened the bag. The Nokemon game was abruptly thrown to my side, and Anjo turned away and left, striding away.

Pulling a prank with a dead person?

When my senses came back to me, I had already cried out at Anjo’s back.

“You say I’m pulling a prank with Menma? Don’t be ridiculous!”

Even I was freaked out by my own angry howl. Anjo stopped walking, and violently turned her body around as if she wanted to dash to me.

“The one being ridiculous is you, who can always carelessly say the name of a dead person…”

“Don’t say she’s a dead person!”

“It’s all because of me!” Anjo cried out loud this time. Her eyes welled with tears before I had noticed.

“It’s all because of those words I said…that she would!”

Anjo lifted the back of her hand to wipe her tears. Some black colour from the mascara on her thick and distinct eyelashes smeared out.

“So Menma would…become…a dead person.”

“…”

I was speechless.

It wasn’t your fault, but mine…I wanted to answer this originally. However, when Anjo and I had the same thought, this allowed Anjo’s feelings to rush into mine in these years, making me unable to act under this doubled heaviness.

Anjo was leaving, the low-quality high-heeled shoes making clacking sounds. While I listened in silence, I thought, perhaps…if Menma hadn’t come to my place, but rather had gone to Anjo’s, it would have also been appropriate and right.

There were only the dim flashes of the screen of the video game in the darkness.

There were croaking sounds of the frogs outside the window. In synch with these croaking sounds, I pressed on the buttons mechanically like a machine.

Go, Pikachu .

What the hell am I doing—playing Nokemon.

The adorable enemies had round, watery eyes. I attacked them repeatedly to weaken them as much as possible, and then I threw a Nokemon ball at them to catch them as my companion.

What feelings do they have?

Having had the hell punched out of them for no reason, and now being enticed to become friends by sweet words, and also having to be trapped in a dark, small place.

Stuffed in a backpack, brought everywhere, and forced to go outside and fight when suddenly someone said, ‘go!’…Would they really take these inhumane players as true companions or friends? I was uncertain.

Besides, what are friends actually?

At that time, everyone in the Super Peace Busters was certainly friends.

We cried out nicknames at each other, played till the sun dropped—we were certainly friends according to the conventions.

I was the captain, and everyone followed me everywhere.

Everyone would gladly accept any suggestion I made…but in fact, perhaps they hated this; they hated listening to my orders.

Menma.

Anjo too…she cried today because she thought of Menma. She really wanted to apologise to Menma.

However, Menma only appeared in front of me.

Perhaps I was the only one, at that time, to have the sense of belonging as a leader—maybe this was the reason.

On the game screen, Pikachu hit the enemy with Thunderbolt. The enemy twitched as it was electrified. What a super effect that was.

With some hesitation, I threw out a Nokemon ball and easily caught the enemy.

### Translation Notes

- ↑

- ↑ go watch pokemon

- ↑ basically pokemon

- ↑ go and play pokemon already

### 022. Chapter 7 - The Night of Meiko

## Chapter 7 : The Night of Meiko

This was the second night Meiko had come back.

Quietly, she looked at a distance in the dark without blinking. Those eyes were more sullen than the dark. In that illusory void lay every feeling she could think of for Meiko.

Meiko always acted against the fact that she had been forgotten.

She always held onto a place in her heart, with an out of tone voice—she would pay all her effort and strength in her prayers.

So, her wish was a lie.

Meiko complained—let the liar disappear. Let her reveal her true self under the sunlight.

However, she failed to even put this into words and speak them out.

She could only let others to decide what kind of girl she was. She couldn't enforce her own wishes on others.

For she was this kind of a girl…

So until now, she was still here, not yet disappeared, and continued to stare at a distance. And with the flow of time, her contours became even clearer.

And thus Meiko continued to grow.

Then, her hair fluttered in the night wind.

Frog croaks sounded from the darkness.

“Croak…”

She started to imitate the croaking of the frogs. Nevertheless, frogs don’t actually ‘croak’. Instead, they make a sound like some kind of instrument…a sound that only frogs could make.

From when did people think that frogs ‘croak’?

(It’s so tiring…)

She only wanted to say it, even though she wasn't clear whether she was really tired.

Menma had been strolling everywhere today, walking here and there. She seemed to be hungry, yet she wasn't clear of this fact.

Time flew past in such a slow pace.

In the morning, the sky would turn light blue, in the afternoon a blue mixed with white, then gradually mixed with red, in the night dark blue, and finally pitch black.

Menma saw this change of colours by gazing head high to the sky at different places.

There were a lot of things Menma knew in these places; however, there wasn't anything she was very clear. Every single thing changed here or there.

“I really want to meet everyone.”

Menma mumbled, trying to stop the tears that welled in her eyes from overflowing.

I couldn't face my family. I was so scared I could only look into the distance, not daring to get any closer. I must admit I wasn't in any case scared when I saw Jintan and the others.

I hope my family could forget me, but I hope everyone in the Super Peace Busters wouldn't.

This feeling I dwell on is the same—be it Menma or Meiko.

### 023. Chapter 8 - My Dear Menma

## Chapter 8 : My Dear Menma

“Wu…Yeah. At last, I caught it!!”

The room was still as dark and quiet as ever, so quiet I could hear the ticking sounds of the clock…a day had already passed.

For twenty-three hours, from morning to night, I hadn't eaten anything.

I had finally caught Dialga . With all my strength, the intelligence of an adult, and the help of rare books and technology, I had finally caught it.

But of course I didn't feel bad for playing games all day long, for recently I got through every day the same way or the other. Speaking of this, Matsuyuki was witty about letting me to take up this job of playing Nokemon.

In short, I mailed Hisakawa a message about this. I have no need to report to Matsuyuki. He wasn't the captain anyway.

‘Dialga Capture: Success’

That was all I wrote and sent. Let me eat something…I think there was still some round bread in the fridge…I thought about it.

“Mmm?”

My phone rang: it was a message.

I hadn’t ever contacted with my dad over mailing, let alone friends. So for that moment I couldn't figure out who the sender was.

It was Hisakawa. I opened it and looked…

“Menma Found. Catching Failed.”

My mind went black for a moment: I couldn’t comprehend.

Inhaling deeply, I looked at the mail again. Then, I couldn't help but cry out in alarm.

“Menma…found?!”

No sooner had I finished speaking than my neck was hooked all of a sudden. My upper body shook, my breathing difficult.

“What? Did you call for Menma?!”

“!!”

It was a honey-sweet voice. I slowly called upon all the senses in my body to confirm the situation I was in.

Clinging on my neck was a white small wrist. My ears could feel a warm and milky breathing sensation…

“Ah…ah. Ah…”

I couldn't move.

Compared to feeling surprised, I felt gladder; compared to feeling glad, I felt…what was it? My nose was bloated. If I were to turn my head now I was sure I would cry.

Yesterday we met so sudden I couldn't fix in my mind on what had happened. But after some time now, I had time to think and clear things up…even if it all happened out the blue, I could accept it in some sense.

This is another chance that I met Menma…I-am-here-.

“Hey. Jintan?”

I could sense Menma’s glare me at my face. She hung her head on my shoulders, looking at me with her aqua-blue eyes. I could even feel the colour of her eyes.

There was something I had always wanted to do and that I had practiced for numerous times. That was right…First, I would have to start from here.

“Jin-tan? Are you hearing what I’m saying…Ah!”

I loosened off Menma’s hand, and sat uprightly, facing directly to her.

Then, I gradually straightened my right arm.

“Heh?” Astonished, Menma’s adorable expression reflected upon my retina, inducing the vigorous thumping of my heart. Nevertheless, I had to do this and I couldn't stop. I put my right hand on my forehead.

That was the pose ‘my dear Menma’ that I had repeated many times!

“M…my. M…my dear!!”

This was the best moment I could unveil the ‘my dear Menma’ after all these years!

“Yooh, ayoo, thank you for waiting everybody!”

“…eh?”

I froze. The ‘my dear Menma’ I wanted to say for years was interrupted just like that. Menma laughed out loud.

“That line yo, wasn't wrong yo—it was wrong, yo! You have to say it like this: say it with your hand curled like a cone and place it in front of your mouth!”

Menma started to repeatedly perform that yo line. I had always thought that my ‘my dear Menma’ could win that yo thing…

“Indeed…I couldn't win over it.”

“Eheh?”

My apology failed. However, Menma’s smiling face warmed my heart bit by bit.

“Ahahahah?!”

Menma suddenly spotted the Nokemon on the quilt.

“That’s Dialga! That’s brilliant! When did you start playing that, Jintan?!”

Menma was ranting out loud, her eyes flashing with beam.

I had captured the Dialga, yet Menma was still here.

It seemed I had messed up her wish. Nevertheless, it was a wish that I thought so myself, not what Menma had actually meant.

Menma glared at the Nokemon with concentration. “Here. This shoulder place that is bulged is so cool!” She said to herself on and on, overflowing with joy.

Perhaps it was only a hallucination. Nevertheless, the Menma in front of me was truly the Menma I knew. It was the Menma that would be threw off in ecstasy by a Dialga.

So, I made a promise quietly.

“I would certainly help you fulfill your wish.”

“Yeah? That’s too soft. What did you say? Can you say it again?”

“…No. Yo.”

### Translation Notes

- ↑ pokemon

- ↑ yo is a trademark line

### 024. Chapter 9 - She Appeared

## Chapter 9 : She Appeared

Sleeping deeply on the bed, Menma breathed repeatedly with the same pattern. The cheap sofa had a hard texture, sticking my skin, driving me difficult to sleep in a place I wasn’t used to. I looked closely at Menma’s ear, letting my imaginations go wild: This visualisation was too refined and was of too high a quality for a hallucination—did I have a talent for a model designer?

Another thought than ran through my mind here and there was the fact that I was alone in a room with a girl. Since she was a hallucination, then it would be fine if I slightly touch her. This couldn’t be counted as a crime. No! You couldn’t be having bad thoughts toward Menma! As you are I, I couldn’t let you have such thoughts…what a meaningless thinking combat. Sleeping sweatily on a sofa made with artificial leather, hearing the buzzing sounds of summer insects as well as Menma’s breathing…this was all too real. As I pondered back and forth, I got through a blazingly, burning hot night.

“Jintan. Good morning!”

“Mmm…wa?!”

At last, I fell asleep unconsciously after all that effort, now I was woken up by that bluntly weight on my stomach—it was Menma.

“The weather is so fine! An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening, right?”

“Ah…”

The sunlight scattered behind Menma as she softly smiled. Her innocent glow lashed on my sleepy mind.

She was the hallucination I made, an illusion. Although I wanted to keep a distance from this ridiculous ‘real thing’, I seemed not too resistant in the depths of my heart.

Nevertheless, it was a lie to say I completely didn’t want to resist. But staying with Menma like this would kill away my fear.

Because she was really…adorable.

“…Wu.”

“Eh? Jintan. What’s going on? Your face looks terrible.”

“I am terrible!!”

Ding dong ding dong, ding dong.

At this moment, the doorbell, which malfunctioned because of poor contact, rang in an over-spirited rhythm.

“Eh, a guest?”

An over-spirited…seems like a person.

“Right!”

Abruptly remembering the email Hisakawa sent last night, I opened my phone and checked once again…the content of the email was…

“What…Eh?!”

Menma spied on my phone from aside.

“Wuagh!” I bended my body, trying to hide it in reflex, but it was too late. Menma’s eyes were beaming with radiance.

“That’s incredible! That’s incredible, Jintan!”

“Hah? Incredible? You…”

“You already have your own phone! That’s incredible! It’s like being an adult!”

So she was talking about that .

Menma seemed to have missed what the email was about. Probably, it was before she came back here…

“Let me ask you, Menma…”

“Yeah?”

“Have you went to Hisakawa’s place?”

No sooner had I finished speaking than Menma’s eyes became even brighter, even five times greater than the time she saw my phone.

“Hah? Hisakawa, you mean Poppo? Waghh…Menma haven’t seen Poppo yet!!”

“Mmm…” Perhaps I shouldn’t have said this.

“Ne, Jintan! I want to go to Poppo’s place. I really want to!”

I want to…I want to…I want to...as if chanting a spell, Menma violently shook my shoulders…

“All right.”

“Wuaghhh!”

Looking at the naïve and joyful Menma with my eyes slanted, I could feel that somewhere near my stomach became a bit turbulent. Such being the case, what could have possibly caused Menma's appearance?

Did Hisakawa also see this Menma illusion?

Nevertheless, it wasn’t strange, though it actually was a bit strange. Yet, Menma was here, though she surely was an illusion.

Accordingly, it is not totally inconceivable that others could also make such Menma illusions. Eh, of course this was impossible to understand for usual people.

However, however…

Ding dong ding dong, ding dong.

“Ah, it’s the guest again!”

I completely forgot that the doorbell was still ringing. Usually, I wouldn’t open the door even if there were a guest. But, now, perhaps because of some turbulence in my heart, I even dashed downstairs and opened the door in a hurry…

“Ahhahaha!”

I saw the back of a little kid dashing away.

No wonder it rang repeatedly.

“…”

My heart thumped.

There were irascible cicada’s buzzing sounds everywhere, the diminishing sounds of little kids, and the asphalt road which relfected the strong, bright sunlight…

“Wa. So it's bad kids.”

When I came back to my senses, Menma was already standing behind me.

The running kids somehow looked like us back then. Their backs, also…

Standing beside me was Menma, who had already grown up.

“Mmm? What’s the matter, Jintan?”

“No. Nothing.”

I had a feeling of my nose swelling up again.

I averted my eyes from Menma…

“…Then! My pee was drawing a strange sign, it should be the Δ sign! Then it really appeared!”

When I came to the secret base, Hisakawa excitedly began to explain things to me with his vigorous body language. From his look, I could tell he wasn’t lying, his actions were swift and light despite his heavy stance…

“Poppo?! Are you kidding me, is this Poppo?!”

Menma was even more excited than Hisakawa.

“Did you really see Menma?”

“Certainly! Maybe my trauma became more acute. This time I’ll also become cool!”

“Cool! Cool!”

Menma repeatedly recited the word ‘cool’ as if she really liked it, presenting this word to Hisakawa. But Hisakawa completely neglected Menma; or should I say, he wasn’t aware of her. Seemingly pleased, he then had a spur of the moment.

“Then, I had a surprising idea, do you want to know?”

“No. I don’t.”

“I want to know. I’m so eager to know!”

“Ah. It's my fault. Please. I’ll give you pocket money for you to spend.”

“Oh. Menma wants one-hundred-yan!”

To let this conversation between Menma, whom only I can see, and I to successfully continue, it looks like I’ll need much more practise.

“Spit it. What surprising idea do you have…”

“Oh! It’s that. That!”

Having that said, Hisakawa handed an ugly, doodled promotional leaflet to me.

“Heh…Let’s hold a big party for finding Menma before the summer break ends…?”

“Waaaa…Are we finding Menma?!”

‘Enjoy the cool air and BBQ while finding Menma’s wish. Let’s speak to our hearts’ content! ※ Bring your own food!’ was also written on it with ugly writings along with a very surprising illustration.

“Menma, enjoying the cool air, and BBQ…I don’t get how it matches your theme.”

“Don’t mind that! It’s only some minor details…it’ll definitely be very lively. Don’t you think it will be very fun?”

“Fun! Menma wants to find Menma!”

Menma seemd to be very happy, jumping here and there around Hisakawa.

“Even if you want to…everyone might not come…”

“They will! They came to Mcdonalds!”

Mmm…I was speechless, as they really did come.

Do those people have so much time to squander? Or should I say, do they really believe Menma’s thing?

Anjo seemed, however, incredulous…

“Look. Wasn’t I responsible for the ‘yo’ thing? However, I’ve been quite running out of money lately. If Menma’s true wish is to get yo’s signature…I want to see Menma and ask her whether she wants to change another wish!”

As Hisakawa spoke without stopping, Menma responded to him by saying, “Ayoo?! Wuaghh!”

It feels like I was being fooled around.

“I’m so anxious for the night, Jintan!”

On the way home, Menma looked elated. She incessantly kicked the small pebals on the road pointlessly.

“I didn’t say I would go.”

“Then, say you would go!”

“Hah?”

“Ah. Then, maybe this is the wish Menma wants to be fulfilled? Menma wants to have a look at Menma?”

“My, you’re so good at weaving reasons, blaming everything at your wish.”

Cocking her head and acting innocent, Menma said, “Mmm?” Hell, I’m getting furious.

How can such a person have such an adorable face?

I hated my own potentials of a model designer. Were I to make it more ugly, I wouldn’t have to be fooled around by her…

“Maybe I still will.”

“Yeah?”

“No. Nothing.”

“Ne, ne. Jintan’s always saying, ‘no, nothing.’ Is Jintan from a planet of naught?”

“…”

“Ah, right, BBQ, What should we bring? Menma likes German sausages. I want German sausages!”

As Menma, who can fool me around even without an adorable face, repeated her request, I gave in and said in a soft voice, forcing my last struggle.

“I think Japanese sausages are better.”

“Eeehh?!”

### Translation Notes

- ↑ Delta has the same sound in Japanese as ‘appeared’

### 025. Chapter 10 - BBQ

## Chapter 10 : BBQ

“They’re coming! Welcome to the fascinating place for buddies!!”

Under the shadows of the trees, the dark and thick smoke induced from the BBQ rose in spirals, covering the area.

Hisakawa was holding a circular fan, and his head was wrapped with a towel. Anjo and Tsurumi had already come. It was an ardous mystery of why we could gather so easily. Do they really have no friends at all? I couldn’t help unnecessarily worrying for them.

“Heheh, I’ve prepared the grill! A man lent it to me at my workplace!”

“Food? I only brought some German sausages…”

“I brought candles.”

“Heh?”

“Candles.”

Tsurumi brought a shopping bag in front. It was a heavy bag, and as she had said, it was filled with fragant candles.

“Aren’t we calling upon Menma? These props used in spiritual stories should be essential.”

“Ah. Oh…Then, where’s the food for BBQ?”

“I don’t really eat in the night. Don’t care for me.”

She was overly having her own way in doing things. Nevertheless, this was Tsurumi, she was like this before, but it didn’t seem this serious back then?

“Hey. Tsuruko-san only cares for herself. Oh but willful woman are of my liking!”

“What an idiot.”

“Ah. Because I thought everyone would bring food, and I was afraid I would buy repeated things, so…”

Seemed a bit embarrassed, Anjo opened the plastic bag she was holding on. Inside the bag was a cheap set of fireworks.

“Uh. What do you want to do with this?”

“Playing with fireworks? We aren’t children anymore.”

“What?!”

“Calm down, calm down, calm down! Everyone, settle down. We can stuff ourselves full with this!”

Having that said, Hisakwa opened the lid next to the grill. Inside was some bubbling, slimy liquid.

“This is called Kiru. It’s a sweet congee made of milk and rice!”

With her eyes gleaming, Menma looked at the liquid, speaking in astonishment, “Wa! It looks like vomit!”

“Don’t say such things that will spoil our appetite.”

I carelessly continued what Menma had said. With a “uh?”, Anjo looked at me surprisedly. And I quickly evaded her eyes in panic.

“All in all, this couldn’t be counted as a barbecue.”

“Should I make this into a teppanyaki ?”

“I’m good with just German sausages.”

Consequently, the ‘Menma Finding Meeting’ started at last.

Anjo was cutting the sausages.

Tsurumi was randomly placing candles between trees. And Hisakawa was regulating the fire of the oven.

We didn’t even speak, except for the ‘how are you doing’ shouts by Hisakawa from time to time. Nevertheless, out of my expectation, there was some kind of noiseness.

That was because of Menma.

Just then, Menma was going from here to there between people, asking ‘the sausages had to be cut to little crabs!’, or ‘Poppo, the fire is huge! It’s a big poppo, big poppo !!”

This noisiness covered the sense of disharmony among us who hadn’t worked together for ages.

It was a bit forced, lonely noisiness.

For the only one to hear this noisiness was I. Save I, no one could hear Menma.

“Hey, Yadomi.”

“Hah!”

When Tsurumi suddenly invited me to a conversation, my stomach twitched. Though from appearance, Anjo and Hisakwa had changed, for some reason, I thought Tsurumi was the person with the biggest change.

“You said you saw Menma…that Menma had come back. Are you speaking the truth?”

“Um? If you don’t believe it, why are you still coming?”

“Yeah? Because I want to find you for the answer.”

Tsurumi said peacefully. She didn’t look at me while she spoke, so what hid behind her eyes, including those feelings, I didn’t have that faintest idea…

“”What do you want to find me for…”

Rustle!

“!?”

There was a lot of noise at the woods behind. Everyone looked at the source of the sound, and they saw some white light shining out of the crevices between the trees.

I could almost hear who was gulping. At this moment, my mind became blank: is this…

“Menma?”

But Menma is at my side? When I murmured in my subconscious…

“Yo.”

Walking out from there, Matsuyuki lightly waved his hand.

“Eh…What, so it was Yukiatsu!!”

The tense atmosphere softened at an instant. Tsurumi seemed to have closed her eyes slightly.

“I brought some steak and also a few varieties of vegetables. There are also spice and olive oil…”

“Oh yeah! You’re surely Yukiatsu! You’re completely different from those useless women!”

“What are you saying?!”

Listening to Hisakawa and Anjo’s quarrel, I heaved a sigh. The other Menma…I could really believe in such a thing—how dumb.

Yes. No one, save Hisakawa, would believe in Menma’s existence…

“Ah. But you really freaked me out! I thought Menma would really run out…”

“If you’re talking about Menma, I saw her just a while ago.”

Matsuyuki said something astonishing with a light-hearted tone. His tone was so natural that one couldn’t even notice what he was saying.

“Menma?!”

But Hisakawa caught his words that were drifting away.

If you’re talking about Menma, I saw her just a while ago.

“What?”

“Heh? Menma is here?”

I couldn’t help turning around to look at Menma, who was looking at me too. Yes. Menma was here. The thing was…

“You’re lying!”

“Really? Where’s her? Where’s Menma?”

“There. At the lawn.”

“Waah! So there’s another Menma…let’s go have a look, Jintan!!”

Menma had already dashed away. “Ah…” at the moment of my hesitation, Hisakawa raced behind her frantically.

“Wuaghh! Menma, wait for me! I’ll give you some German sausages!”

“Ah, Wait!”

“Hey.”

There was an icy voice behind my back, freezing my steps that were about to leave. The corner of Matsuyuki’s mouth showed a soft smile.

“Seems that it isn’t only you who can see Menma.”

“What?!”

What was his smile supposed to mean?

Matsuyuki…did you…did you really see Menma…?

“Hey. Jintan! Let’s quickly find her!”

“Ah. Okay!”

Being hurried by Hisakawa, I also ran away. Since some time I was unaware of, the sweat covering on my skin had splitted apart like a film: one layer that belonged to others, and one mine. Every kind of sophisticated feeling was sticked on my body like glue, making me maximally displeased.

### Translation Notes

- ↑

- ↑ poppo is just another name for the fire, not Hisakawa

### 026. Chapter 11 - Labyrinth in the Dark Woods

## Chapter 11 : Labyrinth in the Dark Woods

“Menma. Where are you!!”

As he called for Menma, Tetsudo thought, it would be great if Jinta could sing with him…but this wish, sadly, cannot be granted.

Jinta and Naruko were gone already.

Sigh, this is great already, Tetsudo thought. To have Jinta still willing to mention Menma was already the greatest of all.

Back then Jinta was everyone’s leader.

Jinta was also the one who brought Tetsudo, with a thin and small body, and dumb, into Super Peace Busters. Jinta was very smart, and he excelled in sports, like a glittering hero. He would also speak to Tetsudo with a smile as brilliant as sunflowers in the summer.

“Your nickname...because you’re called Tetsudo…let’s call you Poppo!”

Poppo. This nickname to Tetsudo, who was often neglected in the class, was undoubtedly a new name that signified a fresh start.

He knew about Jinta’s unattendance in high school.

But he thought this unimportant. There are many more things out there in the world, and Jinta could see them.

Then, when they met again after five years, Jinta completely assented his idea.

He said Menma’s name once again.

This was more important than anything to Tetsudo. It didn’t matter if Menma truly existed or was just a hallucination.

Something that had always been clinging to ‘Menma’ in Jinta’s heart was being brought out. And as such, the Super Peace Busters gathered together again.

Jinta was indeed still everyone’s captain. From Tetsudo’s perspective, he was the strongest and eternal hero.

He just wanted to cry out loud—to cry out loud in his heart the name of Menma.

“Menma. Menma!”

As Tetsudo cried, Menma also followed him and cried. This name, Menma, reverberated in the dark woods. The light coming from Tetsudo’s flashlight reflected on Menma’s chest, coagulating into a shadow.

Menma could, from Tetsudo’s calling her own name, feel the happiness and joy of being one of the Super Peace Busters, albeit she shouldn’t exist here. She was also afraid for herself now wasn’t one of the Super Peace Busters.

Happy, yet afraid—it wasn’t an even split: the happiness was the major part. After all, it was a joyful event to be with everyone here.

“Hey. Menma-san!!”

Tetsudo could call upon her name. This was indeed some source of her happiness.

“Menma!!”

Meiko also cried, cryiny out without attention something sunk deep in her heart, and spewing it out.

“Haah…Haah.”

As Naruko ran, she thought wanderingly.

(Why would I follow them when I am wearing high-heel shoes…)

Every time she stepped on the uneven road, her high-heel shoes would sprain her ankle— at least let me change into platform shoes .

Not only her high-heel shoes but also her clothes and nails had been armed. A band with poor elasticity bound her ankle, giving her the feeling of being strapped tightly. She now could let her become more confident, stand before people, and face their eyes. She now could get along with her early-maturing friends without being timid…

Nevertheless, does she really need to arm herself in front of the Super Peace Busters? She didn’t know.

Besides, she gradually forgot the reason why she was running. Naruko didn’t believe in Jinta’s words. In fact, everyone didn’t. It was just Atsumu trying to tease Jinta, for he didn’t like him from the very start. And Chiriko’s thoughts were hard to understand no matter when. Back then she was already an early-maturing child who would look at things from a side imperturbably. And Tetsudo maybe…truly believed in him.

(But…even if this was the case, isn’t this awful?)

The first one to propose was perhaps Jinta.

But if it wasn’t Tetsudo who cohered to him, Atsumu who fanned the flames, and Chiriko who neglected it…the one being manipulated would actually be Jinta.

Right, Jinta was the real victim, Naruko thought in some part of her heart.

Although she threw a tantrum at Jinta at the workplace for his saying Menma’s name, her anger wasn’t simply because Jinta would say a deceased person’s name so esaily, but also some subtle thoughts she had.

Jinta could see Menma.

If this was the truth—of course, the truth looking at it from some perspective—then every one in Little Peace Busters who had been playing around with Jinta’s feelings was unforgivable. This certainly included herself. She knew she shouldn’t have joined in such a despiteful act.

But she would always let the people around her to affect her.

Jinta’s back was fluttering in her eyes, and she want to cease his back. If she let him off, he would get hurt…why would he even bear such serious pain when he was already riddled with scars?

“Hey!”

Her shouting voice was louder than she expected. The face Jinta had when he turned his head, at that moment, always seemed to have a slight open in his lips…just like those days. Naruko’s heart thumped greatly. She uttered quickly as she was afraid of the shame that her heartbeat would be heard.

“D-Don’t you think that what we’re doing are too dumb?”

(No…this wasn’t it)

“You said you saw Menma. That was just Matsuyuki’s joke…if you…if you stop mentioning Menma, then everyone can…”

(This wasn’t what I wanted to say!)

The things she wanted to say in her heart and the things she spoke couldn’t be in synch with her feelings. Perhaps it was just a slight deviation in her tone, but what that meant was completely different.

Jinta said in an obviously unhappy tone.

“Then why are you coming along?”

“That’s because…”

Jinta stopped saying anything and left.

Undoubtedly, she didn’t want to anger him. When Naruko stepped on to catch him, but for her unappropriate armour, her clothes scratched with something buldgy on the floor with a subtle angle.

“Ah?!”

She couldn’t help screaming. She was about to fall, but right at the next instant…

“Anjo?!”

Jinta who had ran back in a few steps fiercely caught hold of Naruko’s hands, catching her from the back.

Naruko’s ears reddened…

“T-Thanks! Sor…”

“Stop kidding.”

Naruko’s words were interrupted with a low voice. It was a male voice that had undergone the adolescent change of voice.

(Yadomi’s hands…are trembling?)

“Are you an idiot?”

At this moment did Naruko noticed that the ground she was stepping on was beside a dark and deep valley.

This was a scene she hadn’t seen but had imagined for a few many times.

It was the place where Meiko’s sandals floated.

“Yadomi…”

“If you really…not only Menma but you would also…”

The man’s words gave her hears a hot sensation. The trembling hands that were grasping to her wrists…his tensed fingers…

“You’ve grown.”

“Huh?”

Still unconscious, Naruko’s body had lost the strength that had been holding onto her.

Merely this could puff out some sweetness in her heart and body…Maruko said along her light breathing patterns.

“Hey. Did you really, really see Menma?”

“Uh…”

“Actually, you really like Menma, right?”

“What?!” Jinta came back to his senses, and violently let go of Naruko’s wrists, but Naruko still continued, “because you really like her, so you would see things that actually didn’t exist…”

“You, you….”

Ascribed to Jinta’s waver, a hot, damp feeling shot from the bottom of her eyes.

She didn’t believe it, but…

“Um...if you can see Menma, then take good care of her. Although I don’t know why, I ask for your help…”

“Anjo…”

His words completely matched her feelings. It was not only for Meiko but also Jinta…she also hoped she could treat her gently.

Some warmth of Jinta’s palm still remained on Naruko’s wrist, sticking to her skin like a scar. She thought herself as useless for becoming so heated up just because of some contact with him.

Without even blinking, Chiriko looked at Atsumu roasting the meat he brought. The steak needs to be turned over, otherwise it would be burnt, Chiriko thought. Atsumu who looked steay was surely preoccupied.

However, she didn’t remind him. She wanted to let him experience the failure of burning it.

“Ah.”

The colour of the smoke changed. Atsumu who frantically turned the meat gave out a small cry.

“Indeed. You rarely cook, yet you brought these things to act cool.”

Atsumu groaned.

“I think it’s bad for you to speak in a way as if you have seen through people.”

“Where’s it bad?”

“You won’t be popular among boys.”

“Thanks for your care.”

Among the Super Peace Busters, only Atsumu and Chiriko still had a friendly relation. Although they said everyone had good feelings and never left each other, but in this group, there are disparities in how strong the feelings are. And at that time, the weakest feelings perhaps belonged to Atsumu and Chiriko.

What was Atsumu thinking? Chiriko was thinking. If she could see through him…at some level she knew how Atsumu thought, but when she wanted to have a deeper look, the focus would be lost, and everything would beome blurry.

As their ages grew and as the distance of a friend grew, she gradually couldn’t see what a person Atsumu is. Every now and then at this moment, Chiriko would increase the prescription of her glasses.

If she could see through him…

“Stop messing around.”

“Huh?”

Chiriko couldn’t reply to Atsumu’s soft words.

That, you see, was because she couldn’t look through him again.

Atsumu lifted his head.

Along with the burnt meat and the roasted smoke, the flames of the candles swayed in the gloomy greyness, shining upon Tetsudo and the others who came back dismayed of failing to find Menma.

Jinta and Naruko was a bit of a distance apart…

“What. Menma’s not here! Yukiatsu!”

“…”

Atsumu stared straightly at Jinta.

Beside him was Meiko, who had been making him flighty and impetuous. Of course, Atsumu wasn’t aware of Meiko’s presence.

“Hey. Yukiatsu. Is the meat roasted?”

Meiko called Atsumu by his nickname.

The honey-sweet voice he longed was near him, yet Atsumu wasn’t aware of this. He just plainly stared at Jinta.

Jinta didn’t go to school. His hair had grown, but his height wasn’t much different. Still, he had a cool feeling.

Perhaps it was the truth, or perhaps it was just an effect of past memory that Jinta appeared like this in Atsumu’s eyes, however the reason…

(He was repugnant.)

Atsumu glared at Jinta. Noticing Atsumu’s eyes, Jinta also glared back at him, but he didn’t stay for so long and soon averted his eyes.

(I won…)

I had to make out the winner and the loser like a kid, but why?

Why do I have no such feeling of winning—why was this?

“Hey. The precious meat are burnt!”

“The second round is coming. Wait for a moment.”

As I looked at Matsuyuki Matsuyuki sprinkled the salt and pepper on the meat, I threw into my mouth those crab-sized German sausages thoughtlessly.

It had been some time already and the cold German sausages taste oily.

How repugnant…everything, including this damp night, was repugnant.

Matsuyuki was roasting some other meat expresionlessly.

He said he saw Menma…with such calmness.

Undoubtedly, he must have lied to us. What was he planning—how useless. If he were to play an act, at least play to the end…

“Speaking of which, you’ve gone too far, Yukiatsu! You act so calm and refuse to come with us…”

“Uh?”

Matsuyuki stopped his hand that was turning the meat, and said lightly and peacefully, “When Menma appeared in front of me, she asked me to tell us to stop messing around.”

“Uh…?”

Matsuyuki was staring at me, with that smile that only belonged to the corner of his mouth—he was trying me again with those disgusting eyes.

“Eh? Did Menma say this?”

Standing beside me, Menma cocked her head in astonishment.

So this was the case…what was he planning—that bastard.

He joined this BBQ just to scoff at me? And bought so expensive meat just for this?

“Taking her wish as an excuse to capriciously fool around is perhaps just giving trouble to Menma.”

Matsuyuki looked at me, seemingly wanting to continue.

“Stop, Matsuyuki!”

Everyone had noticed Matusyuki’s intention, and Anjo looked even more unstable than Matsuyuki or I.

“Menma wouldn’t want this to happen, right? Five years have already past, yet we’re still reluctant to leave.”

“Oi, Yukiatsu, you…!”

“Mmm..”

“I am already introspecting myself. Although I carelessly joined Yadomi in this, Menma would definitely feel unhappy for this.”

“…”

“Yadomi. You’re such a poor thing. Menma’s not here, and you don’t even go to school. How deplorable…”

“Jintan!”

Menma stared at me with her round eyes.

I had already become a sandbag. I don’t care what you say.

“But, when you do such senseless things, the real one who’s poor isn’t you but Menma…”

I couldn’t understand Matsuyuki’s feelings. Did he hate me because I said that to Menma that day?

“That’s wrong!!”

I looked at Menma.

Menma shook her head potently—not to me but everyone.

“That’s wrong! Who’s poor…Although Menma don’t understand, and don’t know why I would be here…there are many, many scary things out there and many places I’m not sure of, but…!”

When I came to my senses, Menma had already been crying.

Her face was cried to a mess, and her fists tightly clenched.

“When everyone could gather together…when everyone could think of Menma’s things, this was undoubtedly the reason of my happiness!”

“Ah!”

“Hey. Yadomi. You should forget about Menma already. Stop letting her stuck in your mind…”

“No! That’s nonesense…that’s nonesense!”

Her voice couldn’t reach Matsuyuki’s ears, yet she still continued to rebuke him.

“Even if Menma died…Menma still hopes everyone could be good friends! So…”

As if casting off her tears, Menma vibrantly lifted her head.

“So, stop quarreling for Menma!!”

“Hey. You.”

“Uh…Yadomi?”

Hey. You—I carelessly let it slip off my mouth.

Stop quareling…stop qaurreling for Menma. Do you have to worry for us to this date?

Your will was drivelled by others, your denying unheard, and your words unable to be sent.

Aren’t you the one who was hurt the most?

“Heh…It seems like you have something to say, Yadomi?”

Matsuyuki wore a provocative smile.

I had to say something.

“Ah…ah…”

What I wanted to say were beyond numbers.

However, the words seemed to be stuck firmly on the depths of my throat. No matter what I say, I would be reckoned as an idiot.

I don’t want this to happen.

This wasn’t because I lost my qualification as a leader, for I didn’t care about that thing long ago.

This was because Menma was here. Perhaps she was only my hallucination, but she was, in fact, here, and her eyes were welled with tears, her shoulders trembling. I didn’t want her to scoff at me.

No matter what I say, Matsuyuki would want to destroy me elatedly, however, his pain, or should I say, my pain, would hurt Menma even more. So…

“Hey. Yadomi. What’s the matter? You don’t have anything to say now?”

“That’s enough! Yukiatsu!!”

At the moment Hisakawa wanted to grab Matsuyuki by the arm…

“…”

Menma suddenly ran as if she had made her mind.

“Uh…?”

She ran to the bag of fireworks Anjo had put on the floor, and stretched her hand inside…

“Believe in me!” As she cried, she tore off the wrapper.

“Uh?!”

Everyone wasn’t aware of it at the start.

But when I started to scream, they followed the direction of my eyes and lost their ability to speak like I.

“What?!”

“Ehhhh?!”

Having found their voices, they made an extremely normal voie of people who met summer ghost stories first-handedly.

In front of my eyes, Menma opened the fireworks and took out a piece. I could see her, but they…

“What’s that? Why is the firework rod moving by itself?”

“Hey, Yadomi! Stop joking, what mechanism is this?”

Even Matsuyuki had a tensed face, his voice going crazy.

“Stop playing around…Stop it, Menma!!”

Actually I noticed this from the start. Menma could touch anything. Could hallucinations touch things? No, it didn’t matter whether it was a hallucination now.

If that was the case, then the evidence of Menma’s existence are limitless.

But I didn’t want that to happen.

Menma had been our pal. Even now, she was our pal. She had the same soft smile she had at that time. She would always say ‘yo’ or ‘bobobo’ like a kid.

It was the spirit that was right for the summer…I didn’t want to let the Super Peace Busters to look at her like that.

“Menma!!”

But Menma didn’t stop. She didn’t care whether they would be scared of her, or mistook her. She lightly put the rod in her hand near the candles Tsurumi had prepared for the spirit stories.

Seee…

Following the striking sound as fast as bubbles in soft drinks, the leading-line of the rod was ignited.

“!!”

In front of everyone, Menma swung her rod through the air.

The light’s trace pierced through the darkness.

It brought back the memories of that summer.

Everyone added their pocket money together and bought some fireworks. For children were restricted from playing fire, they would want to do it more when they are restricted, as they would become excited when doing bad things. Therefore, everyone waited for the sky to darken.

It was the same on that day: the rod was ignited with a ‘seee’ sound like the bubbling of soft drinks. Looking at the fiery rod, everyone cried out in joy.

“Wuagh! Excellent, Jintan! It’s round! Round!”

We were indeed children. Looking merely at the fascinating fire rod wasn’t fun. We swung the fire rod around and drew endless light traces in the dark. I swiftly twisted my wrist and drew a few circles in mid-air, and when Menma saw me doing this…

“Guess what this is!”

She swung her fire rod and drew a strange figure.

“What’s that, eight?”

“Ah, is that infinity?”

Tsurumi was right. Menma nodded her head in happiness.

“That’s right. It’s the symbol for infinity!”

“Eheh. What’s infinity?”

“Don’t you know, Popo? Infinity is the meaning for on and on till forever.”

Menma nodded again to Matsuyuki’s explanation.

“That’s it! This is us—the Super Peace Busters!”

And then, she suddenly wore a smiling face.

“It means that we are best friends for on and on till forever!!”

“…Menma.”

A flower was drawn by the traces of the fire rod in the darkness.

This flower was made by the repeated swinging of Menma’s fire rod, repeatingly telling us the meaning of ‘best friends’.

“Ah…”

Everyone who was originally scared…looked at it and started to remember the things at that time; their faces also relieved.

It wasn’t the face of seeing summer ghost stories first-handedly.

It wasn’t simply astonishment and puzzlement.

“It’s really…Menma.”

Just when Anjo murmured in her subconscious…

“…Who’s kidding!!”

When Matsuyuki roared, Menma’s actions stopped.

“Yukiatsu…?”

“Who’s kidding? What is this? I don’t believe it! I will never believe it!”

Matsuyuki’s roaring sounds reverberated in the dark woods.

His fretful and restless footsteps left gradually. No one stopped him: everyone only listened quietly to his leaving footstep sounds.

Matsuyuki’s voice disappeared. The buzzing sounds of summer insects dominated nearby places again, but everyone was still silent.

This silence represented everyone believed in Menma. This silence declared this truth with the loudest voice.

The fire rod in Menma’s hand had burnt to the end while we weren’t noticing.

“Jintan.”

Menma smiled to me. It was the same unsightly, acidulous smile she had on that day.

“Sorry.”

She apologised to me for a reason I didn’t know.

### 027. Chapter 12 - The Common Trauma

## Chapter 12 : The Common Trauma

Zip zip…

In the secret base, the insects flew around the lamp, making flapping sounds—this was the only sound in this quite room.

Tetsudo, Chiriko, and Naruko didn’t make a sound. Atsumu had left. Jinta and Meiko had also left.

Jinta left with Meiko?

For they witnessed the drawing of the fire rod, this unprecedented experience, they believed in Meiko’s existence.

However, as time passed, they began to be uncertain. They was skeptical of whether what they saw was authentic.

“Menma…Is she really out there?” Naruko commenced with a slightly trembling voice Chiriko replied, “do you know what mass hallucinations are?”

“Mass hallucinations?”

“It is because we have the same trauma that we saw the same thing.”

The same trauma—Chiriko’s words comforted Naruko.

Until now, she was enduring the pain all by herself. Although it was maybe not exactly the case, the part where everyone could not communicate, was made in synch by the trauma.

“Perhaps…yeah. Perhaps.”

Having repeated two ‘perhaps’, Naruko calmed down.

This was because if she really believed it, that would mean…

“Are you idiots?”

Naruko and Chiriko raised their heads abruptly.

“Why don’t you believe this? There is no way she couldn’t be Menma.”

“But, but…”

“Isn’t this our chance?”

“Eh…”

Tetsudo showed a serious expression that hadn’t ever appeared in the memories of the two girls.

“If Menma’s here, then we can apologise to her for everything. Isn’t this great?”

This thought matched miraculously with the thought Jinta had yesterday —though Tetsudo didn’t know this.

“Yes. Apologise…yeah…”

Naruko was touched by Tetsudo’s words. If she could apogloise, then the inevitable feelings she had carried with her so long could…

“Why should we apologise?”

Chiriko asked calmly.

“Do you even have to…”

“Is it your fault that Menma’s dead?”

“!!”

Naruko was speechless. She couldn’t refute her.

“Stop this, Tsuruko!!”

“…”

“It isn’t anyone’s fault. It isn’t Anaru’s fault either. You’re acting so strange! At that time, I…also did my best…that…hey, hey!”

Chiriko left before letting him finish. Tetsudo looked at Naruko in panic.

“Hey, Anaru…”

“Stop calling me Anaru.”

Having heard this response, his heart a bit more assured…but at the next moment, Tetsudo’s heart began to chew on Chiriko’s words again.

(Why should we apologise?)

There were many things he wanted to apologise. To name one, it was of her death.

But, why should we apologise…like what Chiriko had said, there weren’t specific things to apologise.

(What am I doing?)

Chiriko pondered aimlessly while strolling on the neck of the bridge

Who was hurt? And who hurt him?

(This time, I hurt Anjo.)

No, it wasn’t me. The thing that really hurt her must be…

Chiriko believed that Meiko’s death was Naruko’s fault—such kind of Naruko’s thought.

This was because this thought was the same thought she had repeated in her heart for numerous times.

(Everyone had to be hurt.)

She wasn’t an exception.

Atsumu stood in a dark room.

It was a room without any decoration, a room that gave account to the fact that Atsumu didn’t have any hobbies. There weren’t any games, magazines or anything that youngsters would like. Even things pertaining to adults’ interest were absent, for example: western music CDs, mountains of plain-text books.

But this room was filled with Atsumu’s suffocating persistance. Atsumu stood in the room, without speaking a word or moving an inch…

Bam!

Suddenly, as if reaching his endurance limit, Atsumu kicked away a chair.

He bent his body, clenched his fists, and throw blows at the wall again and again. The pure pain made him more irascible. He wanted even more sharp pain, pain that would let him forget the pain on his chest.

“Who’s kidding…who’s kidding!!”

He couldn’t soothen his anger.

Atsumu’s mind was filled with Jinta’s flauting attitude.

(Who do you think you are…don’t be kidding. That’s just some mechanism. That’s just some trick anyone is capable of. Who do you think you are? You’re nobody. You’re nobody. You’re nobody. You’re nobody!)

Every time he thought of htim, his blood would seem to boil.

(You don’t qualify to mention Menma!)

Even if Menma really existed, why is he the only one who could see her?

What stupid thing was this? Even if it wasn’t a spirit but just a hallucination of a homeless dog with its mind went wrong, he couldn’t permit such things to happen.

That’s right: only he couldn’t be forgiven. He couldn’t be forgiven for anything that has to do with Menma. As Atsumu was pushed to the edge by his thoughts, he couldn’t make a line between what he should do and what he shouldn’t.

For he couldn’t make a line, he opened the door.

Then, he called upon ‘Menma’.

“Come out, Menma…”

It was different from what Jinta had seen, but perhaps it was the same summer spirit that Tetsudo had seen.

“Menma…”

Lightly and gently, he embraced her in his arms. He softly caressed her thin, hard hair. He wanted to speak the words of love, but there wasn’t enough time. Yes, time was running out.

“They’re too miserable to be fooled by that trick. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t forgive them. Menma, I even accepted their nonesense as true. This is the evidence I had almost forgotten you…”

I would never let you become lonely again.

Atsumu made up his mind: I would keep your lonlieness company.

### 028. Chapter 13 - The Summer Recluse

## Chapter 13 : The Summer Recluse

I burnt a mosquito-repellent incense. A strand of smoke gradually floated, and flew around the damp living room.

“Mmmah. That’s so fragrant. Menma thinks that the smell of mosquito-repellent incense is the best smell in the world!”

Menma was aberrantly excited when I returned home. It was blatant she was just pretending to be joyous, so my look tensed under the action of my subconscious.

Perhaps, Menma was very wary of my look. I have no means to reproach her for this, yet she sang out the happy things happened today.

“Ah…ah. Menma wants to look at Menma. Too bad!”

“…”

“Will Menma Luigi wear the same green dress? Ah, but Menma doesn’t have a bit of red.”

Everyone believed in the presence of Menma.

As I had imagined, everyone changed their faces and didn’t talk after that. They left without leaving a word about Menma. It seemed like they at least believed what I said, like Hisakawa.

“Will Menma Luigi get taller than Menma Mario?”

Even she freaked me out at first. There was no way around.

I could see Menma and talk with her. That was the reason I could accept her presence. But even if I said Menma was there, perhaps to they, who couldn’t see spirits, will imagine Menma as a zombie who was incessantly throwing off flesh bits.

She drew ‘infinity’ in the air. At that time, the Menma they knew wasn’t their best friend, Menma they had in their memories.

It was a spirit.

“If Menma Luigi is a quiet beauty, then will Jintan think Menma Luigi is better?”

If they would take her as a spirit—to take her as something with obvious bias—I rather let them reckon Menma as just as my hallucination.

Yes, I hated the fact that she was crowned by another name.

I hated her being crowned by any name other than Menma.

“Hey, Jintan?”

“Ah…eh? What?”

“You’re not listening to what I’m saying! Hmph. I’m telling you…Menma Mario...”

“…Menma, let me ask you.”

“Ah! You’re asking me questions again! You didn’t even reply to what I said!”

“Why…should I apologise?”

“!”

Fu. Menma lowered her head.

She thought about it with her head lowered for a while, then slowly, bit by bit, she replied in a soft voice as if unwrapping a messy bundle.

“Menma is better of being secluded.”

“Eh…”

Being secluded?

“When I returned home, mother gave Menma…she put curry on Menma’s shrine.”

“Ah…”

Menma’s face became wan.

Menma had returned home. This wasn’t any thing inconceviable. But why was she saying this with such a tone and such a lamentable face?

“Mum said Menma is a bit stupid, so she might return home. Mum acting like this will surely make father, Satori, and everyone sad.”

Menma said while she clenched the palms put on her kneecap, trying her best to cease the tears rushing into her eyes.

Why did I ask such a cruel question? I wanted to switch our topic immediately, but I knew I must listen to Menma when I saw her trying to weave some words while trembling.

“So, Menma thinks that perhaps it’s better to let everyone feel that Menma is already dead and have returned to heaven.”

“…”

“This is because no one could see Menma. So, Menma thinks that it’s better to be secluded.”

Ahah…I sighed.

She was always like this. She said words of fools, did acts of idiots, yet her behaviour was always embedded with the care to her surroundings.

She observed how everyone felt and looked, even when she would become the clown.

“As a result, I did that carelessly. I told everyone I was here. I even ignited the fire rod. If I don’t let them see it when they shouldn’t…everything would certiainly…”

Tears affluently rushed out from Menma’s eyes out of her control.

But, Menma, aren’t you very strange now? That is because…

“You couldn’t be a recluse.”

“Jintan…”

“This is because I can still see you. I’ve already believed in your presence; I can’t believe more.”

“Ah!”

Menma looked at me as if seeing something peculiar, such as a spirit, staring at me blankly.

“I’m very happy,” Menma murmured in a quiet, surprised voice.

“I’m turning the lights off.”

“Okay. Goodnight!”

Menma slept on the bed, and thus I had to sleep on the sofa. I chose another pose to sleep today—my waist aches.

The only light in the dark room was the moonlight spilled through the curtains. The moonlight gently and hazily fell on Menma’s white shoulders.

Was the moonlight that bright?

My recent life was basically playing games until I fall asleep…twenty-four seven. The lights in the house were always turned on. I didn’t even turn them off even in days when they are not needed.

The flashy fluorescent light always glittered at the dark me, but now…

The natural and gentle brightness covered Menma…

“Jintan.”

“Eh…?”

Lying on her side, Menma spoke to me with her back facing me.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What is it? Ahah. Do you have to ask Menma Mario?”

“School. Are you not going to school because of Menma?”

“…”

So soft was the sound that it was about to disappear. What was that?

“Are you very mindful of what Matsuyuki said?”

Matsuyuki did say that I didn’t go to school because of Menma’s absence, but I didn’t have the stamina to bother about every word he said after being said so many bad things by him.

“Yeah. But… but this isn’t because of you.”

I didn’t know what the reason was.

Menma was gone. Mum was gone. I failed my exams. There were so many reasons for refusing to go to school, but…

“…This is because I hate to be bothered. That’s all.”

“Yes. Oh…”

Menma turned around, the blanket curling around her leg. She looked at me with her eyes flashing with a mischevious beam.

“Ah. Perhaps, this is Menma wish? It’s to hope Jintan could go to school!” She said with a playful tone.

“I’m telling you. You’re exploiting your wish just to weave reasons.”

“Hehe…”

Menma had a bright smile that was obviously pretended.

I spoke as if I wanted to get away with another possibility of mentioning the things that happened in school…

“Well then. Goodnight for real!”

“Yeah. Goodnight.”

After a while, Menma’s breathing patterns became regular and long.

A lot of things had changed while Menma wasn’t here.

My age, height was different from then.

The friendship of the Super Peace Busters was also different. But it would be great if only a bit…no, it would be great if we could be as close as back then.

“Eheh. Jinta-kun. What’s the matter?”

The living room was filled with the morning air. During this time, I rarely would wake up before dad goes to work…and I was even wearing my high school uniform. Dad glared at me while I walked downstairs.

“No. Nothing. Nothing special.”

“No. Nothing.”

Dad repeated what I had said like a parrot mimicing the words of someone. Although he pretended as if nothing had happened, he looked fidgeting apparently.

“H-Have you eaten your breakfast?”

“Yeah. No.”

“Is that so? But, eat somehitng. Oh, there’s some sour milk.”

“Okay…”

I directly walked to the sink and spread a thick paste of toothpaste on my toothbrush. After all, I just wanted to use some stimuli to get away with things that had happened in the past.

I could see dad was preparing for his work through the mirror. He was indeed restless, spying at me occasionaly, and then averting his eyes away when he met his eyes with mine on the mirror.

“Pat.”

I spat the peppermint-flavoured saliva out of my mouth.

I was going to school, yet dad seemed not so happy about it.

Having seen dad’s response, I was even sure I had given him much trouble. At that time, when I said I didn’t want to go to school, he must have been very puzzled…

“Wuaghh!”

Suddenly, Menma was kneeling down beside my feet.

“Eh. Jinta-kun?”

“Ah…No. Nothing.”

“This again? You alien from planet No-nothing!”

Exploiting the fact that dad couldn’t hear her voice, Menma spoke to me loudly as usual. I could only reply softly, “You woke up so early…”

“Menma was joking.”

“Heh?”

Joking—Menma stared at me and said sternly this unappropriate word.

“Menma was joking yesterday about having a wish for Jintan to go to school.”

“Eh…”

“It’s fine if you don’t. Don’t push yourself so hard.”

As if about to cry, yet trying to provoke me…Sigh. I’m fed up with her already.

“Idiot.”

I lightly poked Menma’s forehead from an angle dad couldn’t see.

“Ah!”

“I just think it’s about time I get to school. It’s the same as I not going to school: there isn’t any specific reason.”

“Jintan…”

I definitely would fulfill Menma’s wish.

Of course, I don’t reckon that Menma’s wish was for me to go to school. After all, this had nothing to do with ‘everyone’.

But, if I don’t do anything, I’ll get restless and impatient.

I wanted to be more like myself back then. That’s it.

The elongated, nasty, disturbing buzzing sounds of cicadas mixed with the disturbing, iditoic laughing sounds of some blokes. In this ensemble, the voices of those blokes were even advantagous.

The road to school was so short. I gasped in surprise. Of course, this wasn’t that surprising. After all, the times I had gone to school aside from the few times for examination were just few and far between.

I really didn’t want to go. The more I thought, the faster I got there.

My neck was burnt under the sun so tensely it hurt. Ahah. My sweat is trickling.

Every face of the students passing by seemed familiar to me, yet I felt I had never seen them before. Recognizing people by their faces wasn’t that useful. Right. Wasn’t it better if I didn’t recognize them while I entered the school? Let me just take these noises as a pointless chunk of sound.

I stopped unconsciously while I tried to recognize everyone’s face.

“…Hot. It’s hot. It’s so hot…”

I repeated this same thing again and again.

I was bound to be thought as a weird guy, someone talking to himself over there. However, it couldn’t be helped. If I don’t say anything, the information invading my ears would be too much I could handle.

“Oh look. Isn’t he Yadomi?”

“!!”

Striking out from that chunk of sound was some middle-aged woman with her throat buldged with fat.

I couldn’t help but to turn around, happening to see two women, which I seemed to know yet I seemed didn’t.

“You’re coming to school. Bravo! Bravo!”

Perhaps it was of for I faced directly at them, their vague faces became clear. I could recognize of them was someone that studied at my adajcent class when I was still in middle school.

They should be Anjo’s friends by now. But, they didn’t seem to this black before? Why the heck would they blacken themselves? It was the colour of roasted pork.

“Uh? You don’t look quite right?”

“…”

I glared at her in a bad mood. Stop speaking to me, I tried to imply to her.

The roasted pork seemed to back off a bit, but…

“Rest assured. Rest assured. No one would care if you just didn’t come for a semester, or should I say, no would would care about Yadomi.”

“Ahahaha!”

An even louder voice came in.

What the heck are they doing? This roasted pork and that nobody—what are they scheming? Do they want to make fun of me? Or are they…

“Morning…?!”

“Ah. You’ve come. Naruko.”

“Yadomi!”

Oh my, Anjo came at the worst moment. She looked at me; my breathing went stuck.

I couldn’t imagine this would happen after all that time we had been toegether yesterday. I also remembered I even grabbed her by the wrist.

But, when I saw her in front of this unfamiliar school…

“But, so to speak, isn’t the power of love too magnificent? That’s all because you ran an errand to his house!”

“What?!”

“It’s so hot! It’s a blazingly hot love!!”

The pork chop girl and that nobody ranted all day long. Flustered, Anjo said, “stop it! Who would want this kind of a person to…ah!”

Flashing her eyes, Anjo looked at the ‘this kind of a person’, I. I, this kind of a person, must have been had his lips trembling crazily…I’m helpless.

But, I don’t plan to be helpless forever.

“Hot. That’s what it was…”

“Eh?”

I quickly spun my mind around. I was spinning my mind to find the right words to destroy them.

“It was all for this heat that made me dizzy. I wouldn’t even have a smallest eager to come to this place almost…like a dumb zoo!”

I screwed it up.

“Ahaha! You bit your tongue!”

“This guy even bit his tongue when he’s trying to act cool!”

My face reddened, and my ears heated up.

“Ah…Yadomi!!”

I ran away. Why would I always run away from things?

It was so hot. My ears were blazing hot. The laughing sounds chased me.

But, there were no sounds from Anjo among those laughing sounds, though it was pointless to have noticed this.

Whatever that may mean,I had no companions here.

“…sigh.”

I leant on the long bench in the park, the rough wood surface hanging my shirt. A dense canopy of green stretched across and over my head.

I used to play in this park, although there weren’t much amusement facilities, making it a boring park for children. It was a place where old men would play croquet.

It was a rod that looked like a wooden rod but much thicker. All of us wanted to touch it and play with it.

As a result, the old men told us this was a sport only for old people. Stamping her feat and yearning, Menma said, “I hope to quickly become an old woman!”

“Menma…I didn't go to school.”

I murmured to myself reluctantly.

When I was small, if someone doesn’t come to school, I would think it would be all right if those normal ones would still come. However, the truth wasn’t that simple. During my half-year of deferring my studies, my body became used to being alone, being unable to handle the eyes of others…

“It’s fine if you don’t. Don’t push yourself so hard.”

“…”

Damn it.

I felt as if Menma had seen through all my thoughts and feelings. Perhaps she had also foreseen half of the fact that I didn’t go to school at last and ran here.

I couldn’t transform back to myself at that time…Menma knew it already.

“…”

I would never admit such a thing.

I could also foresee Menma’s behaviour. If I return home now, she would definitely come out to greet me with a smile printed on her face.

Even if I didn’t go to school, Menma wouldn’t have a word about it. She was that kind of a person who would just plainly accept it.

“…I couldn’t return home.”

My sweat had trickled below my nose. It was September already, yet summer’s end seemed so far a date that was unpredictable…I licked away the sweat that was rolled to my mouth’s corner, sensing a salty flavour.

The cool shade under the trees saved me. I lifted my head—the secret base was covered in the atmosphere of the last bits of summer.

It was so hot outside, yet the sunlight that fell upon the ledge of the secret base kept to strangely have the flavour of September. I always felt that this was a bit of a loss.

I had come here.

The things that happened in the Super Peace Busters reunion are mostly bad ones, but on the good side, it helped me to find a place to go aside from home.

“…Huh?”

I pushed the door, and it opened directly.

Wasn’t it locked? Hisakawa, you’re too careless. Don’t you live here all along? If something were stolen…Ah, there are nothing to be stolen here.

“Hey. Hisakawa?”

Having been flashed by the strong light of September, I looked inside the room again, and all I could see was a piece of darkness. It had been enough talking. Let me get in before doing anything else…

“…Wuagh!!”

There was something curled up by a blanket near the door. Curled inside was Hisakwa.

“…Yo, Jintan.”

It was a dejected, slow voice that didn’t seem what Hisakwa sounded before. His eyes were all red.

“Is…Menma here? Here.”

“N-No. She didn't come today. What happened to you?”

“Oh.”

The weather was so hot, yet Hisakawa still had to wrap himself with the blanket while crawling up. His pants had become loosened.

“What a thrilling night.”

“Ah? Yes…”

“I…believe in Menma’s presence,” Hisakwa said while scratching his buttocks; his eyes seemed a bit shallow.

“But, getting to the root of it, that’s because we trust you, Jintan. If you believe there’s Menma, we’ll also believe there’s Menma. That’s how it works.”

That was how it worked?

“But…how do I put it…um…”

Hisakawa repeated to scratch his buttocks, maybe he couldn’t think of any other action to do. At last, he did another action.

“Hmph! Fufu!”

He pulled the tissue roll on the edge of the table, wiped his snot, and deliberately added a sound effect with his mouth.

Then, he looked at me with a feeling that seemed to be refreshed.

“Indeed. Jintan is special to Menma.”

“!”

My face felt like burning.

Special—what a sweet remark. Besides, it wasn’t my own egotistical thinking but a name someone else gave. I was special to Menma.

“W-What are you talking about? There’s no such a thing,” I refuted in an indescribably loud voice.

“But, if it wasn’t the case, why do only you could see her?”

“I don’t know about this too…”

“Don’t be so modest! You’re special!”

“Wuaghh!”

Abruptly, I discovered Tsurumi was standing behind me.

“Tsurumi! Let me tell you. Yesterday night, you…!”

“Yesterday night?”

“No. Nothing…”

Tsurumi didn’t answer but handed a paper bag to Hisakawa. It was that kind of colourful, checkered, trendy paper bag you can only find in department stores of large cities.

“I’ve brought this: a mug. When we’re having the BBQ, I was shocked to find out that there are so few eating utensils here.”

“Eh? Can I…eh? What is this? Isn’t this a coffee brewing machine?”

“It’s just one we’ve used. My mum bought a new one back from the charity fund…so this is the old one.”

“Wuagh! Thanks! That’s so great. Are you one of the nobles, Tsurumi?!”

Hisakawa’s eyebrow returned to its original position. Or should I say, it ran to a place even lower than the regular position. Talk about finding people to help by first offering them with some benefits. He was such an easy guy to understand.

“Today Matsuyuki didn’t come to school. It seems like he’s going to have a long battle, so I think beverages are necessary.”

Tsurumi lightly squinted her eyes. What did she mean by a long battle?

“Ohehehehe! Let’s have some happy coffee time, shall we?”

Before I got the chance to ask what Tsurumi meant, Hisakawa had already been happily fiddling with the coffee brewing machine.

Tsurumi sat comfortably on the old sofa as if this was her place; she then moved her eye up to meet mine.

“Is Menma responsible to look after your house today?”

“You also believed it?!”

“I don’t know. However, I’m counted as skeptical.”

At this moment, Hisakawa joined our conversation with a picky tone while battling with the coffee brewing machine. It seemed like he had been listening to what we had been saying at the least.

“What. Didn’t you say it was a mass hallucination?”

“I don’t mind.”

“Heh?”

“I’ll also get hurt.”

Tsurumi murmured a reply completely irrelevant to Hisakawa’s question.

### Translation Notes

- ↑ Luigi is the Mario's brother in Super Mario Bros.

### 029. Chapter 14 - Call My Name

## Chapter 14 : Call My Name

“…”

In this heat, Atsumu, who forgot to turn on the air-conditioner, stared straightly at his phone.

Chiriko had sent him a mail: ‘we will hold a party to greet Menma today. Everyone in Super Peace Busters will join, though you look like feeling unwell. If you’re willing, join us.”

“If I’m willing…what does she mean?”

What is willing? He couldn’t find any reason to make himself willing.

Atsumu felt irascible, as if he was betrayed by Chiriko.

Everyone in Super Peace Busters?

Atsumu’s anger had become Menma’s anger. She silently trembled; her short and disarrayed breathing seemed to be at the side of his ear.

Atsumu had already lost his ability to make the right choice. There was no other way to do it even if he had this problem. He thought in the depths of his heart.

(If there is really a Menma whom only he could see…)

How would Menma think if she knew the thoughts I was having? The problem was that Atsumu couldn’t stop already. These thoughts couldn’t hold him from doing this.

“Menma. Let them see. Let them have a look at you.”

Atsumu forcefully pushed the door.

“Ah…”

Meiko practiced her voice in front of the ratating electronic fan.

Before Jinta went to school, he opened the window of his room and even moved the electronic fan upstairs. He didn’t know that the hot weather was only a mental cognition to Meiko and not a physical experience. Though he didn’t know, he didn’t deliberately go to check.

Meiko’s accepted Jinta’s soft gentleness was to press on the electronic fan.

“Ah…Ah…”

But it was very boring. This bored feeling was also embedded with the worriness for Jinta, making the time harder to bear.

As such, Meiko walked downstairs.

The shrine was placed in the living room.

Although she was aware of its presence, she was still a bit afraid to approach it. The name Jinta’s father called towards the shrin and the phot placed on top of it was the gentle face Meiko knew, but there was always some hesitation in her heart that stopped her from checking it out.

Nevertheless, Meiko was sitting on the cushion in front of the shrine without any hesitation.

“Auntie…”

Meiko clasped her hands in front of Jinta’s mother. The miraculous scene of a spirit undergoing a memorial ceremony to a deceased person was happening right here.

“Auntie is a lot more beautiful than the one in the photo. Menma’s photo is the same: Menma doesn’t quite like the photo, but it’s a rare one that Menma doesn’t make a V gesture. Menma likes to make a V gesture when shooting photos. The photos that don’t have her making a V gesture and few and far between.”

Then, she lightly rang the bell. The crisp sound reverberated in the damp room, bringing into it a beautiful, refreshing sound.

“Although Menma had died, she’s still very lively…”

Trickle, trickle… Something trickled from Menma’s eyes.

“Ah. Ahle? What’s the matter? Eh?”

Tears drop affluently. Even having rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, the tears don’t seem to cease.

“What about me? How strange…Auntie, please don’t laugh at me.”

Jinta’s mother was gently smiling in the photo, though she couldn’t really make the sound of smiling. And in place of this sound was the ringing sound of the doorbell that was about to broken.

“…eh?”

Tap, tap, tap. Meiko climbed up the stairs and came into Jinta’s room.

She opened the windows there, stretched her body forward, and looked outside.

“Anjo?!”

In front of the door stood Anjo who was about to be going school.

Overjoyed, Meiko wanted to wave her hands to Naruko.

(An-Anaru…would she be scared of Menma’s spirit?)

Meiko remembered the look on Naruko yesterday. It was a very shocked look with her eyes widened in astonishment. Meiko remembered that she hadn’t seen this look on her when she was still alive.

(She would certainly be afraid.)

Everyone in Super Peace Busters had become afraid of her.

(Bother.)

Naruko’s face was obviously tensed.

She pressed on the doorbell and didn’t leave even though there was no one to open the door.

She reckoned Jinta would be in his home, for obviously there was eviodence of someone in the house: the windows of that room were open.

It was the room at the corner on the second floor. If there weren’t any change, that must be Jinta’s room. The curtains hanging on the windows fluttered lightly like feathers.

(Is Menma also in that room?)

Wind blew at it. Whoosh, it passed the room.

Induced by the wind, the curtains bulged.

Then, the curtains fell down, but at that instant it fell down, it created a mysterious concave shape. It was as if there was someone who cannot be seen standing there.

“!!”

Naruko wavered. But quickly, the rumble in her heart pacified.

The curtains that had changed colour over time showed a captivating white under the sunlight. It was an extremely gentle, graceful white fluttering, like the white dress ‘she’ wore on that day…

Naruko understood at the spot.

She understood who was standing there.

“Menma. Are you there?”

Meiko heard Naruko’s murmur.

Although they were words that couldn’t be heard if solely accounting on the volume, Naruko’s mouth shape and her expression made Meiko understood.

“Ah!”

Naruko’s words implied that Meiko really was there.

“Anaru. Menma…!”

Tears trickled down Menma’s face again.

“Call it again. Call Menma again. Anaru…!!”

Meiko rushed out of the room and ran down the stairs as quick as she could. Meiko’s heart was galloping: Naruko is willing to accept her, and just like that time, she called her name.

There was no room to think of sophisticated things.

In high spirits, Meiko opened the door…

### Translation Notes

- ↑ Japanese people use ‘aunt’ as a polite referral to someone else’s mother. Auntie is used here to express their close relationship, and it is also a more childish way of saying it

### 030. Chapter 15 - The Wild Beast of Summer

## Chapter 15 : The Wild Beast of Summer

The interior of the secret base was gradually dyed red by the setting sun.

Hisakawa’s snoring sound dominated the void around him, unlike Menma. His snoring sounds were like a tyrant.

It was an inexplicable scene.

There was I, who couldn’t go back home, Tsurumi, who didn’t leave for any reason, and Hisakawa, who basically didn’t sleep last night and was now sleeping like dead meat plainly in front of his guests.

But, time wasn’t that hard to endure when I was with them.

Tsurumi was now reading a novel. I was playing Hisakawa’s boring games, and with a blink of an eye, few hours had already passed.

It was like the old days.

When we were small, a day’s time pass like flying, so short it was scary. However, when I idled away time at home, time felt like really slow, so slow I felt impotent in enduring through it.

Nevertheless, when Menma came, the stuck time seemed to move again…

At this moment, Tsurumi raised her head.

“He has come.”

“Eh…”

Scuffing walking sounds were heard. Then, the door was open.

“Good evening.”

The one entering in was Anjo; Tsurumi’s face suddenly grieved. Before I could think over what her expression meant…

“…Kuh!”

I must have showed the most dumb and shocked expression.

“Menma?!”

“Jintan. It’s been ages I’ve seen you…yeah, maybe not that long. This time it’s only about half a day!”

Holding Anjo’s hand, Menma looked around.

Hisakawa, who was still curled up in the blanket like the daytime, also lifted his head hazily.

“Oh…mmm? Jintan? Did you say Menma just now?”

“Menma…she’s there?!”

Oh crap.

I couldn’t help but shout, for Anjo and Menma’s sudden arrival was completely out of my expectation.

Indeed, Hisakawa and Tsurumi’s face tensed, but Anjo didn’t; she said, “She’s really here.”

She showed some puzzlment…a miraculous expression with even some embarrassment within. Then with this expression, she looked at her right hand that Menma was holding.

“Is it here? It feels a bit heavy.”

“Heheh. You’re right!!”

How should I take this situation? There was no way I could make it up in my mind.

“You guys! Why would you come along together?”

“Umm…we just came across each other in a coincidence.”

“You came across each other? Didn’t you say you couldn’t see Menma?

“Yeah…though I couldn’t see her…”

Menm now ran to me with joyful stepping sounds.

“Anjo came to Jintan’s house!”

“Eh!”

“Then she just stood at the door! She came to find Jintan and Menma!”

Anjo? Had she been still worried of the episode this morning?

When I lifted my head in surprise, I found out that everyone stared at me with a look of surprise that was different from mine.

“Hey. What did Menma say?”

“Ah…it’s…”

“Waaa. Menma has this at home too!”

Menma didn’t understand any part of the atmosphere around here and made a fuss over the coffee brewer Tsurumi had brought.

“…she said she has this coffee brewer at her home too.”

“Haaaaa?!”

They were stupefied by what I had said.

Three of them all opened their mouths slightly, showing the same expression. This wasn’t that weird. After all, we left without making a deep remark about it last night. This should be the first, formal interaction they had, though the topic was about a coffee brewer.

“When you’ve finished boiling coffee with this thing, it will make a poppy sound. Poppy!”

“She said it will make a poppy sound when the cofee is boiled.”

“Poppy…”

It was an abnormally jittery line I had said, making me almost embarrassed while I said it. Anjo lightly said, “it really feels like something Menma would say.”

“Eh…”

As if this line was an opportunity, Hisakawa stood up abruptly.

“Right. Let’s let Menma have some of this!”

“Hisakawa!”

He poured some coffee into the mug and raised it to mid-air.

“Hey. Jintan. Is Menma here? Here? Or is she there? Please drink!”

“Hisakawa, you!”

“…let Menma have some?”

Menma blankly looked at the mug moving back and forth in front of her, as if incredulous.

Then, Tsurumi commenced, “Menma doesn’t like to drink bitter stuff.”

“Tsurumi?!”

“Yes. This is the same as that time Let’s give Menma some more milk then,” Anjo continued what Tsurumi had said.

“Anaru!”

No one…there was no one here that denied Menma’s presence.

Yes, at this place…

“Name.”

Menma had her name.

I was unwilling to let them take Menma as a spirit or whatnot.

But, I had too many groundless fears.

She was neither a spirit, nor a hallucination, nor the wild beast of summer. Menma was Menma. At this place, Menma truly had her own name.

Though they couldn’t see her, they still…

“Ah!”

Menma’s eyes flashed with tears.

“Everyone…I love everyone!!”

Shouting, Menma embraced Hisakawa’s waist.

“Mmm? Ah, ahah…what’s the matter?”

I couldn’t help laughing.

“Menma is now embracing you.”

“Eh? Men-Menma!!”

“Ahaha!”

“It’s been ages since we have had this joyful time. Hey, Menma…are you holdong my stomach? You will make me want to pee, hey!”

Hisakawa turned around in circles happily, Menma following him spinning while laughing.

“Poppo, go to pee! Menma wants to go too!”

“Menma said she wants to go to pee with you.”

“Ohoh. Menma, you can’t peek! This stimulation is too big for kids!”

“Eheheh…”

As they talked, Hisakawa and Menma had left the secret base through the door.

“Peeing together…this lacks the needed nervousness…”

Anjo murmured in surprise. I also felt hugely impotent, lying flat on the spot.

“Yadomi?”

What a happy look.

“It’s great,” I murmured consciouslessly.

Tsurumi looked at me with the corner of her eyes, “I’ve also said I didn’t truly believe it.”

“Ah! Yes.”

“But…”

Tsurumi stared frontwards.

As if foreseeing something to come, she just stared plainly frontwards…

“If I don’t believe in it, I couldn’t advance.”

“Eh…?”

At this moment…Boom!

“Wuaghhh!!!!”

“Yaaaaaaa!!”

The door was violently pushed open; Hisakawa and Menma rushed in in a speed that caused them to almost fall down.

“Hisakawa. Your flyers open.”

“Oh! Sorry…no! I saw it. I saw it!!”

“Heh? Saw what…?”

“Menma!!”

“Haaaaaaa?!”

I was dashing in the summer night.

In this dying heat, there was only the songs of early autumn sang in chorus by those insects.

Ahah. Why was I always running? I had run in these woods yesterday night already.

When I was small, I would always run in these woods.

“Haah…Haah!”

I messed up my breathing pattern—seems like my body conditions had deterioated greatly.

Hisakawa had been long running before me. Tsurumi and Anjo ran in different directions from me. And when I was mindful of where Menma was, she was gone already.

I didn’t believe that there was another Menma.

I thought it might be possible when Hisakawa said he had seen Menma previously, for Menma was my hallucination, and it was normal for others to see similar hallucinations.

However, I couldn’t believe it now. This was because Menma, though a cry baby and her thinking drifts off a bit, she would always care for the feelings of others. Every part of her constituted to Menma’s complete facet.

If she were to be taken as a spirit, I would rather let her be my hallucination forever—this thought vanished from me unknowingly. Menma was Menma. Menma could only be Menma.

But, he told me there was another Menma. A strange sense of foreboding started to thrash in my heart.

If there really was another Menma.

This Menma weren’t with anybody; she was alone.

Then, I would want to find her.

I want to confirm this; I want to call her name; even if I couldn’t see her, I wanted to understand her.

Menma couldn’t experience the feeling as a secluse. If this feeling were to be experienced by another Menma, this would be too arduous for her…

“Wuaaaaaa!!”

Hearing Hisakawa’s shouts, I lifted my head abruptly.

The trees and the buzzing sounds of insects messed up my sense of distance. At this time did I find out that not only Hisakawa but also Tusurmi, Anjo, and Menma was closer than I had thought.

“I found her. She’s Menma!”

“Eh?!”

I looked at the direction Hisakawa was pointing to.

“!!”

At the farthest tip of my view, there was a white shadow flying through the crevices between trees. The dress that was lifted by the night wind belonged to…

“…Menma?!”

### 031. Chapter 16 - Punishment

## Chapter 16 : Punishment

Hearing Hisakawa’s sound, ‘Menma’ slightly squinted its eyes.

It thought it wouldn’t be discovered, or at least it wouldn’t be caught up. Being so familiar to these woods, it thought no one in the Super Peace Busters could catch it.

It was just a way to let them smell the last fragrance of ‘Menma’.

Hisakawa and others had searched in a new direction.

‘Menma’ wasn’t discovered. It got out from the darkness so uneasily, yet it was covered in the thick night colour again.

Darkness could only give birth to a new darkness. ‘Menma’ couldn’t find this out.

“…”

Hid under the shadow of the trees, ‘Menma’ spied the dashing Jinta with his bare feet sunken deep into the bushes, but Jinta didn’t spot itself.

Yes. Jinta couldn’t see it. Never could he see ‘Menma’.

Enjoying Jinta’s ugly running pose, a funny feeling came over ‘Menma’, and thus ‘Menma’ raised the corner of his lips.

But, Chiriko then suddenly cried out.

“Eh, eh!!”

Everyone looked at Chiriko, including ‘Menma’.

Bearing all those eyes, Chiriko raised her head determinedly

“With such a huge figure, no matter how clean you shave your thigh hair, it still doesn’t work…Matsuyuki Atsumu!!”

“Eh!”

Hearing Chiriko’s words, ‘Menma’ was terribly shattered.

The waver in its heart wast put forth into an action—escape. Its legs started running by itself, making scuffing sounds. Its abrupt actions caused its slippers to cling to some bushes, making notable sounds.

“Ah…there it is!!”

“?!”

Following Naruko’s voice, ‘Menma’ flew away from there.

Run away! Run away, ‘Menma’! If it goes on like this, you will be trapped in darkness again. Everyone would forget you.

I couldn’t let you people forget, but definitely I wouldn’t let you catch me.

Run away. Stop focusing on your feet. Run away. How could I not focus on my feet when running in the woods at night?

It was almost placing my life at stake—Menma ran with an incredibly risky speed. And for this reason, when the tree roots that were sticking out tripped its feet, pulling ‘Menma’ down on the bed of the woods—there it fell.

Scuff, scuff, scuff, scuff!!”

“Hey, hey! It fell over?!”

With Tetsudo as the lead, the Super Peace Busters had arrived.

The light from the flashlight shone on the place where the person wearing the white dress fell down. The beam searched in the darkness for a while, and then, they found it out.

Everyone’s breathing was obstructed.

Appearing before their very eyes was a figure wearing a white dress—the true figure of the other Menma.

“Yukiatsu.”

Chiriko mumbled.

After such a long time—a really long time—Chiriko called his nickname.

He was in such a difficult condition.

His thick and solid arms grotesquely stretched out from the lace borders. There was a sky blue ribbon hung on the chest. It wasn’t a decoration of the dress itself but an extension he added to imitate Menma. The ribbon was hung very tight and was glimmering.

Then, the silver hair reflected under the moonlight showed the original hair colour when Atsumu tilted his head a bit.

It was a wig.

Jina looked lifelessly at Atsumu, and then he came back to his senses abruptly.

“Menma…”

Meiko was about to get down to the steep slope where Atsumu was. Jinta chased behind her in a hurry.

“Wait…Menma?!”

Scuff. Jinta was frozen as he looked below the slope.

Atsumu, who had been motionless with his head lowered, raised his head. A flashing light shone through his eyes.

“Ah…are you all right?” Jinta asked Atsumu with a feeble voice.

“All right…?”

Atsumu showed a sinister smile. With close examination, Jinta could see that his face was whiter than usual, his lips pale pink, as if he had did some makeup.

“Do you think I look all right?”

“Ah…”

“Come. Look clearer!”

Atsumu grasped Jinta’s lapel of his jacket, and then pushed him down, riding on him.

“Mmm..?!”

“Hey. Stop it already. Yukiatsu!”

When Tetsudo wanted to get down there, Chiriko put her hand on his shoulders.

“Please, Hisakawa. Just look.”

“Heh? B-But…”

“This is a chance. If we miss this, I’m sure we won’t have it again…”

They were within Chiriko’s view—everyon’e view.

Atsumu, who pretended to be Meiko, was now pressing on Jinta.

“Hey. Do I look like Meiko?”

“Mmm…”

“Didn’t you see Meiko? Do I look like Meiko…do I?!”

“Yukiatsu…Mmm?!”

Atsumu pulled Jinta by the lapel and stuck his face into it. They were so close they could almost feel each other’s breathing.

“It’s my fault.”

“!!”

“On that day, Menma would die was all my fault.”

“W-What are you saying? It wasn’t your fault! It looked more like mine…Mmm?!”

“It’s my fault! I said it’s my fault!!”

Atsumu violently shook Jinta.

Right, Jinta could feel something trickling down his face—they were tears.

“Eh…?”

“If I didn’t say something like to Menma, Menma wouldn’t die…it’s I who caused Menma’s death!!”

Showers of tears affluently streamed from Atsumu’s eyes.

“If Menma really appear, she should appear before me…if she had to be a curse as a resentful spirit, she should also appear before me!!”

If Menma really appeared…

Jinta rolled his eyes and looked at Menma. Menma was staring at them seriously with straightforward eyes.

“But Menma didn’t appear! She didn't appear before me!!”

Yet, Meiko was now standing beside Atsumu.

“So, Menma isn’t here…isn’t in this world now!!”

She was just beside him. He wanted to hold her last face, the face that belonged to a person he couldn’t embrace anymore; and hence he prayed to become one body with her. Yet, she was just beside him, though Atsumu was totally unaware of this fact.

Even if he cry out loudly…even if his heart hurts so badly…

“Yukiatsu…Men-Menma?”

Atsumu’s eyebrows jumped to Jinta’s reaction.

“…eh?”

Meiko approached Atsumu and softly wiped his tears for him.

“What?!”

Atsumu was aware now. Something warm and soft softly touched his cheeks.

“Menma…is touching you.”

“Ah…ah.”

Atsumu’s whole body was trembling.

“No…this isn’t it…this isn’t it…”

He could feel it.

Before his mind could make it up, his body did. He made up the memoriable warmth of Meiko.

He was confused. He wanted to deny it, yet he wanted to accept it.

The person he longed for so long, Meiko...

Meiko looked at Jinta and said something in his ear. Jinta accepted Meko’s feelings and nodded his head solemnly.

“Menma wants me to tell something to you.”

“Eh…”

“Thanks for the hair clip. She also said, sorry…”

“!!”

Atsumu’s body shivered greatly. Then, he jumped off of Jinta’s body as if escaping.

“Yukiatsu!!”

He dashed up the slope.

“Hey, hey! Yukiatsu!”

His heart was quaking. Atsumu neglected Tetsudo and Naruko and passed through Chiriko without even turning his head around.

“…”

Chiriko heaved a long sigh. Chiriko, who usually feared cold, was now covered with a shirt immersed in sweat.

Atsumu’s memory of that day was a memory he could never forget.

On that day, Meiko rushed out of the sercret base, chasing Jinta. And Atsumu was chasing behind Meiko.

“Wait, Menma!”

“I can’t wait! If I don’t run faster, Jintan would get away.”

“You don’t need to care for that guy!”

Hearing Atsumu’s shouts, Meiko stopped running unconsciously.

“Menma isn’t any ugly girl…”

Atsumu stretched his hand into his short pants and took out a hair clip. A small pink flower was imprinted on it.

“For you.”

“Eh…”

“I think this hair clip is very suitable for you, Menma.”

He had bought it a month ago, but he couldn’t find a chance to give her. Nevertheless, it was the time now.

Atsumu’s face turned red, and he didn’t dare to look at Meiko’s face. Then, he cried,”it’s for my favourite Menma!”

It was the first confession experienced to either Atsumu or Meiko.

“Ah…Sor-Sorry!”

However, Meiko ran away in panic.

“Eh…”

“Um…Jinta is about to run away! Um, sorry…let’s talk about this next time!”

Bang and pop. Meiko had run afar.

Atsumu could only see her off.

“Rats!” He cried, throwing the hair clip in his hand into the bushes.

The same hair clip was worn by the ‘Menma’ Atsumu was holding in his hands.

It wasn’t ‘Menma’ anymore but just the scraps of Atsumu’s persistence. It was just a Meiko shell with a wig and a hair clip.

Atsumu leaned on the fence of the bridge, gazing steadily at the wig. The dress was put at his feet’s side. He was wearing a ridiculous costume composed of a sleevless garment and a short pants with a jacket covering him.

It looked as if Atsumu could easily discard the appearance as ‘Menma’, but in his heart…if he could really discard it like taking off clothes, perhaps he would have been saved early on.

“You look devastated.”

He lifted is head.

Chiriko was standing there. She must have chased him here.

“Are you satisfied now?”

“…”

“You knew everything from the very start…

“Don’t you wish I knew it?”

Chiriko knew where Atsumu bought the dress.

This is because she bought it with him after school. Not only was the dress but also the hair clip was bought. She was just shocked that he even had a wig.

Chiriko didn’t ask what Atsumu bought them for. Atsumu didn’t have the intention to explain to her.

Both of them remained silent. They had their own ‘Meiko trauma’. It was their new connection, unlike the one they had when they were small.

The connection should be like this originally.

But Chiriko…

“Why did you betray me?”

“…”

“What do you want to do?

(What do I want to do?)

Even Chiriko was unclear of what she felt.

Nevertheless, Chiriko wanted to save Atsumu. She wanted to pull him out from the ‘Menma’ darkness.

She had known this wouldn’t work. This would only pour salt on Atsumu’s wound, but Chiriko had prepared for this.

(I would suffer the pain with you.)

“Give it to me.”

“Ah…”

Chiriko picked up the dress beside Atsumu’s feet.

Scuff…

She covered the wide dress on herself.

Then, she snatched the wig from Chiriko’s hand and wore it on herself. Quickly, she had silver hair. Chiriko became the same as ‘Meiko’.

“Menma!”

Atsumu looked at the Menma in front of him, weeping.

Then, as if he had lost his strength, he fell down and embraced the same thing as ‘Menma’, Chiriko at her waist.

Chiriko stroked Atsumu’s hair lightly. It was a light brown, soft hair with a fragrance of summer grass.

“Menma…please don’t leave me again. Please don’t leave me…”

Atsumu repeated brushing against Chiriko’s waist. Chiriko gently smiled and solemnly nodded her head.

“I know…I would stay with you forever, Yukiatsu.”

To stay with you forever…

Chiriko was also hurt.

It wasn’t something that actually happened but just an imagination. With the dress in her hands, all she could do to it was to stare at it silently.

(Never could I become like Menma.)

Atsumu slowly stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“Where could I go apart from going back?”

“Where’s the dress? Give it back to me.”

“…”

Chiriko handed him the dress. Atsumu snatched it violently, turned away, and left.”

Seeing him off, Chiriko wondered what she could do to bring an end to this endless night. Chiriko didn’t know what to do.

It really hurt—Chiriko was hurt.

But, she couldn’t cry, for Atsumu upon her eyes was hurt more seriously than her.

Atsumu’s ‘Menma’ had vanished.

But it was only what it seemed. ‘Menma’ was still here: here, over there…there was sign of her existence everywhere.

No one could escape from ‘Menma’. Everyone was caught by ‘Menma’s’ face.

The river flowed slowly under the illumination of the moonlight. The trickling, cold waterflowing sound was telling them that they could never be forgiven.

### 032. Chapter 17 - Menma and I

## Chapter 17 : Menma and I

Having said goodbye to Hisakawa and Anjo, Menma and I walked back home.

Menma, who likes to speak so much, was now silent. Therefore, I also kept silent while I walked.

My chest that had been held onto by Matsuyuki still seemed to emit faint heat.

I wanted to say something to Menma, but I couldn’t find my words; I didn’t know what I should say.

Perhaps, Menma was now having the same feeling as I. She wanted to say something, but…

Matsuyuki’s face would always pop up in the head.

Then, all the words would be swept away by the turbulent emotions on the chest before they could reach the throat.

Spontaneously, the street lamps flashed brightly and dimly in the dark town. The street lamps were very far from each other. Menma’s body was shone after all that darkness but was then submerged in darkness again after a while.

Morning, come quicker.

I prayed to the night that had come just a moment ago.

Morning, come quicker…and shine upon Menma’s smile.

### 033. Chapter 18 - Third Memory

## Chapter 18: Third Memory

The white flower, like the jellyfish towel, was about to vanish.

I had to make a wish before it would vanish. As if making wishes to shooting stars, I had to make wishes to things about to vanish.

What wish should I make?

It couldn’t hold on anymore; it was about to vanish. Please don’t go, the white flower. I hadn’t made up my mind yet. Right, I hope…

I hope we could meet again.

## 02. Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day - Part 2

### 001. Chapter 1 - The Tree Hole We Remembered

## Chapter 1 : The Tree Hole We Remembered

The Tree Hole was wide open.

It was the Tree Hole in the big tree growing behind the secret base.

Its abysmal darkness conjured a feeling it might stretch to another world.

She was there, looking.

From her eyes one could not see a single dip of emotion. For I was scared, I kept stuffing stones into the tree hole.

When this was done, everything would be fine—I thought, heaving a sigh, and turned my head around...

Through the crevice between the stones, she...Meiko was looking this way.

I was more and more scared, stuffing stones inside recklessly, for I could not throw stones at Meiko. It would have been much better if I hadn't said "I hope we could meet again" on that day.

Meiko was inside the Tree Hole.

From that day onward, she continued hiding inside, silently.

### 002. Chapter 2 - What Happened After the Incident

“Yo, yo. Welcome. Do you want coffee?”

“Okay, sure. Thanks.”

It had been a week since the visual impact Matsuyuki gave us on that night in the secret base.

The days and nights after that felt short.

Mornings with Meiko around, and nights also.

Meaningless chats continued endlessly. Everyone played games and fooled around joyfully, sleeping once tired. Days like this, with the starting point and the ending point on the same day, were extremely refreshing.

The normal weekdays, though, when compared, became exceptionally long.

Even if I wanted to go to school, my legs wouldn’t heed to my request. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to let Meiko know I hadn’t gone to school, so I wandered around the whole day—there was only one bookstore, not a single manga restaurant, even the arcade centre was shut down—in this boring old town, where I could go was certainly limited.

Having nothing to do, I started to hide in the secret base three days ago.

I was a bit reluctant at first, but Popo was the same old guy I knew, and it was much breezier up in the mountains than down below. Ventilation was great and soothing too. Although I knew I was a coward for not going to school, it was already improvement compared to idling at home.

I sat flat down on the sofa in the secret base, shuffling some dust out.

“Hey, how does Meiko feel like?”

“Hmm, normal.”

There wasn’t anything normal to this, yet I deliberately replied in this way.

Meiko was back.

And she lived casually like the way she did back thn.

All the members in super peace busters believed she was back, yet none of them came to my house.

There wasn’t anything like “Meiko, let’s go play.”

To this unusual phenomenon, they might still be trying to acclimatise, which was justifiable, as even I was at a bit of loss when I first encountered it.

And the most important thing was that only I could see Meiko, but none others.

“Hold it.”

Popo was handing me the mug Tsurumi gave. In these mugs of various sizes, Popo had, since sometime, reckoned that this mug was ‘for my exclusive use’. Whenever possible, he would definitely use this mug to brew coffee for me.

And since sometime, I had unwarily called him by his nickname Popo, just like those days.

“Hey, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time thinking over this.”

“What’s up, Popo?”

Popo suddenly faced me straight and formally.

“Meiko’s wish...we must seriously, dedicatedly grant it for real!”

“Eh...”

To grant her wish for real.

“So you didn’t think of granting her wish for real before?”

“Ah, no! I didn’t mean that...but...”

Popo became a bit lost for words. Of course, I could understand his thoughts.

Until now, granting Meiko’s wish in Popo’s heart had the same feeling as presenting a flower when cleaning the grave. The more the heartfelt thoughts for Meiko, the more one wanted to present to her more beautiful flowers. At the same time, it was an act of assuring oneself.

But since feeling Meiko’s presence in reality, the thought of granting her wish had become to do something for her instead...albeit they could do nothing for her on that day before her leave, they hoped they could do something now with these new given circumstances...

“After all, everyone had believed in Meiko’s existence. Why don’t we call Tsuruko and Yukiatsu to come by...”

“Yukiatsu...”

At this instant, both of us ceased our movements.

A scene flashed through my mind—that figure making a strong impression, conjuring a mixed feeling of undesired sympathy, comedy, and horror.

No, I knew I must not laugh at him, and I didn’t at that time.

But truth be told, I often think of that figure throughout this week when I take a shower, go to the toilet, or eat with Meiko. Whenever this happened, sophisticated feelings would stirr from the bottom of my heart.

Something was telling me Yukiatsu wouldn’t work this out with us.

Because he was seen with that figure...

“Normally speaking, it would be difficult for him to get his spirits back up...”

“Yeah, it’s impossible, normally speaking.”

“Definitely impossible.”

Popo and I nodded our head deeply together, our brows furrowed clearly.

Normally speaking, it was impossible.

Yet things worked out the opposite from what Jinta and Popo surmised, for Atsumu was now having his supreme life casually and comfortably. He talked with prompting girls with ease, handed his homework swiftly, and ate scrambled eggs with shrimps in the cafeteria, and not ordinary every-day-switched lunch sets like udon or fried pork with fresh ginger.

“Shocking.”

Chiriko left her short, precise comment.

“Yeah, I’m shocked too. What happened back there must be because I was haunted.”

“So you say, but you seemed fully prepared for this? Even your thigh hair was shaved.”

“I didn’t bear much hair from the start, for my male hormones are little.”

“What shocked me wasn’t that perverted behaviour; it’s how you could return to your everyday life as if nothing happened.”

“Then what should I do to meet your expectation?”

“Be the second social recluse in the super peace busters, the first one being Yadomi Jinta.”

“It seems you are a genius at annoying me.”

Atsumu and Chiriko was spending their noon break leisurely behind the school building, leaning on the white walls of the new school building. Passing female juniors would cast glances at them from time to time, and whisper whatnots to each other. Glances casted at Chiriko were all but enmity.

“Look, I’m always being glared at because of you.”

“Well, those glares would vanish if I give them the photos of you dressing up as a girl.”

“Certainly.”

“It’s such a wonder to see what will become of you when your poker face is torn apart.”

“Now I think about it, I was in my worst condition after all.”

“Hmm?”

Even to someone as strong and tough as Atsumu, it was terribly embarrassing when his other side was exposed to the super peace busters.

A hair clip started it all. It was a hair clip he gave to Meiko, but rejected. One day, he saw an oddly familiar hair clip. Almost as if by instinct, he bought it, even when he knew Chiriko was right by his side, looking at him with disbelief. When he returned home, he put the hairclip on himself, feeling this act pathetic.

It was, however, a ritual to approach Meiko, a vital ritual to supersede the image of Meiko rejecting him, a process of visualising what would have happened if she accepted it.

To reinforce this visualisation, he concentrated on every shard of Meiko he could collect in his memory and infused it into himself. Looking at himself in the mirror, he repeatedly spoke of the words he wanted to hear from Meiko on that day. This meaningless ritual had turned tremendously meaningful eventually, and he became obsessed with harbouring the feeling of he himself being the sole knower of the present Meiko. Since Meiko had left the world, the Meiko he created was the closest existence of her. He was deeply convinced he was the only person in the super peace busters able to think of and visualise the most existing Meiko; hence, these thoughts made up of Meiko and her remains.

But he was completely devastated when Jinta called to grant Menma’s wish. It shattered him. It threw him into running around like a freak in the night dressed as a girl. It was only natural for him, as Chiriko stated, to turn into a social recluse or fall into total despair, but he didn’t. It soothed him. He now knew that Meiko’s existence had grown too large to be embedded in his own thoughts or feelings.

“How’s the white sundress?”

“Still here.”

“Are you still clinging to it?”

“Trash spirits would come out if I dumped it.”

If that trash spirit were Meiko, and if she had come to his house and not Jinta’s…a thought flashed through his mind.

“Oh, forget it then. Let’s leave that aside.”

Popo and I decided to leave Matsuyuki’s affairs aside for the moment.

It would be a nice pause to abstain from thinking of that appalling image of coarse thighs floating over the flying sundress, the apparent masculine features strongly remarking their presence on the thighs.

“Aren’t there any traces or hints on Menma’s wish? Something like a diary?”

Hearing Popo’s suggestion, I raised my head abruptly. Popo seemed too to have remembered what I was having in mind, and we said almost in unison, “The Exchange Diary!”

Indeed we had forgotten of it till now: in the period before summer, during those rainy days, we began to write a daily dairy.

“Let’s start writing exchange diaries!”

Anjo ran and started the idea ecstatically. She even prepared a notebook printed with an anime character I didn’t know.

“I heard that all best friends do this! Every kid in Tokyo! I saw it from the nicola magazine!”

“Too troublesome.”

All the boys felt it troublesome, save Matsuyuki who immediately replied, “I want to write! I want to write!” And Meiko said, “Well, that sounds fine.” Heck, thinking about it now, I found it too easy to know their respective reactions. We then started to exchange diaries. Anjo wrote meticulously with small font as if it was a book report for summer assignment. Because it was too sleep-inducing, I skipped what she wrote. For Popo’s diary, because of his bad handwriting and hence impossible to read, I skipped it as well. Matsuyuki’s were used as a reminder for what to be brought to school the day after, so it didn’t help me much either. The most normal diary was probably Tsurumi’s, where she even drew the animated version of heads of our class teacher and the headmaster, causing us to laugh our heads off. For Meiko’s part, what she wrote was dull stuff. To be honest, I don’t remember much. Left in my memories were only her special round characters. Yeah, nothing was quite left in my memories, as it ended quite in a rush. The deepest thing that carved into me was that—was that I was the one who ended the diary exchange.

I managed to get away with it for the first several times, but it became more and more tedious and tiring as Anjo and Tsurumi intiated their waves of reprimanding.

“Jintan, you stopped writing the exchange diary, didn’t you?”

“I have no idea. Wasn’t it Popo?”

“N-No. That isn’t me. I can swear: it isn’t me!”

Hearing my forced rebuttal, Meiko looked into me, her eyes wide. And though I know she knew it, I feigned ignorance since I did not plan to write anymore.

It happened that it was just the two of us returning home from school. Others had stuff to do or had a sick-leave. There wasn’t much to play for just two…well, maybe it was because of being alone with her that suggested some kind of uneasiness and embarrassment. So I decided to return home without doing anything else. While we were walking, vertically aligned, along the narrow passage beside the fields, she spoke from behind, “Hey, Jintan.”

“Yes.”

“You have the diary, haven’t you?”

“I don’t know. I said it might be at Popo’s…”

“I wouldn’t get mad. I’ll keep this a secret. So may you give it to me?”

I didn’t know what she meant at first.

Looking at me puzzled, Menma repeated slowly, “So may you give it to me?”

“Wuaghh! Is it really at your place? That’s terrible, Kintan! That’s absolutely insincere of you!”

Unlike those times, Popo, having grown big and strong, barked, his breathing heavy,

“It’s a sin of the past. Let it go.”

“I’ll let it go if you give me a ticket for a happy meal. One piece is now the featured item for the happy meal!”

“Okay, I know.”

“Hey! You have to wait for me, Hancock!”

Now that I think about it, why would Menma want to keep the exchange diary? Did she foresee her death? Did she want the memories of her pals to be at her side?

…of course that’s silly.

“Anyway, is the exchange diary at Menma’s place?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So why don’t we pay Menma’s mother a visit?”

“What…”

I didn’t attend Menma’s funeral.

In fact, I couldn’t. My father persisted to bring me to Toshimaen. Whenever he had a day off, he would bring me to hospital to visit my mother. I declined to go, for I heard from school that Menma’s funeral would be held on the same day. “I want to go to the funeral! I want to go! I want to go! Please let me!” I frantically insisted. My father was first silent for a while, but then he acquiesced. He laid his hands on my head and said softly, “Jinta, you have to do your best”—that was what my mother usually said.

Allowing me to wear black short pants, my father then went to the funeral with me. What was I thinking on the way there? I was quite emotional towards Menam’s death. Yet at that time I had no deep understanding of what it meant to attend her funeral.

This understanding was slapped onto me very soon. Near the entrance of the funeral, I saw a relative lifting Menma’s mother by the shoulder, who was all in tears. She didn’t put any makeup on, and perhaps her hair was not even cared for for the least bit. At first glance, I thought she was Menma’s grandmother. Unbelievable it was to see her aging so much.

When we were noticed, quite a few adults looked at us with caution. Menma’s mother, her face still wet with tears, lifted her head up to look at us—how she looked at us was so stunning that I couldn’t forget even till now. I believe what we call devils would bear such a look. On her face was nothingness created by complete lost of strength, yet filled subsequently with a convergence of all the dark hatred found in the world.

“Why are you here?” Her voice sounded like stabbing icicles into my back

Step by step, she approached me.

The relatives quickly pulled her by the shoulders. At the same time, she spoke of devilish spells. Although I knew she must have said something, I was deaf at that time; all I knew was fear, and all I could do was stand there, frozen. My father gave a big bow to those people, grabbed me, and took me away hastily.

The sounds of the cicadas, the sobs of Menam’s mother, and the murmurs of the monk combined into a form, chasing me, yet my legs were so stiff it seemed they didn’t belong to me anymore.

No one in the super peace busters attended her funeral. I believe they were stopped by their parents like me.

This was a small town, and there were times I came across Menma’s mother on the road. In spite of this, I had never dared to look at her. Did we turn away our gaze subconsciously? Or did her lowered her head while walking since then?

“To visit her mother…uh.”

Popo’s suggestion reminded me of those past memories. I couldn’t help lowering my head. For sure it was possible to acquire the diary through her, as she wouldn’t throw away the things her daughter had left, but…

“Just leave it!”

“Eh?”

A loud voice came to my ears, and turning around, I happened to see Anjo.

“What! W-When were you here?”

“You’ve been to the washroom for too long, Anaru.”

“Because there isn’t one around!”

“Oh my, don’t tell me dug a hole at the back of the mountain for that purpose.”

“That’s impossible! I got down the mountain and did it at the public toilets on the bridge!”

Anjo was wearing her school uniform. Looking up at the clock on the wall, I found that it wasn’t even yet noon.

“Anjo, did you skip school?”

“Eh? I…I didn’t really want to go to school this morning.”

“This person here even came to invite me to go to your place to visit Menma or something.”

“Gah! Didn’t I tell you to keep it a secret! You bastard!”

“It’s better to be honest, Anjo.”

I was actually a bit excited to see her face red and puffy. We were still wary of the future, but we knew in our hearts we still care for Menma: those that care of her had gathered here.

“Look, this is what I said would happen.”

“Eh?”

Anjo suddenly responded to my unconscious murmur.

“Ah, no. Nothing.”

Hearing her say that, I immediately remembered Anjo being named by Menma as someone from a planet of naught, and laughter came from my heart.

“Hmm? What should that mean, Yadomi; it’s gross!”

Menma, you really are not isolated.

### 003. Chapter 3 - Exchange Diary

“Phew, so boring.”

Meiko was playing the DS console she borrowed from Jinta. The screen quality improved a lot compared to five years ago, but soon after she was captivated by its freshness, she grew tired of it.

The blazing sun still shone at the white sky outside, but there was not a single window in the living room to let fresh light hop in, rendering the atmosphere dull. It was when night came and the fluorescent lights were on that her joyful laughter would feel more lively.

She could tell Jinta didn’t go to school, and she understood why. Carelessly she once told him that perhaps her wish was for him to go to school, which burdened him greatly. She felt the same towards the affairs with Atsumu and her mother. It was her “careless existence” that injured them. She could apologise if it were Jinta, but she couldn’t do even this much to Atsumu. Why could she?

Taking a fountain pen, she flipped a page in a diary and started writing, but the words she wrote vanished slightly above the paper.

Meiko could embrace Jinta and eat ramen, but why couldn’t she write or voice her thoughts to everyone?

I really am isolated.

Jinta once told her that she wasn’t an isolated person, yet this feeling kept lingering. When she returned home where her parents and her brother live, she accidently broke a cup. This mere accident threw the whole family like a pebble into the pond, stifling it with sinister atmosphere.

There was things in this world that could never be left, and she was one of them—a person isolated.

Evil, am I?

Meiko, again, began to remember the time when she first joined the super peace busters.

For her different hair and eye colour, she was referred to as an outsider in kindergarten. She knew nothing of what the word outsider meant, and she asked her mother. Her mother answered her, with a hint of loneliness in her smile, that there was no need for her to think about it at that time. It per se was an answer, but it didn’t answer her question. Not long after, she knew outsiders meant foreigners, and was taken literally as “outside people”. According to this word, she could imagine such a scene: in the freezing winter night, she was kicked barefoot outside the door. And as if receiving someone’s goodwill, she would hold some kind of pocket that would hold rice backpackers take along, the only things are sesame sprinkled on top of the rice. Warm orange fluorescent lights would seep out from the windows; laughter would crawl out from within. But she couldn’t join their circle. The doghouse was where she could sleep in. As her house raised no dogs, she would have to borrow a dog house from their neighbour. The dog residing in was a scary dog that howled frequently at her. Could she be in good terms with the dog? Would it bite her? She would imagine herself in this state and naturally fall in tears.

Before she met Jinta and the super peace busters, she was always the outsider. But they were the turning point for her: they treated her like they would to anyone else.

She could empathise with Jinta’s feeling of resistance to go to school, for Jinta now was too an outsider in school. But she couldn’t bring Jinta back to their circle, for she herself had become the outsider in this world.

Jinta treated so kindly to her, yet she couldn’t do anything in return.

Everything would have been better if she was alone from the very beginning. She wouldn’t have been so lonely now had she not gone through a roller costar of emotions. It was because she experienced the joy in living with the super peace busters that pained her so much when she returned to loneliness. The sultry feeling doubled and even tripled

“Jintan, come back sooner.”

Ding dong.

What was that?

Wind coursed in from the open windows. Listening to the crisp bell sounds, Meiko turned around, only to see Jinta’s mother staring silently at her. It was the picture of the deceased placed on top of the shrine, looking as though she was staring at her from that small window.

Ding dong, ding dong…

“Menma.”

It was an ever-present memory.

The breeze embodied the softness of lukewarm water mixed with BATHCLIN soap as well as comfortable humidity, caressing the curtains ever so softly. Jinta’s mother was stroking Meiko, who went to visit her all by herself. Her fingers were extremely skinny and out of place; countless injection scars stirred one’s sympathy; yet Meiko felt her touch gentle and caring.

“Actually, I have something I want you to help me with, Menma.”

“Yes, what is it?”

Meiko’s vision started to blur.

Wasn’t it she herself that embraced some kind of hope?

Passing through the bridge that connected the secret base, we came to some place in the shopping district. I didn’t know why I started going back home with Anjo. Disturbing sounds of crackling high-heeled shoes incessantly hit me from behind. Her height was similar to mine, yet her pace was totally different.

Women are such troublemakers.

I could do nothing but to decrease my pace as much as I could. Under the setting sun, Anjo’s shadow showed the contours of the two sides of her bundled hair swaying. This shadow seemed to want to tell me something.

Hell, women are such a trouble.

Suddenly, the shadow danced to a completely new beat.

“Hey! I-I…”

“Eh?”

I followed Anjo’s gaze, happening to see a washing shop. An old lady walked out from the shop, holding a basket full of clothes. Though I say her an old lady, she looked pretty delicate. Her back was straight, and she wearing an elegant long dress that went over her knees. If you look at her by her contours, she was no old lady but a young woman. If you ask why she would look like an old lady, it was because of her complete and not dyed white hair.

“!!”

She was Menma’s mother. Why, why in this moment I had to be with Anjo? Although I would imagine she would avert her eyes the way she normally did when we come cross each other, the little difference today created a subtle effect…

“Jinta, and Naruko?”

Seeing Menma’s mother straightforwardly approaching me, I got tensed up all of a sudden, cold sweat instantly pouring throughout my body.

“Ah, h-how are you?” My voice changed by my over-nervousness. Menma’s mother, despite noticing my nervousness, managed a smile easily.

“Please take a seat, although it’s a bit messy around.”

How did it end up like this?

We were invited passionately by Menma’s mother to go to her house and have tea.

“Menma must be overjoyed, for you two always come by.”

Liar.

We had always been frightened by Menma’s father. Even when we politely talked with him, he would still put out a dull face and continue reading his newspapers, telling us to go away to play or something. So, in total we had only came twice…wait, probably thrice. But why did Menma’s mother had to lie?

“Could you two greet Meiko?”

With that said, Menma’s mother threw a glance at a corner of the room. A shrine was placed there, along with Menma’s photo of her big smile. It wasn’t the Menma before me now that had grown slightly, but the one completely consistent with my memory. For there were no discrepancy, it looked more like a smile by another girl, placed there alone.

“…”

Feeling a pain of something grasping my heart, I couldn’t help but avert my eyes. I believe Anjo experienced a similar thing. The strong emotion wave from our backs hit us through air. It seemed I had become sort of companions with Anjo.

There was no humbleness of remembering the deceased embodied in the action of closing the hands and ringing the bell. It was all simple and habitual. Menma’s mother brought them out, the only sense in her being the constant supervision over us.

“Um, I actually have something to give you two,” she said, then smiling, but her smile was painted apparently with colours of declaring war with us.

“Please hold on for a moment.”

The room she brought us to was an empty orange room. It wasn’t orange because of its wallpaper, nor was it of any furniture, for there was none, not even curtains on the windows; it was because of the setting sun’s glow that shone in every corner of the room.

Affected by these tones, sweat oozed throughout my body—cold sweat, maybe.

This was Menma’s room. I wouldn’t believe this was her room if no one had told me.

Scarcely had I been here that I could have any strong memories of this place, yet I remembered there were all kinds of toys and plushies originally placed in this room.

But in this striking scene, I could not bring myself to remember. My body was hot, yet no sweat really came out.

Anjo and I looked at each other, knowing nothing to do. We only prayed for time to pass faster.

Menma’s mother, having rummaged through the wardrobe for a while, said, “Everything is inside here.”

With that said, she placed a small cardboard box and placed it in the centre of the room.

“,,,”

Probably this was what you call being struck speechless.

In that cardboard box were several photo albums, Menma’s drawings, and some miscellaneous stuff like her reading reflections.

Everything , as I quote from Menma’s mother, that showed Menma’s evidence in this world was stuffed in this small cardboard box.

“Her father said we shouldn’t let her stuff to stick around, “ Menma’s mother continued with her calm smile, “I want to keep this, but it also belongs to you, so I guess it’s better to give it to you.”

Menma’s mother took something out from the box.

Should I call it coincidence? What she took was what we were looking for—our exchange diary.

Anjo and I returned straight to the secret base and reported everything to Popo.

Popo said we had to get everyone to agree before we could start reading, so he sent emails to the others.

“They probably won’t come anyway. We’ll read first.”

“No way. It’s bad luck!”

“How’s this bad luck? Besides…”

Matsuyuki wouldn’t even come. That was what I thought, but…

“

“Yo, thanks for the effort.”

He came.

Matsuyuki and Tsurumi had just arrived to the station, wearing the uniform of the prestigious high school I hate.

“I heard you guys found the exchange diary.”

Despite this being his first appearance after his embarrassing incident, he threw condescending glances at us. I thought of giving him a good luck by pretending to hold on to my laughter, but I let it go.

“Everyone’s here now! Let’s start reading the exchange diary.”

Popo flipped the diary with his big fingers.

Nervousness coursed through the secret base, but unable to read the air, Popo continued his own business.

On the first page of the diary were crowded scribbles. Popo commenced with a joyful tone, “Oh! Anaru’s the first one hitting the bat!”

“Don’t put it in such a weird way!”

“What is this? I don’t get you. Even if there are painful things in my life, I still want to celebrate on my birthday, because…”

“!!”

Fluttered, Anjo quickly flipped to the next page.

“What do you mean?”

“Th-There’s nothing there! Now read Menma’s!”

Anjo fingered the diary in a flurry. Not long, Menma’s iconic round letters appeared.

They were what Menma wrote.

“Okay…”

Everyone was drawn in by Menma’s letters before they had even read what was on it, for the illusion that Menma had leaped through time and space was so strong in those letters.

Even I who had recently been used to Menma’s presence was thrown off.

“Yes! It was fun today playing in the secret base.”

Anjo read aloud the lines Menma wrote.

“We went digging taros today. It was interesting.”

“What she wrote was not entirely stupid, but it wasn’t anything worth reading.”

Anjo continued reading the lines Menma wrote on the diary in the following days, but…

“Everything is fun or interesting as long as those lines go.”

“She isn’t really good at writing.”

The difference of we looked at the diary now compared to the past ripped us of our strength. I bet we treated this diary routine really serious back then.

“Okay, this is a bit different! When I played with everybody today, I fell down. It hurt.”

“It’s different here as well? Let’s go to hospital today to visit Jintan’s mother…”

“Mm!”

Jintan’s…mother?

“Visiting her, uh?”

“Yeah, we used to meet together for the visit.”

We did visit my mum when her condition wasn’t that bad.

I don’t even have to mention how worried I was.

But I had no particular feeling towards death in those days. Hospital was only a place to go, an extra spot to play apart from the nearby playing ground. And there was a desolate pig farm close to the hospital that we could go to. We would cry to those pigs, “So big!” “It stinks!” “Wugh…” and the like. It was a good time for me.

My mother always greeted us smiling. My mother’s condition worsened in only two months, so we had no idea why she had to stay put in the hospital.

“Um, when can Jintan’s mother get out of the hospital?”

On the road back home, Anjo raised this question. It was responded swiftly by Menma’s suggestion, “Why don’t we write letters to the gods? We can ask them to make Jintan’s mother better!”

“Writing letters to gods?”

It was a weird suggestion, but we agreed. When we were small, we just attribute these unexplainable and faraway matters to the territory of gods.

“But how do we send them?”

While everyone was paining their heads, Popo stood up and said, “Jintan, use that!”

He pointed to a poster on an old display board for the annual dragon fireworks ceremony in this town. These fireworks weren’t the flowery beautiful types but the old traditional types that fire out a massive amount of paper-made snowflakes.

“Hm! Okay, I remember.”

On a whim, I snatched the diary from Popo and flipped through it.

“Jintan?”

“Everyone decided to make fireworks. It’ll be difficult, but I’ll work hard.”

“Oh that!”

“I can remember too. We thought of writing letters to gods and sending them by throwing them into fireworks directed to the gods!”

Upon hearing Tsurumi’s words, Popo jumped up.

“Oh! Wonderful! Hey, Jintan! I think this is it! This is Menma’s wish!”

“…”

“Right! We thought of doing that, but we couldn’t make it. Yadomi…”

They were all made for my mother.

Looking at the line ‘It’ll be difficult, but I’ll work hard’, I couldn’t help stroking the paper, as if I could feel her warm prayers through my fingers.

If this was what she wished—no, even if this wasn’t. Menma, as well as everyone, embraced such feelings for my mother.

“You guys are sure getting worked up. But sorry for raining the parade, this won’t work.”

I lifted my head abruptly to Matsuyuki’s cold remark.

Matsuyuki, who had been playing around with his smartphone, showed me the phone with a website on it. On it was information on using fireworks and the like.

“Here. Read it. Fireworks belong the category of explosives and can only be used by those over eighteen with a national license.”

“What, really?”

“Of course. We might get by if we’re going to have toy fireworks, but even those need licenses.”

Dejected, Popo threw himself on the floor.

“It makes sense though. You would need a license to use fireworks…”

“Still…”

“What’s up on your mind, Yadomi?”

“If this is really Menma’s wish, I contend to make it come true.”

I said them on a whim.

I could feel eyes landing on me, my cheeks heating up.

“Um…no…how do I put it. I know it’s technically impossible, but I…”

When I tried to hide my embarrassment in a panic, Popo came in, his head straight and forward, “So that’s what it means!”

“What do you mean? You’re not making sense.”

“I found this half a year ago while cleaning things up.”

Popo rummaged through some pile in the room and lifted a ruffled piece of rough paper.

“Here, this is it!”

“The instructions on how to make a rocket firework?”

We rolled out the paper. On it were badly-written, crowded characters and illustrations on the rocket firework. Matsuyuki said with a frown, “Are you serious?”

Tsurumi readjusted her glasses and perused it.

“Gather a large amount of fireworks, extract the explosive contents and then converge them back together...”

“Stuffing them into the toilet paper roll → impossible because it will burn…okay, this person is being captain obvious.”

“Nasty. Ideas kids come up with are nasty.”

While we entertained ourselves with the ridiculous ideas on the paper, Matsuyuki murmured, “Well, we sure thought that would work before.”

“Yeah. I thought that would let those fireworks fly.”

Drawn on the paper was a crooked rocket.

It looked as huge as a real one, though its shape not even close to one.

Still, it appeared more triumphant than the fireworks used in the festival. It looked it was capable of shooting through the clouds into the sky, to where the gods resided…well, at least that was what we had once believed.

“Highschoolers sounded like omnipotent people to us back then.”

“Yeah, it sounded as if they were capable of almost everything.”

We felt beaten by our childhood innocent hopes; everyone remained silent, staring at the illustration on the paper.

Popo was the one who broke silence.

“Let’s do this!”

“Eh?”

“I know an old man from my workplace who lets off fireworks in the festival. I can ask him!”

“Really?”

Popo’s suggestion revitalised the atmosphere.

“Wait. Yadomi, I think it’s better if you first ask Menma about this.”

Matsuyuki’s comment made the atmosphere sultry again.

“Asking Menam about this?”

“Yeah. Even if we were able to have a professional to help us and let out real fireworks, it would only be a waste of energy if this wasn’t that Menma’s wish you’re talking about.”

Matsuyuki showed a malicious smile.

I didn’t know how to answer him. I didn’t want myself or him to get hurt if I say something wrong.

But now that I had read the words written by Menma when she was small and understood her feelings, I decided not to think too much.

“Let’s go to Menma’s place next time, then.”

“Geh!”

“Menma have long wanted to see everyone. She’s lonely.”

“…”

No one made an immediate answer.

After a while, Popo cheerfully said “You’re right!” Although everyone had reached a consensus on ‘the past Menma’, no one could agree on a way to treat ‘the present Menma’.

“I don’t mind going with you to Yadomi’s place.”

Hearing Chiriko’s offer, Matsuyuki couldn’t help looking down. They were walking along the small slope from the secret base. Unlike the summer, the buzzing sounds of early autumn bugs would cover the sounds of the flowing river.

“It’s fine to go and play at a friend’s house even if the guardian isn’t around.”

“By friend you mean Yadomi?”

Matsuyuki was poked at a weak spot, and though he wanted to rebuke, his disarrayed thoughts gave him no strength to do so.

Matsuyuki just remained silent, and Chiriko pursued no further.

The melancholic woods in the night were filled with various memories. The infinity sign drawn in the night sky during the BBQ, for one, had been deeply engraved in Matsuyuki’s heart.

It was the sign of the super peace busters, the proof that they were forever friends.

Matsuyuki was no longer doubtful of Meiko’s presence.

He could feel the infinity sign existing in the long line of the white dress. One day he would be led, by his strong stubbornness, to the ‘real Menma’.

He was sure this would happen.

That was why he was afraid of going to Jinta’s house.

If he came too close to Meiko, probably the next one to follow Meiko’s disappearance was himself—his intuitions told him.

“Fu…”

Right after arriving home, Naruko flew herself below her blankets.

She regretted she had left the exchange diary at the secret base, but she couldn’t propose to them that she would take care of the diary.

Originally, she had completely forgotten what she had written on that diary, but when she saw a glimpse of that page, all of her memories were brought back from the grave.

“Even if there are painful things in my life, I still want to celebrate on my birthday.”

…because birthday cakes are delicious.

They always give me warmth and satisfaction.

The inventor of cakes must have been a great person.

He must have been a nice person.

It was a weird entry for a diary, but it was something that demanded a lot of her determination to write. It was a love letter that hid strong will.

Reading those lines vertically—it was something she learnt from a shoujo manga.

If you pick up the first letter from each line in that diary entry, you would end up with “I love Jintan.”

She wrote it, thinking that it would be great if Jintan would notice it, but it ended up being completely ignored.

She first thought no one in the secret base had discovered, but Chiriko’s wicked smile at her gave her an impression she had known.

I really want to teach my childhood self a lesson. How could I have fallen in love with that social recluse?

Whenever Naruko thought of Jinta, she would be yapping social recluse again and again as if it was a spell.

If she didn’t do this, however, her past feelings would come back to her—she feared this.

Just why did this happen?!

The stuff she had used to attract Jinta’s attention, including dying her hair, painting her fingernails, had somehow become tools to alienise herself from him.

Yadomi might hate me, because I don’t even like how I am now. So it might have been all the better to stay the same.

Her phone below her bed was ringing.

On the screen was her high school friends. She didn’t really enjoy their constant messages, but she still picked up the phone so she wouldn’t think too much about Jinta.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Karaoke music and boisterous voices came from the other end of the phone. Today was a party, but Naruko didn’t feel like joining.

“Hey, Hiroshi is already here waiting. You can come anytime now.”

“Eh? I told you I’m not coming.”

At this moment, a coarse “Drag her in!” line came from some rude man afar. It certainly was scary.

Probably to suppress what was said, her friend lowered her voice.

“Say, Naruko, aren’t you being a bit left out recently?”

“Eh…”

“If you overdo it, you’d get hated. You have to show up from time to time. I say you should come.”

“…”

Her friend’s voice penetrated her body.

After ending the call, Naruko was still at a loss. When she was talking with Jinta and other members at the secret base, she didn’t need to care how others would think of her or what would happen. She could speak her heart.

But this was impossible with her new friends.

She could never face them with her real self, for the self she showed was forged difficultly.

Naruko heaved a sigh and opened the wardrobe. Although it was past eight, she still had to show up at the party.

It was all to make herself a person Yadomi would definitely hate.

### 004. Chapter 4 - The Tree Hole We Remembered and a Spur of the Moment

Trapped in the treehole, Menma had never disappeared, for she was only trapped, but had not vanished. Her voice would pass through the gaps between the pebbles, indicating her little but existing presence.

At night, even when I cover myself with blankets from head to toe, Menma’s voice would still reach me. Wuuuu Wahh sounds of moaning and sobbing.

What should I do? I could never sleep like this. My mother once told me that I wouldn’t grow up if I don’t sleep well. Surely, I would never become an adult I I don’t. I shouldn’t only trap Menma, but also had to erase her existence completely. But I could never do anything so cruel. Bullying is not permitted.

So, there’s only one way—to grant Menma’s wish.

“You’re back.”

When I returned home, Menma greeted me, albeit an elongated sweet voice, with a sultry face.

“Yeah, I’m back. Hey, what are you doing?”

“Breathing.”

“What a child you are!”

By the way, she really is a child, as she has never changed.

“Jintan’s father came back for a while during lunch, and then headed back to work.”

“Right.”

Held by a guilty conscious, I couldn’t look at Menma face on. And this girl really was reproaching me….of course she would know that I skipped school.

“Eh?”

Menma abruptly pulled my arm.

“Come over here!”

“Hey, what are you doing, Menma?”

Only after we had reached the kitchen did Menma loosen her hand. Then she spread her arms wide and gave a mischievous smile.

“Look!”

Following where she pointed, I saw something above the heating blanket—irregular white blobs stacked on a big white plate.

“Th-That’s…”

“Steamed bread!”

“Yeah!”

My mother used to make these for me back then. Before school began, once she said she would make steamed bread for snacks, I would immediately tell everyone, and couldn’t wait in class for eating that instead of the lunch distributed at school. After school, I would dash back home, taking everyone else along, open the door, and smell its puffing aroma.

“Mum, are they done?”

“Yes, they are.”

My mother’s smile and the white-smoke-puffing steamed bread were memorable days. Still, they are just impressions taken from my memory, scraps of events that had no relation whatsoever to the blob in front of me. The appearance was different. So was the smell. And there weren’t any white smoke since they had been put her for a long time.

But Menma made them for me.

“Try it, Jintain. Try it!”

I took a bite.

“…”

Instantly, a soft sensation comes from my front teeth, contrasting some small harder stuff within the steamed bread. Taking another bite, I can feel a gentle touch on my tongue, an increasing taste of nori expanding inside my mouth…

Nori?

“Why is there nori in the steamed bread?”

“Because that’s the version for night. It’s not a snack but the rice version. The rice version!”

What she said seemed true—all other steamed bread were ‘rice versions’. Inside the bread were dried plums, rice seasonings, along with Menma’s favourite chili oil…

“This is…very original.”

“Hehe, there’s also the crisp taste of garlic! It’s very delicious!”

Quickly I turned to take a look at the kitchen, deciding to know the status of the factory that produced this scary taste: unwashed cooking utensils stacked like a mountain, telling me how massive a project it is to create this new taste of steamed bread.

Was she spending all her time cooking while I was idling around outside? Well, she had a lot of free time to kill, though I did give her a DS console. The pain of staying at home and having nothing to do was too easy to understand for a social recluse like me.

“Is it good?”

“Yeah,” I replied in reflex, although it wasn’t anything good.

But the taste wasn’t important; it was Menma’s remembrance of my mother’s steamed bread; it was how I had left her at home all alone but she had no intention of reproaching me and even gave me a warm smile; this was why every bite would spread Menma’s warmth in my stomach.

“By the way…”

“What?”

“Could your wish…be something related to fireworks?”

“Fireworks? Ahh!” shrieked Menma, her eyes widened; perhaps that was her forgotten wish—she repeated enthusiastically.

“But why? You’re so good. How did you remember?”

“Yeah, it was Popo, and everyone else had also talked about you.”

“Ehh! Everyone has come together?”

“Eh? N-Not really, it was all incidental.”

“Menma wants to meet everyone too!”

“Well, sure, we would come back together for the fireworks. We said we would meet at the secret base after school. I’ll bring you next time.”

I still despised myself for continuing lying that I was still going to school, I always had those urges to win triumph.

“Together? Is everyone deciding to make fireworks for me?”

“Yeah.”

“I see. Everyone has finally…”

Menma fell silent.

Then she flashed a smile back again and said cheerfully, “Okay! Let me do more practice on making steamed buns. I’ll make them for everybody!”

“Sure.”

“Then we’ll eat steamed buns while drawing fireworks. After that, we’ll…”

“…hey, Menma.”

“Yes. What’s up?”

“Are you…crying?”

Although she forced herself to speak brightly and cheerfully, her eyes had long been overflowing with tears.

“Eh? Why am I…I am not sad. I’m…I’m happy…”

“…”

Menma incessantly wiped off the tears fro her eyes with the back of her hand, upholding her joyous smile at the same time. I stared silently at her, my memories slowly surfacing…

When I was small, I didn’t like Menma crying all the time.

This wasn’t because it appeared bothering to me.

This was because every time she cried, she cried not for herself, but for someone else.

When I look at her, I feel I am the one who made her cry. It is unbearable.

It was past midnight.

I lay on the sofa, glaring at Menma’s abdomen, which was rising and falling in repetition. This was a warm, heartfelt time.

For long, since the day Menma disappeared, my heart was shrinking.

I had long forgotten what I liked, or the simple feelings of happiness.

I declared I would help her wish come true, yet she was the one who was making the wish I had stored in my heart come true.

The wish to see her was the wish I embraced on the day I burst into tears.

In the warm, as if granted, gentle atmosphere, she granted my wish.

“Fu…fu…”

Tonight the pervasive buzzing sounds of the late summer insects were gone.

Only Menma’s breathing voice streamed through the quiet night.

Looking at her fine eyelashes, I couldn’t help but wonder how great it would be if this moment could be eternal.

“…but I must repay her.”

I must repay Menma, who granted my wish.

I must repay Menma, who only cries for others.

### 005. Chapter 5 - The Price of the Wish

“Well, you’d have to spend at least two hundred thousand yen for this.”

The boss of Popo’s workplace as well as a maker of fireworks, said, as he pressed his cigarette with his thick and short fingers.

“What?! Two hundred thousand…”

“Hey, can’t you give us a discount?”

“That’s a big discount already.”

“Ugu…”

Popo and I looked at each other at the gate of that man’s house. In the court where weird tools were placed messily, the cat in the house was stepping on grasshoppers with its paw.

“Ugu…I wonder if I can make it if I work longer.”

“Popo, I can also work…”

Popo interrupted me before I could finish, “You’re still in high school, right?”

“Eh? I didn’t really…well, you can say I’m a student in a high school.”

“Then you’ll need to get permission to work.”

“A permission to work?”

“Before I had once let a young guy come in and work, but he brought great trouble for us. Since then, we don’t let students in if they don’t get permission from their high school.”

I must get permission…which means…

“So I’ll need to go to school to get permission, correct?”

I said to myself. Popo stared at me silently, making no voice.

‘It’s fine, Jintan! Leave the money to me!”

On the way back home, Popo bought me a can of coffee from an automatic vending machine.

To go to school to get permission to work.

Why did such an easy thing drag my leg? Why was such an easy task so insurmountable for me?

“Jintan, you're the leader after all. You have to be the main force that stand firmly behind us.”

“…”

“Besides, you’re the only one who can see Menma. So you have to take care of her and pay attention to her feelings. Oh, by the way, get into contact with Anaru.”

Popo took his phone out and started calling Anjo…well, he said that just to be considerate to me.

“What the heck, Anaru is not even answering the call.”

“She’s still in school, I guess.”

“Okay, I see. Then let’s give Yukiatsu an email.”

I was given such favour by this useless man Popo.

I…I had no dignity.

It was still early.

Popo had work in the afternoon, so I parted with him at the crossing road. It was still hot, but the wind had a refreshing grassy taste. The big clouds floating on the sky foretold the coming of autumn.

“…”

In this situation, I couldn’t even do a little thing.

But Menma coming back wasn’t anything little to start with.

On the following day, I found something I could at least pull out.

Having brushed my teeth and washed my face, I did my usual chores of pretending to go to school, but before heading out, Menam said something out of the blue.

“Hey, Jintan, I’m sorry.”

“What? Why are you apologising?”

“Because apologising doesn’t need money!”

“Are you apologising first just to lower the threatening power of what you are going to say and do later?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m thinking.”

Why did Menma apologise to me?

Did she notice what I was thinking? Or did she found out I was troubled by trying to hide my job from school?

While I walked with these muddled thoughts, I had hit the road to school.

“Ahaha!”

High-pitched laughter stung my ears. Students in uniform strode past me. I had increased my step length, yet people still walked past me.

Leave them alone. I had to keep my head high and keep calm.

I couldn’t get to school if I let weird thoughts get into me.

If I couldn’t get to school, I couldn’t work. Then that would mean I couldn’t let Menma pass on to the afterlife.

“Jintan, recently, I…”

To keep my spirits up, I quietly hummed a song.

Calmness worked out. I reached the stairs of the school, hit by the special smell of rubber from the slippers I hadn’t smelled for a long time.

“Woah, it’s real.”

“I can’t believe she still has the guts to come to school.”

I could hear people giving opinion on others.

My calmness was shaken. Anyway, what is being normal in school?

For the time being I just looked down at the floor. If my eyes meet with someone else, who knows what…

“That person, from the third class of the first year…”

“Yeah, her, Naruko Anjo!”

“!?”

Upon hearing Anjo’s name, I couldn’t help lifting my head that I had tried to lower so hard.

“!”

At the front of the corridor, I happened to see Anjo following a teacher sulkily.

At the instant when Anjo met my eyes, she showed a face of about to cry and quickly averted her gaze.

To that back of hers, the students continued badmouthing her. But because I was in the corridor, the subtle echoing effects only passed noise to my ears.

What happened?

I soon knew the rumours, for everyone in the classroom was talking about Anjo.

I had almost forgot where I sit, so I asked an unattractive male classmate, and he pointed to a seat and told me it was an empty seat. It seemed he had no interest in me.

Of course, a few people still noticed my presence and whisper, “Who’s that guy?” to other girls, but I didn’t receive much attention a while later. I was only some a rare breed who hadn’t come to school for a long time. On the other hand, oddity in people who usually go to school would arouse more interest.

Oddity in what Anjo did…that was…

“You’re too careless, Anjo. Love hotels aren’t that big a matter.”

“I heard the people from PTA< >PTA (Parents and Teachers Association) is the association formed by both the parents and teachers to improve students’ welfare saw her. It was a middle-aged man, I hear.”

“Is it compensated dating?”

Those pork chops that had once been close to Anjo hid themselves in a corner.

I could guess what had happened.

Even so, I didn’t think I could believe it.

For Anjo to go with someone to a love hotel is not something unexpected based on how she looked now…but still…

At this moment, the door of the classroom was suddenly opened.

“Okay, return to your seats right now.”

The person coming in was a seemingly weak class teacher. Behind her was Anjo, looking aloft with provocation.

Glances in the classroom fell all at her. Of course, mine included.

“Well, let’s begin. Anjo, you should go to your seat too.”

Like Moses, Anjo crossed the sea of curious gazes as if nothing happened.

I should have been the protagonist in this kind of stage.

Anjo sat behind me. Well, I did remember this was the seat arrangement we had. A pork chop seating beside her approached her and chat with her, pretending to be very close.

Her words also slipped into my ears.

“What bad luck, Naruko.”

“…”

Anjo completely ignored that pork chop, who consequently returned to her seat in embarrassment. She might well be partly responsible for Anjo going to the love hotel.

“Okay, first open your textbooks to page…”

Followed by the teacher’s slacking voice, we started the lesson.

Now no one was bothered that I was around.

I had ignored the weak teacher, secretly glancing at Anjo at times. In the noise of my classmates, I could often find easy and simple keywords like ‘love hotel’, ‘erotic’, or even something as obscene as ‘if I ask her, she might have a go with me’. Followed by those keywords was deliberately suppressed laughter.

What torture. The victim should have been me.

When I hear keywords such as ‘shut-in’ or ‘a rare face’, though, I was so excited I could skip to a dance.

Behind me were scratching sounds made by a mechanical pencil. It was Anjo.

Even in times like this, she was making notes. Even when matters had fallen to this state, she was still serious in her work, just like the old times.

Anjo wasn’t good at learning. She was more serious than everybody in making and compiling her notes, yet she didn’t earn a good grade in the exams.

Even so, she didn’t give up making notes in every lesson. She had always worked so hard to write the small characters in her notebook.

“…”

I couldn’t help turning my head around to have a glimpse. I was worried about her…no, maybe I was just curious of ‘the Anjo’s notebook’ I hadn’t seen for a long time.

I couldn’t find the reason of doing so myself, but I still did it. What I found, on her notebook, though, had no trace of seriousness: there were only messed up characters running wildly along the paper.

Words included ‘I didn’t do it’, ‘I told you it isn’t’, ‘stop badmouthing me’, ‘shut up now, go to die’ and the like…and written at a corner was—‘save me’.

“!!”

Anjo kept feigning a face that she didn’t care by repeatedly writing with her mechanical pencil.

Those scratching sounds were the same as sobbing sounds to me.

“Ahahaha!”

Despicable laughter made Anjo’s shoulders twitch vibrantly. My shoulders twitched as well.

Pang!

“What?”

Before I could notice, I had rose to my feet.

My hands raised sky high, I declared loudly to the entire class, “You guys…look at me!”

“Jin-Jintan?”

“Look at me! I am that man who had never come to school! Ever since the opening ceremony and the first week, I had been skipping school. Doesn’t this face here look unfamiliar to you?!”

The class teacher seemed to have finally noticed my presence and flipped the student handbook in a flurry.

“Eh…you’re…Yadomi-kun?”

Among the noise in the class was “Who’s that guy?” “Isn’t he that Yadomi guy” and the like. All of their attention had fallen on me.

All of these glances should belong to me! I wouldn’t just hand them to someone else! With that in mind, I pointed to Anjo violently.

“You can see this bloke anytime you want! Love hotel? Are you guys getting so worked up for something this trivial? You can tell from her looks she has gone to a love hotel for more than once!”

“From her looks? Hey…”

“But…!”

“!?”

I couldn’t stop.

I could feel my ears getting hot, but I just blended the heat into my words.

“Let me make it clear to all of you. This bloke would never do anything like compensated dating! Because this bloke’s a blood-type-A, Virgo, glasses-wearing girl! She’s a woman who works off her ass wearing her glasses, having no relation to adventure whatsoever, boring to hell…Wu!”

“Stop saying any more useless crap!”

In a panic, Anjo stopped me by locking me under my two shoulders.

At this moment did I find out that the curious glances landing on me and the whispers were gone. In their stead were mouths agape.

“U-Um…”

“Gah! Go, go now, Yadomi!”

Anjo dragged me by the arm and ran out of the classroom frantically.

No one chased us. Only the class teacher’s dragged sound followed, “H-Hey, wait….”

He managed to pretend stopping us.

“Ahahaha!”

I couldn’t stop laughing. Yadomi was tired and pouting, like his old self, which further excited me.

“You even tell them to ‘look at me!’ That’s what a pervert would say!”

“Sh-Shut up.”

We sat in the pavilion in the park. Even the primary kids had yet to get off school, so we were the only ones in this desolate park. The bright sky gave a feeling of acceptance that permitted me to laugh my lungs out in this wide space.

“Aha…haha. Man. My sides hurt!” I said, wiping off tears with her fingers. She discharged all her sultry feelings with her laughter. She felt pleasant and refreshed.

“Anyway, thank you.”

“Eh…”

“You stood up for me.”

“Anjo…”

“But hold on! Where did I have a look of going to love hotels! I have never been to love hotels. Not even once!”

“Okay, okay. I know.”

“How is this okay?!”

Before we noticed, things had taken a sudden turn. It was comfortable for me, though. In a corner of the park was a net for ball games. Chatting leisurely with Jinta at such a far distance seemed like a game of passing conversational balls under the summer sky.

(Jinta’s changed…to put it correctly...Jinta has gradually reverted to ‘the past Jinta’…)

(It must have been because of Menma.)

In my heart, there was always an emotion pressing on her.

(If I didn't say that…that day…Menma maybe wouldn’t have…)

This was why it was painful for her to confront Menma. If Menma really came back, and she continued neglecting reality, Menma would only leave everyone ‘again’.

I kept the exchange diary I got from the secret base in my schoolbag.

“Say…”

“Yes?”

“Can I go to your house now, Yadomi? I want to call everyone else as well.”

Jinta was surprised at first, but he gave me a natural smile soon after, “Please do so. Thanks.”

Thanks —what a warming word. I didn’t do anything that deserved his gratitude.

I couldn’t forgive my past self for saying those words. Neither can I forgive my past self for loving Yadomi.

Perhaps this is why I would do such hateful things to anger Yadomi. Perhaps this is why I would throw myself in this situation that would heed no warm or comforting words from others.

But I don’t want to escape any longer.

It was only for Meiko or Jinta, it was also for myself.

“Anaru~!”

Menma flew to Anjo with a dash.

Anjo’s body shook lightly. She became a bit nervous.

“Woah. Anjo’s butt. Woman’s butt becomes so big~!”

“H-Hey. Menma!”

Flushed, Anjo pretended she wanted to hit Menma. But soon after, the tension in her was gone.

Her stretched arm headed to an odd direction. Even so, Menma teased around her in ecstasy.

“I’m really sorry!”

“What do you mean? The one who should be apologising is the dear Menma.”

“What’s that, Yadomi? What’s a dear Menma?”

“Eh? Oh…”

“Dear Menma? What’s that, a letter?”

The ‘dear Menma’ thing didn’t work last time. But this time Anjo’s seriousness saved it. Still, I wouldn’t have any weird thought like she saved me some trouble or something.

“That’s actually another form of apologising. It’s only useful towards Menma…”

“Wahah! What the heck is that? It’s not funny at all!”

“It’s not funny at all~”

“If it’s not funny, stop laughing, both of you!”

The conversation is thus made.

Now it became convincing that Anjo could see Menma…at least from my perspective. While a good sense of accomplishment and relief came into me, the doorbell rang.

“Menma’s such a failure. Menma should have made the steamed bread beforehand!”

It was summer, yet the kotatsu , was still used as a normal coffee table instead of being put to a side.

On the three sides of the table sat Matsuyuki, Tsurumi, and Anjo. Still worried about the silent atmosphere, I was being pulled by Menma into the kitchen.

“Ehh? Aren’t there Country Ma’ams here? Can’t we serve them? They are guests after all!”

“Okay, okay. Do as you want.”

Those crackers were in the cupboard where ‘those guests’ could see. Menma opened the cupboard without second thought and took a bag of candies out.

“!!”

“Ah!”

Until now did I notice the changing atmosphere behind me.

I had forgotten.

Whenever Menma touches something, it moves along with her. This supernatural phenomenon was only shown to them once through drawing the figure of infinity with a fire rod.

“Come and have some Country Ma’ams~!”

Menma said, happily, walking to the living room, the bag of candy in her hand.

I could see Menma, so it wasn’t anything spectacular for me. But to those who couldn’t, this was the most realistic ghost house they could be in.

“Ah…”

This was the first time I had seen Tsurumi show a face of being mentally shaken. Anjo must have got used to her in some way after our previous conversation, so she instead gave a smile.

“I like Country Ma’ams! It is very delicious when you ‘beep’ it with a microwave,” Anjo said.

“Is it ‘beep’?! Jintan, go and ‘beep’ it, ‘beep’ it!”

“You’re noisy. Just eat it the way it is!”

“What?! I didn’t ask you to do that!” Anjo said, a bit frustrated.

“Well, it was Menma who…”

At this moment, Matsuyuki, who had been silently staring at the bag of candy, murmured, “Is…Is Menma there?”

“Eh? Ah, yeah.”

“I’m here, Matsuyuki! I’m right here!”

“H-Hey! Menma!”

Menma ruffled Matsuyuki’s hair.

“Woah! H-His hair is…” Tsurumi couldn’t stop herself from bursting out.

In her persepective, Matsuyki’s hair flew into action by itself as if being blown by an electric hair blower.

“Menma! Quick, come here.”

In a panic, I pulled Menma’s hand.”

“Menma…is her hair still long?”

“Hm? Ah, well…she has grown like we did.”

“!!”

The atmosphere changed again. Everyone’s gazes landed upon me.

“Grown? What do you mean?”

“Well, I want to know what why too.”

Tsurumi and Anjo looked puzzled, but Matsuyuki shot me with sharp glances and said in a low voice, “…is she beautiful?”

“What?!”

Being completely thrown off by this question, I could feel my face burning.

“Matsuyuki! Wh-What are you saying! This…!”

I stopped and turned my eyes to Menma.

Looking in her big round eyes, a scene flashed in my mind.

That day, when I was asked whether I like Menma, I just spat something at Menma.

“Who would like such an ugly girl!”

It was an utterance that bit on me wherever I went, filled with endless regret.

“Yadomi?”

When I came to, everyone’s glances were still centered on me.

It was not troubling to look at Menma again, so I looked away and murmured vaguely, “W-Well, she can pass as a pretty girl…the cute type, I say.”

Then Menma gripped my neck and said, “What? What do you mean I pass!”

“Y-You’re noisy!”

At this very moment, as if heavens had sent me help, my mobile phone vibrated.

“W-Wait! I’ve got a message.”

“A message?”

Anjo asked, joining the party.

“Oh, is it Hisagawa? It’s about time he came.”

“Wha-What? I thought he said he couldn’t get away from his job.”

“Eh~ I want to see Popo so much!”

There was an attachment to Popo’s message. I opened it: it was a paper written ‘Love I offer to Menma’ along with a disgusting selfie of himself sticking out his tongue.

“What the hell is this?”

“Haha! Popo looks like a Jynx~!”

Menma’s joyful look almost casted the tension out of my head. But when Matsuyuki told us to “try letting Menma reply him” in an apathetic voice, the tension came back to me.

“Letting Menma reply him?”

“Yeah, if she can make steamed bread, she might as well reply with a phone.”

“Eh, yeah but…”

Menma’s eyes glimmered, and she snatched my phone away.

“Okay! Let me, let me…is this how you press it?”

Menma mimicked me by pressing on the LCD screen, but the phone didn’t respond.

“…oh.”

“It seems it doesn’t work.”

“Then can Menma write? Like we talk through pen or something.”

“Yeah, I let her tried, but…”

Menma could do anything basic: turning on the knob for the faucet or cooking or whatnot. But whenever she wanted to express her emotions, everything she did would lose its effects.

“This reason sounds weird.”

Matsuyki said, obviously dubious.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Doesn’t this sound odd? She can pick up a pen, yet she cannot write anything.”

“What? Do you want to say Menma is lying?”

When I hear his tone, I couldn’t stop myself from growling. Yet Matsuyuki just said matter-of-factly, “I’m saying it’s possible you might be the one lying.”

“What?!”

“Matsuyuki! Jintan would never do such a thing!”

“W-Wait. You two…oh, right! I have brought the exchange diary. Menma, look at this!”

To overturn the insidious atmosphere, Anjo quickly took the diary from her schoolbag. The direction she took it to was just where Menma was.

But Menma just stood there, at a loss.

“Did you…take this from my mother’s place?”

“Ah! No, well…”

Anjo only realised what she had said from the nervousness in the words I carry.

It wouldn’t be easy to notice that Menma cared about her parents if one couldn’t see her. But from what Anjo learnt and saw from Menma’s mother whom she visited recently, she quickly knew showing the diary to Menma was a wrong decision. As such, she put the diary back into her bag in a panic and tried to say something to carry on, “Ah, um, sorry. That’s…”

“Let me see, Anaru!”

Menma immediately snatched over the diary.

“Ah…”

Menma started flipping the diary, and looked carefully at one page. Anjo, Matsuyuki, and Tsurumi all observed at where she was supposed to be, waiting.

“Men-Menma…”

“Ah, here! I spelled ‘good morning’ wrong! What a failure I am!”

With a bright voice, Menma took the small pen stuck on the diary.

“Eh…hey! Menma, forget it.”

Even when she knew she couldn’t write, she still took the pen. And she started moving her hands…

“!!”

What was shocking was that the traces of the pen were flatly printed on the paper.

“Good morning.”

“Menma…!”

Shocked, Menma kept blinking. She must have been even more surprised than I. Still, she put on a light smile, as if nothing happened, “Heheh, this is correct!”

“…”

And even more shocked than us were those that couldn’t see her.

“These really are…Menma’s writing.”

Anjo silently stared at the ‘Good morning’. Slowly, tears came from her eyes.

“It really is.”

Tsurumi’s voice became shallow, her feelings and her voice had yet to be constant.

And for Matsuyuki…

“Mena, how are you? Well, I might sound a bit weird for asking this, though.”

“Okay, well…”

The words written were “Menma is very good.” Matsuyuki stared intently while those words were written. Deep in his eyes something seemed to be wavering.

He looked up, twitching the corner of his mouth. It was too subtle to say he smiled. I could almost hear him gulp down his saliva.

“Well then, shouldn’t we restart writing the exchange diary?”

“Eh!...”

It was evening, the only time when it was a bit cool since September.

Atsumu, Chiriko, and Naruko had left Yadomi’s house, walking beside each other on their way home.

“Menma seems very happy about the exchange diary,” Naruko said softly at her shadow.

After Atsumu raised that suggestion, the opened page on the diary was all of a sudden scribbled with numerous “Super~!” words. At the end there were two hotdog-bread-like figures, which Meiko labeled beside it as “This is the V sign for Victory.”

“She can write on the exchange diary. What does this imply? Can she write on things that contain feelings?”

“Okay, that might be the case!”

Atsumu listened to them from a side and couldn’t help frowning.

(Who’d believe in that?)

Meiko could write with the pen in the exchange diary. Probably the truth was that Jinta did some kind of treatment to the pens in his house, say breaking the ink or whatnot. There could be a lot of possibilities.

Atsumu thought it natural. Everything happened only because jinta wanted to keep Meiko for himself.

“Then we can now…share our feelings with Meiko.”

“Share our feelings?” Atsumu said, glaring at Naruko, “Feelings cannot be felt simply through words. Anyone can write whatever they want.”

“Matsuyuki.”

“If that’s what you want, then why don’t we just ask her? ‘When you died, Menma, we also kept growing. Would you forgive us?’ A question as simple as that.”

“!!”

Naruko’s trembles trembled violently. Chiriko barged in, “Hey, hey, Matsuyuki…”

“She would certainly say ‘I don’t mind’, because that’s the person she is…but then why does she have to come back? Because she couldn’t forgive us. She came back to reprimand us. Isn’t this the most simple and easy answer?”

“I-If that’s true, then why did she only appear in front of Yadomi?!”

“…”

Atsumu was struck speechless.

It was truth as solid as stone that Meiko had returned.

He always had Meiko in his mind. Seeing her in his dream was already a special day for him. He would pray deep in his heart for her return, even as a ghost.

His wish was granted, and he should have been grateful, yet…

Yet Jinta was the only one who could come into contact with her.

“If it had to be snatched away by someone else, why don’t I crush it with my own hands.”

This was a popular line in pop songs. It was now that he finally understood its meaning.

“Anjo, you have to save up the money from your pay.”

“Eh?”

“We’ll also think of ways to earn some money.”

“Doesn’t your school forbid working?”

“We’d think of ways. We…must…make the fireworks.”

Atsumu dismissed the sultriness in his eyes.

“We must…let Menma pass on to afterlife.”

Chiriko and Naruko were struck dumb by the strong emotions in his delcaration.

(Menma…everything will be fine if your wish is granted, right?)

To let Menma pass on afterlife. To make her leave Jinta.

This was also for the sake of Meiko. This method was justified. Again and again, trying to brainwash his own mind to deceive himself, Atsumu repeated the words in his heart.

If he didn’t do so, he was certain his heart would completely break down.

### Translation Notes

- ↑ bitches

- ↑ Japanese heated table, which you can cover your lower body with in the winter to keep warm

- ↑ Fujiya Country Ma’am Sweet Potato Chocochip Cookie

### 006. Chapter 7 - The Tree Hole We Remembered Awakened Abruptly

## Chapter 7 : The Tree Hole We Remembered Awakened Abruptly

If this continues, I won't grow into an adult.

That is why I have decided to grant Meiko's wish.

While I was thinking, the sounds Meiko made, coming from the black tree hole, diminished.

Then I felt my body growing in frenzy.

Growing and growing...the leaves growing around the secret base were once a thin, pale green colour, but now dense, becoming a hard, dark green colour.

After that, I harboured a doubt: do I really want to grow into an adult?